Altered States
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: For Kelly and Erin, working in high risk jobs forces them to realize how precious life is but when their lives are completely altered by a seemingly random act, how will they recover? Will their family survive? But what if they find out the act wasn't that random? Can they fix it before it's too late? CHAP 18 UP NOW
1. Past Thoughts and Future Memories

**Title: Altered States  
** **Chapter 1 – Past Thoughts and Future Memories**

 **Summary:** For Kelly and Erin, working in high risk jobs forces them to realize how precious life is but when their lives are completely altered by a seemingly random act, how will they recover? Will their family survive? But what if they find out the act wasn't that random? Can they fix it before it's too late?

 **Disclaimer:** Same as always. I own nothing but my muse and my love for all things #firefighters #Lindseride & #dawsey and #Sevasey

 **A/N:** Okay so…A New Start just finished and while I loved it to be honest I found it hard to write for both main couples in the same story and give them equal time but also to have them in the same story with the same baddie b/c two diff would be too much. So while our dear #lindseride will feature/cameo in the new #dawsey story (coming later this week - Family Ties-A New Start sequel) they won't be the mains as they will in this story (just as dawsey will make cameo's in this one but not be the main feature as in their own story – confused yet? Lol) . And this story line….is **completely different** from the other (b/c I didn't want to have two similar stories at the same time). It's going to be very angsty and emotional and different from what I've written before b/c variety for a writer is key (oh did I mention its emotional? Lol) ! So hope you all enjoy the ride ahead and here we go!

* * *

"You looked so beautiful tonight," Kelly offered warm praise as he looked down at his wife's naked frame beneath him; his warm frame spooned up beside her.

"You mean before or after dinner?" Erin teased in return as her delicate finger traced his sweaty, stubbled jaw before resting on his flushed lips.

"You were dinner," he winked.

"Can I return the compliment?"

"Always," he whispered as he leaned in and kissed her once more. "Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary to you too," she replied with a tender gaze as he propped himself up on his elbow and looked down, his fingers making small trails on her sweaty skin. "So…you sure you wanna do this?"

"We haven't been on a real family vacation since…" his voice trailed off as he started to ponder and then looked down at her less than amused expression. "A few driving trips to Six Flags doesn't really count. And Hawaii….well that was our honeymoon. How many years ago was that?"

"15. Wow."

"You know…we could always just leave…" he started to suggest.

"Don't say it," she quickly interjected as she pushed her fingers against his lips. "I think it's going to be great. I'm excited."

Kelly lay down beside his wife and pulled her close. "I am too," he told her in truth as he kissed her cheek, pulled the covers over them and then turned off the light; both of them drifting into darkness with contented smiles.

XXXXXXXX

"Okay so…coffee…" Kelly muttered as he headed for their kitchen the next morning, wearing only his pajamas and enjoying a few more hours downtime before it was off to O'Hare and then on to Disney World.

"I want green tea."

Kelly turned to watch an attractive brunette enter the kitchen with a somewhat mischievous smile on her face. "You sure you can handle the caffeine?"

"Yes."

"Is that so?"

"Yes…it's so," she argued back.

"Okay fine," he smiled at his daughter before he reached for the kettle and then filled it with hot water. "So are you excited to go to Disneyworld?"

"Yes! I was on Cassie's Instagram yesterday and saw her pictures. They looked so awesome," she gushed as she pulled her phone and showed her father the picture's on her friend's page – Cassandra Casey. "Ugh another of her brother Marcus," she groaned as Kelly chuckled. "8 year olds are so lame."

"So says one that was 8."

"I'm way beyond that now."

"Miranda Lesley Severide!"

"Mom's calling," Kelly repeated as his daughter stuck out her tongue and he couldn't help but laugh. He picked up the phone she left behind and started to scroll through the pictures. "Yeah thanks Matt…after you talked about it I knew I was doomed."

Matt and Gabby had married a few years before them and even though their daughter was two years older than his and Erin's, they were still friends when in combined social settings.

 _'Oh you have to take her to Disneyworld while she's still young enough to feel like a kid but old enough to really enjoy everything,' Matt had told him one night when the two families had met for a late summer barbeque two years earlier._

So he talked it over with Erin and they saved for the next two years and thought it would be an ideal time to make it a part of their 15th wedding anniversary celebration; a little monetary help from both Benny Severide and Hank Voight also helped to give them a few more options than they could afford on their own; both men still having active roles in their lives.

"What'd she do now?"

"Left the laundry in the washer…still wet," Erin groaned as she took the mug of coffee from her husband. "What time is Matt coming to get us?"

"3pm so it has time to dry," he deadpanned as she playfully pinched his side. "Remember we have that retirement celebration for Boden when we get back."

"Aye aye Chief Severide," Erin mock saluted as she took her leave.

He watched her with a small headshake and then turned back to the fridge. Beside the embossed invitation was a picture of him and Casey they day they got their CFD Chief Assignments. When he was told he was leaving 51 for 66 and Matt would be staying at 51 the feelings were mixed. But in the end it worked out as the families were now closer than ever. He and Tommy Welch had a few differences when he first started but as the years rolled past, they smoothed everything out and their professional bond began to strengthen. Rick Newhouse took a spot at 66 when it opened and was most recently promoted to Captain as well. Stella took the Captaincy of Truck and Cruz still wore with pride his Squad Captaincy. Gabby took a paramedical supervisor post and since no longer at 51 finally changed her name to Gabriela Casey. Boden took Tiberg's job when he retired and is even thinking about that himself. Herrmann took a Chief's position at another House which was odd at first but with Mouch then teaching and finally retiring it was an easier decision. Despite the fact that the core of 51 that had been together for so long and been through so much together had moved on, once each year on July 4th they all reconvened for a Firehouse reunion and that kept the 'Family Ties' going strong. That bond between them all would never be broken.

"Sure thing Sargent Severide!" He called back with a small smile as his eyes darted back to the fridge and another picture, one of Erin's promotion into Sargent of the Child Crimes division of the CFD; something she felt passionate about ever since she became a mother. At first he tried to reason with her that it would be too emotionally draining on her but she insisted she'd be okay and had since then helped to bring many child predators to justice. Antonio took over Voight's place at Intelligence when he took another job up the ladder in CPD. Antonio married Brett who took up a teaching post at the CFD. Jay married a friend of Adam Ruzek's and joined Erin as her Chief Detective along with Kim Burgess. Since they were no longer on the same team, Kim and Adam finally married. Trudy retired a year before her husband but comes back every so often to show the newbie's how it's done. With evil pleasure she'd say.

"Lost in thought?"

Kelly glanced as his wife and smiled and nodded. "Trip down memory lane," he replied as he pointed to a picture of them all at 51 – the last one taken with the original 51 family before they all slowly started to depart. "Seems like forever when this was taken," he points to a picture of the original family all still at 51.

"We just saw them all a few months ago," she reminded him with a kiss to his cheek. "Are you packed?"

"Almost," he replied with a grin as he gave her a playful swat on her ass and headed back for their bedroom.

She shook her head as she watched him go and then turned her attention to the fridge and let her eyes rest on a few other memories, two of her most favorite – the picture of their wedding day and right beside it the day their daughter was born. They had talked about having a small family, with possibly two children but when she was told the first one had some minor complications that could worsen with the second or beyond they both decided that one would be enough – and Miranda was a much loved child; born healthy. However, they didn't want to take the chance. They were close with the Casey's two kids and the set of twins that Antonio and Brett had. But the very real scare of having an unhealthy child coupled with her current workload told her to be content with one and work to give her the best life possible – which they were doing.

"Mom where is my purple swimsuit?"

"You have the Green one."

"I want both!"

Erin could only laugh at her daughter as she followed after her into the laundry room and then looked at the pile of clean laundry that hadn't been put away yet. "Both? Really?"

"Uh huh…" Miranda stated as she snatched the item from her mother's hand and headed back to her room to stuff it into her already overpacked suitcase.

"They charge by the weight!" Erin called out as Kelly's face appeared in the doorway. "She gets that from you."

"Does…gets what?" He asked in confusion as his wife neared and put her hand on his cheek. "Excited?"

"Just looking forward to having a break from work."

"Sure Jay can handle the fort on his own?"

"Think he's looking forward to bossing people around," Erin chortled in return as they headed back into the living room. "That Miller case was so heavy. This break will do us all some good."

"Yeah can't believe the bastard father might get off with his stupid defense plea."

"I know but if there is anything else to find Jay will find it; he's determined to nail him to the wall. Stone will make sure of that. Okay enough work talk," she told him with a smile as her eyes darted past him to a stack of mail on the counter. "When…is that from?"

"Yesterday."

She picked up one envelope from the CFD and waved it in front of him. "Yesterday?"

"Okay so maybe…a few days ago," he retorted as he snatched it from her hand and ripped it open. "Official retirement party for Mouch. Guess he's tired of telling everyone he was semi-retired for the past few years."

"More like got tired of the union stuff. Think Trudy wants them to get a hobby farm and like raise some goats or something."

"Poor bastard," Kelly chuckled. "They'll drive each other nuts in like one day. After that'll be looking for things to set on fire just so he can put them out."

"Not nice. Okay…Miranda! Let's go. You have to RSVP to that."

"I'll do it on the way to the airport," Kelly replied as he too heard the knock at the door and hurried to open it. "Hey buddy…" he greeted Matt with a smile as Matt entered their apartment.

"Gabby wanted to come but had some kind of incident investigation to follow up on," Matt explained as they all shuffled into the hallway and the door was locked. "But we'll check in tomorrow."

"Marcus is not allowed in my room," Miranda told Matt in no uncertain terms as Kelly offered his friend an amused smile.

"Promise," Matt nodded seriously as he looked at Kelly and smirked. The three adults chatted casually amongst themselves as Miranda posted one last Instagram clip and then the elevator doors hissed shut.

XXXXXXXX

"Never ends," Erin groaned as her phone rang while the three of them waited by their departure gate in O'Hare. "Jay…we're about to board…what's…who? Okay yes call Harkens tomorrow and get that warrant. That's some good news finally. At least the mother will be happy. She'll get her child back. Yeah send me a text update," she concluded as she looked at Kelly with a small frown. "Now I know why Hank never took a holiday back in the day."

"He does now?" Kelly shot back with a chuckle as her lips pursed. "There's someone who needs to retire."

"Your father did and still came back as an arson consultant," Erin countered as the message overhead finally called them to board.

"He just likes the title Consultant. Makes him feel special," Kelly mused. "Special right."

"Grampa Benny?" Miranda inquired as Kelly nodded. "Can we board first?" Miranda inquired.

"Are you considered a small child?" Kelly teased his daughter directly as she nodded and giggled. "But I'm glad you won this case."

"Yeah…me too," Erin stated as she turned off her phone. "Now I can concentrate on more important things."

The three of them boarded their domestic flight and chatted about what they wanted to see and do first – Miranda of course having her own ideas about everything and the two adults actually fine to go along with most. Just over three hours later, they had arrived in Orlando and then were at their hotel located in the Disneyworld area.

"Wow this place is amazing! Can we move here?" Miranda gushed as she rushed to the window to look outside at the magical landscape a head of her. "I can see Epcot!"

"Go glad it's only an hour time difference."

"Tell that to my stomach," Kelly teased as he pulled on a short sleeved button up shirt and then neared his wife as she looked out the window; their daughter still changing in the bathroom. "We should have done this long ago."

"You know I think Miranda's the perfect age for this. Plus…you know everything we do will now be documented on various forms of social media by our 11 year old."

"Look out world," he whispered as he held her close and delighted in the feel of her body pressed up against his.

"Okay can we go now?"

The two adults could only laugh as they turned around to see their daughter as she glared at them impatiently by the doorway.

"The Master calls," Kelly grinned as he neared her and tried to mess her hair.

"Da-ad!" She huffed as Erin shot him a warning look.

"Alright…let's go."

The three of them left their hotel room and headed down toward the lobby and up to someone who directed them toward the nearest shuttle that would take them to an entrance of the giant theme park.

"Okay vacation Director," Kelly started as he looked at his daughter who held a small booklet of all the things to do and see in the Disneyworld area. "Where are we going first?"

"Maybe Tom Holland will be here."

"Who?"

"Spiderman, honey," Erin whispered to Kelly whose brow furrowed and his daughter just rolled her eyes.

"Isn't he like…50?" Kelly teased as he winked to his wife.

"No. He's in high school duh," Miranda replied with a groan as Kelly shook his head.

"Well…maybe he'll be here," Erin shrugged as Miranda's smile instantly widened. "At least she likes…guys with…skills?" She retorted with a weak laugh as Kelly shot his wife a mock horrified glance. "Okay…so we're nearing our first stop. Where do we go from there?"

Despite the fact that they probably wouldn't run into Hollywood crushes, the day ahead…the week ahead promised to be filled with lots of fun, laughter and family bonding. Something they all would need to weather the dark storm clouds that quietly gathered on the horizon.

* * *

 **A/N:** okay so hope you all liked the start and thoughts on this new world I've created for our couple. There is a reason this is set 15 years from our present timeline and well since this is AU please don't ask about the ages and who should be where and what lol it's also a fake story. But I hope you all liked the start and are curious as to what comes next and just what kind of dark clouds might be gathering and how our little family will be impacted! So please do review before you go and thanks so much!


	2. Calm before the Storm

**Title: Altered States  
** **Chapter 2 – Calm before the Storm**

 **A/N:** Hey everyone and thanks! So happy that so many of you liked chapter 1 and I hope you like this chapter just as much. Enjoy and then please do review and let me know :)

* * *

"Alright…go easy on your old man," Kelly chuckled as he jogged back up to his wife and daughter and then looked at his family with a small frown. "It's hard work trying to do all this fun stuff in this heat."

"Thought you liked working around hot stuff," Miranda chortled as Kelly's lips pursed.

"Like your mother?" He tossed back as he playfully wagged his brows.

"Uh…whatever," she groaned and then rolled her eyes and pulled her phone.

"Another selfie?"

"It's a chat."

"I'm never going to learn am I?" Kelly looked at Erin in wonder.

"Nope," she smiled back as she took his hand and held it tightly as they slowly walked toward their next attraction.

"What is it?"

"What is…what? I'm having a great time. Aren't you?"

"I am but you seem…like you're not here," Kelly mentioned quietly as they walked behind their daughter. "Need to call about the case?"

"No actually…see the guy over there in the green cap. He's just…I don't know I get a bad vibe from him."

"You're paranoid of everyone," Kelly gently reminded her.

"A single man in a place full of families and kids. Yeah…that is weird. Don't you think so?"

"Maybe he's waiting for his family? Come on Erin…it's our family vacation, our anniversary. Call the locals and let them deal with it," he suggested as she looked up at him with a sympathetic glance.

"You're right…I'm sorry, I should just leave it…wait did you…Kelly! He's taking that child!" Erin started in a panic as they both watched in horror as the lone male they had been watching took the hand of a lone child that had started to wander away from its parent and lead it astray.

"I've got him!" Kelly stated as he charged after the man. The man however, saw Kelly incoming, dropped the unsuspecting child's hand and started to make a bolt for it.

"CHICAGO PD! STOP!" Erin shouted as she too ran after him, Miranda on her phone calling the police.

Kelly easily caught up with man as he tried to feel and hurled himself at the man's lower torso. This action caught him by surprise and both of them tumbled to the ground in a jumble of arms and legs.

"Hold him!" Erin demanded as she cursed the fact that she didn't have her gun with her. But in a matter of minutes the onsite security arrived; the Orlando PD a few minutes away.

"What happened! Peter? Where's…Peter!"

"Ma'am this man tried to abduct your child. You need to keep a better eye on him," Erin gently scolded as she guided the distraught child back to its mother.

"Great takedown dad!" Miranda praised as Kelly stood up and then looked at his wife with a small frown.

"Told you so?" He huffed as she shook her head.

"That look…predatory…" she whispered as her husband neared. "You okay?"

"Yeah…fine. Just glad you were right and it all ended before the child ended up…damn don't even want to think of that," Kelly huffed as Erin nodded. A few minutes later they had both given their statements and were once again on their way.

"So…where were we headed before our detour?" Kelly inquired as Miranda pulled her small map and then pointed to their next destination. "Right."

About an hour later, both Kelly and Erin sat on a nearby bench as they watched their daughter high in the air on a ride that their stomachs just wouldn't let them participate in.

"15 years…almost to the day," Kelly commented as Erin's fingers snaked her way into his and held them tightly. "Sometimes…feels like yesterday…others…an eternity," his voice chatted on as he looked at his wife with a heavy frown. "Shay would have insisted on coming with us you know."

"And she would have loved it…and our daughter," Erin added as their clasped hands tightened. She glanced over at her husband and watched his jaw set and knew his mind had started to drift back to that fateful day. "Kelly…" she mentioned as his tormented sapphire gaze looked over at her in misery. "The last thing Shay would want is you moping on your family vacation."

"She'd slap me upside the head," he exhaled and then smiled and nodded as they both looked up as the ride started its final turn and would be over soon. "Only happy faces at Disney World right?"

"Happiest place on earth," Erin retorted.

"Thought that was our bedroom," Kelly playfully wagged his brows.

"We do it in other places too," she shot back a teasing reply to which his grin widened.

"Are you guys talking about me?" Miranda inquired as she neared them with a wondering expression.

"No adult stuff," Kelly informed his daughter as she plunked herself down between them.

"Ewwww," she drawled as Erin just snickered.

"You run out of energy yet?" He asked his daughter.

"No. You're tired already?"

"On to the next attraction Oh fearless leader," Erin interjected as Kelly looked at her with pursed lips. "We'll rest tonight my old man."

"Ha ha," Kelly deadpanned.

By the time evening came around, the three of them were once again exhausted by happy and more than content to just relax in the restaurant of the resort and listen to some light music playing in the background while their daughter chatted on about some cute guy she saw while she sent a few 'chats' to her friends.

"Cassie thinks he's cute," Miranda muttered as both Erin and Kelly traded wondering glances.

"Cassie Casey?" Erin inquired, referring to Matt and Gabby's oldest child.

"Mm hmm," Miranda nodded as she went back to her phone.

"Can we take that thing away?"

"It's an appendage now honey," Erin retorted as she patted Kelly's cheek.

"Earth to…who is this?" Kelly snickered as he grabbed the phone from his daughter's grasp. "Hey Cassie…"

"Dad!" Miranda lightly snarled as she snatched the phone back. "Sorry. So lame."

"At least it's someone we know," Erin reminded her husband as they slowly enjoyed their coffee and dessert.

"They're showing a kids only 'Frozen' in 15 minutes. Can I go?"

"Alone? No."

"Come on dad….mom?"

"Kids only?" Erin asked in instant skepticism. "Not sure I like that."

"They have security and such. I'm not a little kid anymore."

Before Erin could open her mouth to protest, Kelly called one of the hotel staff over to inquire about it and after some family discussion, it was agreed upon.

"We'll meet you right back here as soon as it's over," Erin told her daughter as she kissed her cheek. "Sit by the other girls."

"She can sit with us. My littlest is 3 and I'm allowed to accompany her," another mother piped up and tried to assure Erin. "Don't worry my oldest is 25 and I still check in with her on a regular basis."

"Thank you."

Kelly wrapped his arms around his wife and held her against his chest as they watched their daughter turn and wave and then disappear into the theater with a bunch of other kids.

"She's growing up Kelly. And I don't think I'm ready for it."

"She'll be fine. They lock the doors until the end and someone stands out here just to be sure so…so how about we go and use that movie time for some private time," he whispered in her ear. But as much as his words would normally delight her, in that moment her frame remained tense. "Want to just have a drink in the bar?"

She twisted herself around and looked up with a disappointed frown. "I'm sorry. I'm being overly protective mom again right?"

"She's only 10 I get it. And…"

"And what?"

"And with your job, you're a bit more paranoid than most. I get that also. But I don't want to have sex with a stiff so…"

"Did you just go there?" She interjected with a laugh as he nodded and snickered.

"Come on…" he gently looped his arm into hers and let her toward the bar which was adjacent the family theater. "We'll talk about…stuff."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. When is the last time we had a drink in a bar…that wasn't Molly's and it was just the two of us?"

"Lead the way."

Erin tried to enjoy herself during the time her and Kelly shared some adult time in the bar but her mind was constantly worried about something going wrong. She recalled asking Gabby what it was like to let Cassie go out on her own with only her friends and another adult to a movie? _'I was terrified. But nothing happened. She's only 13 but we have to start giving her small bouts of independence in certain areas. Otherwise…she might just rebel and do it anyways.'_ Parenting was tough and Kelly was right – tougher still since she took her current role. But Kelly was her rock and surprisingly sometimes the voice of reason.

And when the movie ended and Miranda reappeared with a big smile and few new friends for her online profile, Erin's heart settled and she was able to enjoy and relax the rest of the evening. The rest of the trip would fly by but each day would be packed with lots of opportunities to create lasting, happy family memories and they took advantage of them all.

XXXXXXXX

"Wow can't believe it's been already been 10 days," Erin quipped as they entered their quiet apartment upon arriving home from their fun-filled family holiday.

"So glad you guys had a great time! Cassie kept us in the loop every step of the way," Gabby told her with a hug as her, Matt and Cassie entered the apartment. Cassie and Miranda instantly went to her room so that Miranda could show her all her 'photos' and 'chats' from the trip.

"Where's Marcus?"

"With Antonio and Diego," Gabby replied. "Tonio' thinks he's a fisherman and took them fishing," she concluded with a snicker.

"Really? Whose gear did he use?" Kelly inquired as he looked at Matt.

"No way. We bought them cheap stuff from Walmart so if it goes missing…we won't care as much," he laughed.

"Okay so since you didn't have much food left in the fridge, we ordered in Greek," Gabby told Erin. "So…let's open a bottle and let's hear all about the trip."

"Sounds good."

The four adults headed into the living room to enjoy some wine until the food arrived and then all 6 gathered around the table, and a lively conversation about the Severide family holiday ensued. Laughter, smiles, good memories recalled and current friendships strengthened. Those would all be needed to weather the dark storm clouds that silently gathered.

"Back to work already," Kelly groaned the next morning as he hurried to get his coffee ready and then get the door. "Miranda! Hurry up!" He called out to his daughter. Her school was on the way to his Station House 66 and when not working an all-nighter would be his duty to drop her off.

"Coming!"

"Love you," Erin kissed her daughter and then handed her her knapsack. "I'll see you after school."

"Kay bye…love you too!"

XXXXXXXX

"Hey boss…" Jay greeted Erin about half hour later that same morning as she headed toward her small office. "How was your holiday?"

"You know…it really is the happiest place on earth," she replied with a smile as Kim Ruzek neared them. "And yes I brought back mouse ears for everyone," Erin groaned as she pulled out a pair and handed one to Jay and one to Kim who both eagerly put them on and then laughed.

"Adam will like…"

"Don't even start," Erin warned as laughter ensued. "Okay so…where are at?"

Jay started into their latest arrest and then Kim started into their current case and Erin knew the holiday talk would now have to wait until a break or a day off. Whichever came first. That would be the day off…on the weekend.

XXXXXXXX

"Chief is in da house!"

"Newhouse," Kelly nodded to his Squad Captain as he entered Firehouse 66. Leaving 51 was one of the hardest things he had to do but knew if he ever wanted to be a Chief of his own and Casey also Chief they couldn't share duties at 51 unless the other was sick or off, and that's exactly what they did for each other. Boden had replaced Tiberg so was happy when Kelly was able to sub for Matt or the other way round. Some would claim bias. Boden would simply look at them and reply – family comes first and would ask if they had a problem with that. No one ever dared rebutt.

"Chief."

"Welch," Kelly nodded to his Truck captain as he neared his office.

"So…how was the trip?" Newhouse asked as Kelly placed a picture of his family on his desk from their trip.

He lifted his gaze to glance out the window and for a few seconds, his eyes rested on something…familiar…something that instantly struck his gut with the worst of all sucker punches. But as soon as he blinked it was gone. _What the…_

"Severide?"

"Yeah it was…good," he stammered as he turned to Rick Newhouse with a strained expression; Tommy Welch a few meters behind and both his Captain's knowing something was off. "Really good."

 _What the hell….was that? Did I just…_

* * *

 **A/N:** hehe oh you know I like to start the mystery right from the start but wanted to get a bit more family bonding time in there and of course a bit more insight into their new lives before the storm hits so please do review before you go and thanks so much!

 **PS:** please also add in your review if you'll be around next week and want me to update or if everyone will be away we'll come back in the new year. Your wish will be my command (we're here so updating won't be an issue *grin*)


	3. Danger ahead!

**Title: Altered States  
** **Chapter 3 – Danger ahead!**

* * *

"Yo….what's up boss?"

"Old ghosts," Kelly stated with a tense smile as he clapped Newhouse on the shoulder and headed toward his assistants desk. "Michelle I need that report from Boden. Gotta get it all done before Boden retires."

"Still can't believe Wallace is actually done."

Kelly heard the voice of his father and turned to watch Benny Severide walk toward him with a small smile. "What brings you here?"

"Report details from a call when you were in lala land."

"Disney World…not LA," Kelly winked as he snatched the file from his father's grasp while Benny offered his son a chuckle.

"I'd ask if you had a good time but I've seen all the stuff my granddaughter has been posting."

"Yeah I swear if she didn't want to be a doctor she'd be an internet star. What was…oh damn two kids killed?" Kelly questioned as he looked up at his two captains, Rick Newhouse and Tommy Welch.

"Yeah…father was arrested on the scene by CPD but uh…but the bodies were found in the back after the flames were put out," Welch explained with a heavy frown. "Arson huh."

"Confirmed. Just saw Voight and he said they'll press for two counts of first degree murder in addition to the arson."

"Okay," Kelly nodded as he signed off on the report and then looked at his father with a serious nod before he turned and headed back toward his office.

Benny looked at Welch and Newhouse who both shrugged and then turned to follow his son. "Kelly…what's going on? Didn't you have a nice time in Florida?"

"What? Yeah…course…sorry just a bit…distracted," he sighed as he looked out and watched a few dark clouds that started to gather. "Miss the sun," he shook his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"The weather has you distracted?" Benny inquired as Kelly looked at his father with a dry smile. "Did you get the invite to Wallace's retirement?"

"Yeah I answered before we left," Kelly answered somewhat absently as he kept his gaze fixed outside the window. A few seconds of silence started to build as Benny held his position for a few seconds and then advanced.

"I know what date is approaching."

"Yeah…still remember that…moment," he stated in a soft tone as his stomach started to tighten. "So…you still taking Miranda to the cubs game on the weekend?"

"White socks!"

"She's a cubs fan," Kelly tossed back with a small laugh as Benny nodded in agreement. "Jerk…"

"She…." he started only to be interrupted by the overhead paging system. "See you on the weekend."

Kelly gave his father a nod before he dropped the file and hurried toward his truck to follow his teams into the field. _Focus on the job…it was nothing…just…focus._

XXXXXXXX

"We know you were with that little girl and we know you gave her the blue teddy to lure her into the bathroom! You knew her mother was distracted! We have your prints and we have…video!"

"Look it wasn't…"

"IT WAS YOU!" Erin's voice boomed as Jay looked at her with pursed lips before he opened the top of the file and produced a few clear pictures.

"See Mr. Masters…that's you and that's…Susie. There's her mother with her back turned and you were what? Not her father so why the hell did you think you needed to take her into a place away from her mother!" Jay hissed; his tone just as disgusted.

"Who…where did you get those!" Their suspect demanded.

"Another one bites the dust," Burgess stated proudly to her partner; as they both looked through the dark one-way glass.

Erin looked up at Burgess who then entered and proceeded to take the protesting man into custody. "This one…damn I wanted to nail him so bad."

"We did…so glad that kid came forward with that video of himself that caught all of Masters moves on camera."

"Kids and their camera's. I can't get Miranda away from hers," Erin mentioned with a small smile.

"Erin?"

"Just thinking…I know you said twins were a lot of work but uh…but I sometimes envy the fact that Heather could have twins you know? Two at once. I miss that for Miranda. Having a sibling," she sighed and then offered him another tense smile. "Listen to me."

"You could….adopt," Jay suggested with hesitation.

"I know," she nodded as she gathered up the file and then looked down at her hands and watched them slightly shake. "You know…one's enough. Trust me."

"Erin…"

"I'm good. Think I'm feeding off Kelly's off mood these days. With the anniversary of Shay's death approaching it just…we go through it every year but uh…but okay so what's next?"

"Erin?"

"No I'm good. Let's move on."

"Okay so…this came in from violent crimes division," Jay started as they slowly headed back toward her office.

XXXXXXXX

"Hey Gabby," Miranda greeted Gabby Casey later the same day as she picked up her daughter Cassie, son Marcus and Miranda Severide.

"Hey sweetie. Your mom got held up on a case so you can come and hang at our place for a few hours."

"We can creep Ian's Instagram," Cassie suggested.

"Okay. Did you see what Shelly posted about her cousin?"

Gabby Casey listened to the banter of the girls in the back as she looked over at her son who just looked up at her with a headshake. "In a few years you'll be interested in what girls think and say."

"No way," Marcus Casey insisted with a defiant expression as Gabby just laughed and continue on toward their home.

XXXXXXXX

"Structure is all clear chief!" Welch called out as he neared Kelly Severide who looked at him with a firm nod and then quickly did a visual eye count of his teams to make sure they all were accounted for.

"Only a few cases of smoke inhalation. Not too bad for a structure this size."

Kelly looked over at Matt as he approached and offered an appreciative smile. "Always like when 51 shows up to help out," he gently jibbed his longtime friend. "All we needed was 42 here and it'd be a real family reunion."

"Except that Herrmann would say his house pulled the most weight and if Mouch was still in the field he'd say of course because you feed them too much," Matt retorted as both laughed. "You okay?"

"Yeah…never like fires in big structures," Kelly sighed heavily as he turned and looked at the now charred building. "Too many bad memories."

"Shay would have been proud of you taking the Chief position. You know that right?"

"Yeah…was just odd without her there…here…just yeah," he sighed as he looked at Matt in wonder. "I think about that day and those responsible for…and I know she wouldn't want me dwelling on it…anything negative."

"She'd be right," Matt reminded him kindly. "So…Boden's retirement."

"Damn huh…think Herrmann will apply for his post?"

"Think he'd let anyone else try to beat him?" Matt tossed back with a laugh as he slapped Kelly on the back.

"Yeah that way he can bring Mouch back as a consultant."

"Oh he'd love that title. Alright…see you later."

Kelly watched his friend go and then offered a friendly wave to Cruz and Stella Kidd before he told his team to pack it up as it was time to go. He thought the most recent call would help force his mind to clear and think on other things but it didn't; the morose mixed with agitated thoughts continued to keep fast hold on his mind and heart.

He reached his house and lingered in place behind the wheel for a few moments.

 _'Shay! Can you hear us…keep doing…oh God…she's not breathing. SHAY!'_

His mind jerked him back to reality when he heard a few of his teams laughing about something and gave himself a silent slap to get his attention back in the game. He got out of the truck and headed for his office, entering just as his phone buzzed in his pocket.

 _'Was late on a case. Going to pick up Miranda from the Casey's now. See you after shift. Love Erin.'_

He couldn't help but smile at the text as he replied and then settled into his chair and got started on his report from their latest call. Just as his mind started to wonder back to that fateful day nearly 15 years ago that claimed the life of his then best friend and the events and person behind it; he quickly looked at a collage of family pictures on his desk from their recent trip and the agitation subsided.

But that wouldn't last for long and the tens emotions would flare up again…in a most inopportune time.

XXXXXXXX

"Thanks Gabby!" Erin waved to her friend as he daughter got into the car and shut the door. "How's Cassie?"

"She's great. Okay so you know who she has a crush on?" Miranda asked enthusiastically.

"Tell me," Erin encouraged with a wide smile as they slowly headed for home and she listened to her daughter's banter about her friend and then how her day at school went. Her mind was half spent from the trying day and being back to dealing with the scum of the earth but as she looked at her beautiful daughter the troubles from earlier in the day seemed to disappear.

"Dad's going to be a bit later tonight. He has meeting with a few other chiefs," Erin told her daughter as she leaned over her shoulder and looked at what she was doing. "Is that…"

"Yeah that's us today…singing…some stupid song," Miranda explained as she pressed the 'play' button for her mom and they listened as the two young girls tried to sing, very off key, and then ended up laughing before they could finish.

"Think you should audition for the next intake of American Idol."

"You hate that show," Miranda groaned as Erin playfully ruffled her daughter's hair and then started to make dinner. After dinner, while Miranda did her homework, Erin sat at the table and worked on some case notes that she didn't get to finish up during the day.

Just before 1030pm, Erin's body, that had started to doze off, jerked itself awake and she quickly caught herself before her head slipped onto the table and she garnered a bruise. She quickly looked around and spied her daughter in the living room but her husband was nowhere to be seen.

She quickly shook herself awake and then texted her husband. But when she didn't get a reply in return, she texted Matt in hopes of getting an answer.

 _'He had a bit of a blowout at the Chief's meeting when the case about Shay's death was brought up. Thought he went home. Want me to go out looking for him?'_

 _'No I'll go. I have an idea where he might be.'_ She texted back and then looked at her daughter with a frown. 1030? _Can I leave her home alone for about half hour? We're in a secure apartment and…_ her mind tossed back and forth a few seconds before she berated herself for how many cases she had handled where a child was left home alone for less than 30, sometimes 20 minutes and something went horribly wrong. _If something happened to Miranda and I wasn't here…I'd never forgive myself…_

"Miranda, we have to get dad."

"Why? Where is he? Is he okay?" Miranda asked as she woke herself fully from her sleepy stupor.

"He's fine. It's coming up to the anniversary of Auntie Shay's death and he's just…a bit out of sorts right now. Won't be long."

"Okay," Miranda agreed as she headed for the door with a small huff, got her jacket and shoes on and then looked at her mom in expectation. "Are you mad at dad?"

"Right now? Just worried he's out so late in his emotionally charged state," Erin answered in truth. "But it usually passes," she added with a smile as they headed into the hallway and then down to the basement via the service elevators. Matt had told her, he thought Kelly could have gone to one of two places, but she knew exactly where he was – the same place he went for the past 14 years. The site of Shay's untimely death.

As she neared the location she thought her husband would be, her mind couldn't help but trail back in time to that moment when she found out from her then fellow Intelligence team members, Kevin Atwater and Antonio Dawson that someone at Firehouse 51 had died in the line of duty but they didn't know who in that moment. She recalled dropping her mug of coffee onto the floor and darting for the door and outside, her partner Jay a few seconds behind. He took the keys and drove while she prayed over and over that it was a misunderstanding or perhaps the information was false and they were all okay – maybe not reported in yet.

"Chief Boden! Who…"

He nodded toward the stretcher that bore a body on it as it rushed past and all she saw was a blond ponytail and Kelly's anguished face and her heart shattered – it was the body of Lesley Shay.

"Dad's here?"

Each time she had found him here, she had come alone; Miranda with the Casey's or at Benny's. Tonight was so last minute that she didn't have a chance to ask anyone to take Miranda for even half hour. She assumed he would have been with Matt the whole time and that would have spared him some of the emotional grief. She was wrong. Erin spied Kelly's figure, slumped by the entrance to the building and then looked at her daughter with a frown. "Wait here."

"Is dad okay?"

"He'll be fine."

"What is this place? Why is he here?"

"It's where Aunt Shay died. Just wait here."

Kelly heard a car door shut and then lifted his weary gaze and watched as his wife approached. "Sorry I'm late. I just…" he started and she instantly saw he was freezing.

"Oh damn you're soaked," she huffed as she started to take her jacket off; the rain at the moment not as bad.

"I'm okay," he insisted as his cold hand rested on her warm one and instantly gave her a shudder. "You alone?"

"No. Miranda is in the backseat. I didn't have time to leave her anywhere and knew it would be a short trip here and back. We should go. What happened today?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary it was…I just…I kept seeing her and then Hadley's face and then Shay blaming me for not saving her and Dawson broken up by it and me just standing there watching as they tried to save her," he rattled on as she helped him slowly stand up.

"Come on…a hot shower and some rest is what you need."

"I feel old."

"You are old," she teased in return as he offered her a small smile.

"Erin…"

"In 15 years I haven't once asked you to apologize for coming here and I'm not about to start. I'm just glad that you didn't drive on your own. But we gotta go; it's late and a school night. Roads are getting a bit slippery with the first rainfall after a number of weeks of dry weather and the car is a bit sluggish."

"It is?"

"Kelly, it's fine."

"What did you tell Miranda?"

"The truth," Erin said simply as they reached the front of the car.

"I can drive."

"You're shivering so hard your damn fillings might come out. Just get into the front and rest," she instructed as he finally listened.

"Hey pumpkin."

"You okay dad?"

"Yeah fine just uh…yeah I'm fine," he replied as he watched her move over to the opposite side behind his wife so she could look at him a bit better. "Your mom told you what this place is and why I uh…come here?"

"Uh uh…and she also said it's not your fault what happened to Auntie Shay."

"She's right," Kelly tried to assure his daughter as he squeezed her hand in his. He put on his seatbelt and then tried to clear his mind as Erin pulled away from the new construction zone and started for home. It was late and she was tired…the roads were slippery and all of them were slightly distracted by the days and evening's events.

"Who's it from?" Erin asked when Kelly's phone buzzed.

"Matt…I'll call him later. He called you right? Erin…"

"No I called him. We'll talk about it when we get home," she replied with a small huff as the rain started to gain momentum.

"No turn right turn...left is a detour…"

"What? There's no sign…"

"That's…okay it's faster," he resigned as she stepped on the gas a bit more but still at a respectable level. "I think that…"

"What the…"

"Erin! Look out!"

"I can't…Kelly the…b…"

"MOM!"

"LOOK OUT!"

"WE'RE GONNA…."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 **CRASH!**

 **AIR….**

 **CRASH!**

Silence followed. Sickening silence.

The car had run over some construction materials that caused two of the tires to blow, which made the car start to skid on the slick roads and barrel toward some construction debris – namely concrete blocks. She tried to pump the breaks but they were slow to respond and with the two back tires blown out, keeping it straight was almost impossible so that within mere seconds she raced toward disaster. She had lost sight of the fact that her daughter had moved over to her side and so thought that if she were to spin out of control and crash into the cement debris at least her daughter and husband would be safe.

She'd be wrong and that decision would come back to haunt her for the rest of her life.

Silence ensued. Sickening…silence.

* * *

 **A/N** : uh oh…oh dear….and now the angsty tension is going to start. Yikes! Guilt? Remorse? Regret? Yup…but how will our family fare after this 'accident'? please do review before you go and thanks so much!


	4. Prescription for Pain

**Title: Altered States  
** **Chapter 4 – Prescription for Pain**

 **A/N:** Hey everyone! So I did expect a reaction to last week's update and am kind of afraid of what I'll get this week but I do hope everyone reading will continue to give the story a chance and not jump ship or to conclusions just yet. I said it would be angsty and unlike anything I've done before and well…I am gonna stick to that and hope everyone sticks with me! To those supporting so far THANK YOU! Okay…here we go…

* * *

Matt rushed into the ER entrance of Chicago Med with his wife at his side; their two kids now with Brett and Antonio.

"Jay!" Gabby called out as she neared and saw Erin's partner along with Hank Voight and Benny Severide already in the waiting area.

"What happened?" Matt asked in haste as he looked at Benny's distraught expression.

"CPD is on scene…" Voight started. "Slick roads, couple of blown tires…it uh…preliminaries said they hit a cement bulkhead and the car…skidded and then flipped."

"Oh God…no," Gabby whispered in horror as her hand clutched Matt's even tighter. "What…how are they?"

"Don't know yet," Jay replied as he nodded toward three busy trauma bays with the entire Chicago Med team rushing around to help save their friend's lives. "Dr. Manning is with Miranda and the pediatric team but uh…Will and Dr. Choi are working on Erin and Kelly."

"Can't believe this," Benny muttered as he looked back at the room his beloved son was in and felt his stomach tighten.

"They're going to be okay Benny…they're a stubborn lot…you know they'll fight their way back to us," Hank Voight tried to assure his friend as Benny's tormented gaze kept fixed on the room a head of them and he tried to nod in agreement.

"Ruzek is down there right now wi…"; Jay started as Hank looked at him with a small frown. "Kim but I think Adam went with her…they won't let the scene be tampered with until…"

"Until what?" Matt interjected with a small huff as Jay looked at him with a frown. "You think it's more than an accident?"

"Don't know but just want to make sure. Erin would never put her family in harm's way…she just wouldn't," Jay stated with a sad lament as Matt offered a small nod. "They just want to make sure."

Matt looked past him to the area where his friend and his friend's wife were being treated but knew that right now if Kelly was awake he'd be thinking about his wife and daughter…himself last. He knew because it's exactly what he would do in the same situation.

A few minutes later, CFD Chief Wallace Boden entered the ER area and neared them.

"Chief," Gabby greeted her former superior with a warm hug.

"Wallace."

"Hank…Benny. How are they?"

"Don't know yet," Benny answered first. "Hate waiting…how's Donna?"

"She's good…worried. Terrance is still getting over the flu or they'd be here also," Boden replied in truth.

It seemed like an eternity before Dr. Halstead pulled away from his busy team and headed toward them with a somewhat grim expression.

"Dr. Halstead…" Benny jumped up in haste. "How are they? What's…"

"Dr. Choi is still with Erin. Her side of the car took the brunt of it and their daughter Miranda is with Dr. Manning and the pediatric team. She uh…I was told the car flipped and rolled and then landed on the driver's side which then slammed into the cement bulkhead?"

"Yes they…had to use the uh jaws of life to get them out…how are they?" Benny stammered as everyone around him held their breath in expectation.

"So for my part Kelly is going to be okay. He broke a few ribs, small puncture to the lung. Mild concussion and some internal bleeding which we were able to stop. He'll be in recovery room three after the sedatives wear off. I've sent him for another set of x-rays just to be sure we didn't miss anything but otherwise I'm expecting a full recovery. The others will have to give up updates on Erin and Miranda. Sorry I don't want to guess at what their prognosis might be."

"But…they'll be alright…right?" Gabby asked in haste as her husband's hand rested on her tense shoulder.

"I hope so," Will Halstead replied before he gave his brother a nod and then turned to leave.

"Heather said she could stop by the apartment and get a few things for them," Jay told Gabby and Matt as he referred to his wife.

"Okay," Gabby answered as she slumped back down by Matt's side. "Matt…"

"I know," he whispered as his hand squeezed hers. "Benny's right…they're stubborn they'll be okay."

The next small eternity passed before Dr. Ethan Choi finally left his trauma bay and neared them with news about how Erin fared in the crash.

"Erin is going to make a full recovery," Dr. Choi first told everyone and then waited a few seconds for the relieved sighs to be completed. "She had some head trauma but was never without oxygen so there will be no brain damage or memory loss. We did have to remove a small part of her spleen as it was damaged when the car flipped and then slammed into the bulkhead. A few broken ribs and she dislocated her left shoulder. We did a CT scan to be rule out any skull fractures and they came back negative. She's lucky the airbag covered her as much as it did. She'll be in the same recovery room as Kelly. It's been arranged."

"I'm going to see him," Benny piped up as Dr. Choi nodded and Benny was led toward his son's recovery room while the rest of the close friends remained in the waiting area.

XXXXXXXX

 _'Text from Matt…take the detour…roads slippery…tire blew…starting to skid…GOING TO CRASH….LOOK OUT…'_

Kelly's weary eyes snapped open and instantly his heart rate stated to climb.

"Whoa there…"

 _That voice…April…that means…damn…_

His mind tried to get his heart rate to come back down to a normal pace but when he saw his father's face instead of his wife or daughter's the rate went back up.

"Hey Kelly…Erin and Miranda are fine…just relax okay?" Benny tried to soothe his son as he looked up at April in concern.

"They…are?" Kelly managed in a raspy tone as he tried to swallow but found his throat a bit dry. "Where…are they?"

"Erin's just finishing up and you'll both be setup in the same recovery room. Miranda is still with Dr. Manning and the pediatric team."

"But…she lived right? She'll be okay?"

When April didn't reply right away, Kelly tried to get up but was quickly pushed back down by his father's strong but tender touch.

"You need to rest. Miranda is getting a bit of extra attention because of her age," Benny said in haste. "She's as stubborn as her old man. Course she'll be fine."

"I need to see…her…Erin…I need to see them," Kelly huffed as he looked up at his father with a watery gaze. "Don't lie to me…are they okay?"

"Erin is going to make a full recovery. She's banged up and they uh…had to remove a small part of her spleen but she'll be fine. Miranda is with the pediatric team because she hit her head but she's alive and that's what matters. What…happened?"

"It uh…it was dark and rainy and…and this is my fault," he tried to lift his arms to rub his face and then looked at his father in misery.

"What do you mean? You weren't driving."

"If I wasn't out then…damn, Erin came to get me…was too late to leave Miranda with anyone and….i shouldn't have been there…I should have left when…" he stammered as he looked up to see Matt enter.

"Gabby went to check on Erin," Matt told him as he clasped his friend's hand and gave it a good squeeze. "Glad you're all okay."

"Damn tires blew. But…but I thought Erin said that the brakes…I don't know…happened so fast," he huffed as he shook his head.

"The brakes what?" Benny prodded.

"Just felt sluggish. I think I was just tired…she was tired…reflexes were slow…" Kelly rambled on as Matt looked at Benny with a heavy frown before he quickly excused himself and hurried to call Kim Ruzek still on scene.

 _"You sure Matt?"_

"Kelly said something about the brakes being sluggish. Tell Adam to check the area around the brakes. He'll know if they were tampered with. Call Antonio's team and tell him that Ruzek will take this on if…if there is something."

 _"Matt…"_

"I don't know anything more. Kelly's…you know how he is with his cars, especially Erin's. He wouldn't have sent her out with faulty brakes. Just keep me posted."

 _"Copy."_

 _Kim Ruzek hung up and then walked back to her husband with a heavy frown. "Matt says check the brakes."_

 _Her husband Adam Ruzek looked at her and after a small shrug he headed back toward the two young uniformed officers and shooed them away so he could check under the hood of the now uprighted but crumpled car._

XXXXXXXX

 _Tired…just get home…car feels sluggish…maybe it's me…something's not…damn the road is bad…slippery….car's not responding…what the hell…tires blew and…BRAKES … nothing's working…oh God….we're gonna crash….NOOOOOOO_

Erin's mind jolted her out of her drug induced stupor and forced her watery eyes open. She was instantly greeted by some harsh overhead lighting and then closed them just as quickly; her lips emitting a soft moan which brought a nurse to her side.

"My husband…daughter…" she stammered as she looked up and saw Gabby looking down and then looked over and saw April Sexton a few feet away. "Where…what…April…where are they?"

"Kelly's in recovery and Miranda is still with Dr. Manning and the pediatric team."

"Are they alive?" She managed in one labored breath.

"Yes," Gabby replied as she clutched her hand and looked at her friend in sympathy. "Jay said Heather is over at your place right now getting some things for you all."

"Okay…Kelly…"

"Nothing too serious. Punctured lung, few broken ribs. But…your side of the car took the worst so you and Miranda…."

"No…" Erin tried to protest. "Miranda…she was behind Kelly…" she paused when she saw April and Gabby exchange worried looks. "What? No…I remember…she…" she paused once more as she finally stop to recall where her daughter had moved to. "No…no she moved back…I swerved to miss their side…hit my side only…" she shook her head as her eyes started to water. "She…she has to be okay."

"She will be. The doctors just want to make sure."

"What happened…to her?"

"She hit her head when the…when the car hit the cement bulkhead," Gabby replied with a somber tone as Erin's heart started to thump a bit faster.

"Hey Erin…" April quickly interjected as Dr. Choi rushed into the room. "Heart rate is spiking."

"I need to see my daughter!" Erin demanded as her body started to lightly convulse.

"Erin…I need you to take a deep breath and…Erin!"

She tried to snap herself back to reality but it was reality that had her so shook – the fact that she might have purposely put her daughter in harm's way when that is the last thing she wanted. "I need to see her."

Dr. Choi instructed April to go and check with Dr. Manning while he checked Erin's vitals once more and then instructed her to just rest and he'd be back later.

"I need to see…Kelly."

"He's okay," Gabby insisted.

"This is my fault…I … I thought Miranda was behind Kelly…" she lightly gasped as her face crunched in pain as Gabby leaned in a bit closer. "I would never…never put her in harm's way deliberately."

"This isn't your fault."

"Look I just….who's on scene…I need…"

"Kim and Adam are there and they just called 'Tonio'…" Gabby tried as Dr. Choi returned.

"We're going to move you to the same recovery room as your husband."

"And my daughter? Miranda? Where is she?"

"Dr. Manning will meet you both in the room with an update."

Erin looked up at Gabby with a tense expression and then found herself actually holding her breath until she arrived in the room and then was able to see for herself that her husband was okay. It was very early in the morning, several hours had passed since they were brought in but even still no one wanted to leave until they knew how Miranda Severide had fared.

"Erin…thank God," Kelly whispered as his wife's transport bed was wheeled in next to hers. He pushed himself up and bit back the resounding waves of pain that told him to lie back down; his brain ignoring the pleas from his father and friends as he took his wife's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Kelly…I'm so sorry," Erin whispered as her hand clutched his and his eyes watered.

"No…not your fault. Miranda…"

"Dr. Manning is coming…" Erin said as all talk instantly ceased when they all looked up to see a familiar face enter the room; Will Halstead a few feet behind her. "Where's our daughter?"

"Is she going to be okay?"

"Miranda is just finishing up in recovery. We are going to take another CT scan as she did sustain a head injury and we need to make sure we didn't miss anything. She cracked a couple of ribs and fractured her left shoulder but…" she paused as Erin locked eyes with the anxious brunette and she knew in her hear that something was very wrong.

"Just tell me…what is wrong with Miranda?" She dared to ask as her eyes instantly watered and Kelly's heart rate started to gain momentum.

"Okay…the first CT scan came back with evidence of a transcranial skull fracture on the left side. We…"

"Wait…what does that mean? Brain damage?" Kelly dared to interject as his and Erin's hands remain clasped.

"Tell us…" Erin interjected at the same time.

"We really should wait for the second CT scan results to make sure we don't make a false diagnosis," Dr. Manning started. "The last thing we wa…"

"JUST TELL ME!" Erin shouted and then slightly choked on a lump of emotion before she shook her head in remorse; her body having just come out of surgery begged her to calm down. She wasn't going to listen. "Sorry…please just tell us…what are you worried about? Is there…brain damage?"

"No. The nature of the injury does not show brain damage and there was no oxygen loss," Dr. Manning replied firmly as Erin heaved a sigh of relief. "The first scan, however, showed signs of a skull fracture and…the fracture might have obliterated her left hearing nerve and _if_ that is what the second scan shows then…there is no surgery to restore her hearing. Again this is all just preliminary until we confirm it. Plus there is swelling and when it goes down it could…"

"Wait…what the hell are you saying!" Kelly interjected in anger as he swung his legs over his bed and glared at Dr. Manning in anger. "Are you saying…my daughter is…deaf?"

* * *

 **A/N:** eeks! So yes lots going on (would you expect any less from me? Haha) No real major injuries to our couple – minor things to overcome BUT…lots of angsty tension and guilt ahead for sure! Again I really hope people stick with the SL and give it a chance to see how it ALL plays out (hey life is ups and downs, right and how we cope and adapt to new situations!) so please do review before you go and let me know b/c I'm so nervous everyone will hate this and I'll have to just end it early and thanks so much!

 **PS:** Please remember this isn't the same SL as 'A New Start' so there is no George and Shay isn't alive (for those asking about them). Thanks!


	5. Coming to Terms

**Title: Altered States  
** **Chapter 5 – Coming to Terms**

 **A/N:** So happy that most of you have remained with me and wanting to see where this new SL leads. Am sad that some left but hope the rest who stayed will enjoy the rest of this fictional adventure. Thanks!

* * *

"This can't be…" Erin uttered as she looked over at Kelly in horror. "Deaf…no…you mean she'll never be able to hear…"

"Not totally deaf…it was the left side of her skull that bore the biggest brunt from the hit to…"

"Oh God…please no…" Erin whispered as her eyes watered and she clutched Kelly's hand tightly. "It is…repairable?"

"After we get the second scan results back I'm going to bring in Dr. Lucy Stiles. She's an excellent Neuro-otologist and deals specifically with…those under legal age," Dr. Natalie Manning tried to offer as lightly as possible.

"So…not both?"

"The damage looks to be most severe on the left side but Dr. Stiles will be able to give you a much clearer diagnosis."

Erin looked at Kelly and shook her head as those around them realized they needed to give the couple some time to absorb all the new information.

"Can we see her?"

"After the second scan she'll be brought here to be with you all," Dr. Manning explained as he delicate brow furrowed heavily once more. "I'll give you a few instructions on what you can all expect. Best thing when you see her…be positive."

Kelly looked up at his father and then over at Matt who offered him a firm nod of reassurance.

"This is your news to tell…all of us here will respect that," Matt offered for everyone. "Just know you have our support."

With that a few hugs were offered until it was just Benny left behind.

"Whatever you need…whatever the time…" Benny started as his eyes briefly watered. "She'll be okay. This…she's a Severide…she'll fight this…let me know when you want me to come back."

"Thank you," Erin offered as she gave Benny a warm hug and then watched him leave and then looked at her husband and started to cry. Kelly eased himself over to her small bed and held her close while her body folded into his. "Kelly…I…I should have left her…at home. But I didn't want…didn't want…want to…to…"

"Hey…shhh….just…" he tried as his wife's body shuddered a bit in his grasp and then started to just go limp. "Erin?"

"I'm fine…I just…I thought…she was on your side. I swerved to miss…miss what I love most. Should have been me…only me," Erin lamented as her head rested on her husband's shoulder. Her body ached and the stitches from her minor surgery yelled at her to straighten up and take some of the pressure off them, but she wouldn't have it.

"This isn't your fault. You were out there…because of me," Kelly stated as his eyes also watered. He looked down at the bandage on his arm and then felt a pang of pain as he flexed and then shook his head. "Erin…"

"I thought…she was behind you," Erin interjected with a choked sob as she slightly straightened up and instantly felt some relief on the recovering surgery. "Deaf…Kelly…"

"Dr. Manning said left side and maybe the once the swelling goes down…it'll heal. She's young and strong…she has no infections or…or anything and…deaf?"

"I can't even…she'll hate me forever."

"I was the one who was too tired and irritated and…"

"Irritated?"

"That was wrong…sorry…I would never begrudge your emotion for Shay but I was tired and…this isn't your fault Kelly."

"So…what happens now?" Kelly asked with a soft whisper as his core started to warm and his body started to feel hotter than normal all over. "Feel…sick."

"Anesthetic wearing off. We both just…we have to be honest with her," Erin told him in truth. "We'll tell her that…that her hearing will be fuzzy for a while…like when one side clogs with water and that…that it might clear."

"What if it doesn't?"

"I don't know!" Erin huffed and then quickly lamented as her hand clutched her husband's a bit tighter. "I just…I just keep telling myself this is all a bad dream and I'll wake up and be a home and everything will be…normal."

"Shouldn't have been out there…" Kelly lamented softly as Erin's watery eyes lifted and looked at him in misery. "You look tired…" he stated as he gently tucked a strand of golden brown hair behind her ear and then planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "Let's just try to get some rest until she's here and we have the results of the second scan okay?"

"Kelly…" Erin started with a soft sniffle before she stopped and exhaled heavily. "I'm always the one telling you…not to jump to conclusions but wait for all the facts and now I'm …doing just that."

"Well…in your defense that usually pertains to cases and this…this is our precious daughter."

"Deaf…what if it's only in one ear or…or what if…right…doing it again," she sighed as she slowly pulled away and gently leaned back down onto her bed.

"Get some rest and I'll stay up."

"Kelly…"

"It's 3am…you need sleep."

"We both do but…" Erin tried to argue. The two of them talked a bit longer in soft tones before both started to doze off. They were able to get about an hour of rest in, not enough, but enough to give them a bit more mental and emotional clarity for when their daughter was finally brought in.

"There was a bit of a wait for the second scan," Dr. Manning told them in a hushed tone. "As soon as we have the results back from the second scan I'll bring them right in."

"Thank you," Erin offered softly as she slowly got up off her bed and slightly limped over to her daughter's side. She took the young girls hand and leaned in and kissed her on the forehead before her body doubled over and she started to cry.

 _"Hey…" Will Halstead mentioned as he approached Natalie Manning. "Bad news?"_

 _"Looks like permanent partial hearing loss. But we won't know for sure," she replied as she looked at him with a strained expression. "I know it was an accident but…but I know if it was me I'd feel more than guilt."_

"Sweetheart," Kelly whispered as he gathered his wife in his arms and held her as best he could. He didn't care about the dull ache in his chest as her body applied some pressure to his recovering area; he knew she needed the stable support. "She's here with us now and…and she's alive and that's what matters most."

Erin looked back down at her daughter's pale face and felt her stomach lurch. Her mind instantly zoomed her back in time to just before the accident and she felt herself wanting to throw up – which she did. She pulled away from her husband's grasp and rushed over to a nearby wastebasket and threw up watery bile.

"Erin!" April exclaimed as she rushed into see what was going on.

"Just…threw up…I'm fine…"

"Fine? You learned his bad habits," April gently scolded as Kelly's lips pursed. "Just take a few deep breaths okay?"

"I know…I just…she's here and she's alive and…and I am grateful for that. Dr. Choi told me how they helped her and gave her the best of care but…but right now I'd do anything to trade places with her. Anything."

April gave Erin's shoulder a comforting squeeze before she took her leave and the three of them were alone in the room once again.

"Suddenly I'm afraid…to tell her," Erin whispered as she tried to ease herself back down onto her hospital bed. "She'll…Kelly she'll blame me. I purposely swerved to…"

"You thought she was on my side. You would never…"

"You believe that right? That I would never purposely hurt our child right?"

"Erin, don't be…"

"Just tell me," Erin begged.

"Course I don't blame you," Kelly assured her in haste. "And she won't either. Trust me."

"I just can't…positive right…how can I be…" her voice cracked as he shook his head. "Did you call your team yet?"

"I'll call Welch and Newhouse later in the morning. Boden will get a sub. Work…work doesn't matter right now. Right now…all that matters is us making sure we have all the facts before we…"

"Freak out anymore," Erin huffed as she looked at her sleeping daughter with a heavy frown. "I always tell you that. Guess I need to take some of my own advice."

"Well…you might need to remind both of us…talking to each other and then her…her whole life is going to change now. We have to be ready to change also."

"Change…don't like change."

Kelly held his wife close once more as the two of them looked down at their beautiful daughter with heavy hearts. They were both very happy she was alive but Kelly was right…life was going to change – forever and they now needed a new plan so that they could change with it. All of them.

XXXXXXXX

About a half hour later Erin's eyes fluttered open as she noticed some movement to her right and knew her daughter was finally coming out of her drugged state. "Kelly…" she motioned to her husband who also roused himself from his sluggish stupor. "We need…to be very calm and reassuring. This…this could only be temporary."

"We need something to write on or…" he muttered as he pressed his call bell. "Hate to use these things but…" he stammered as April appeared with a wondering expression. "Hey sorry…have anything we can write on or…just use when she fully wakes up?"

"Course…be right back."

"Hey sweetheart," Erin whispered as Miranda's eyes fluttered and she looked up at her mother and then quickly looked at her father. She saw her mother's lips moving but only heard some pounding which she assumed was from her own heart and head. "Just…Kelly…"

"Hey baby," he whispered as he touched her shoulder as instructed to do which prompted her to look over at him. Once again her lips moved but she couldn't hear anything past odd static.

"Dr. Manning said left side…what about the right?"

"She should…Miranda?" Erin tried as she was on her right and Miranda had turned to the left when her father touched her arm. This time Miranda heard something and turned to look at her mother. "I think…the right is okay?" She managed in a soft whisper as Miranda's brow furrowed. "Sweetheart…" she started as Kelly wrote something down. But this time when he spoke without touching her, she didn't acknowledge his voice prompt. "Oh no…Kelly…"

"Let's just take it easy," he started as Miranda looked back at him and he quickly showed her what he had written.

 _'Doc says there might be some damage to left ear drum. We'll know more when the specialist comes. You're going to be okay. love you.'_

Erin's hand squeezed her daughter's tightly and her heart rate started to rise to the point that her tightening insides were now in pain.

"Erin…" Kelly gently warned as he could see her expression change to that of a grimace.

"Right…positive," she whispered as she leaned in and kissed her daughter in the forehead. "Time for some rest now," she tried to explain as Miranda tried to lift her weary arms and write something on the small pad her father had.

 _'Am I…deaf?'_

Erin's eyes instantly flooded as Kelly's also watered and he could only offer her a helpless shrug. _Be positive but honest…lying to her will only make her more frustrated when the truth does come out. You don't know anything for sure until Dr. Stiles comes to meet with you…_ Dr. Manning's calm words tried to reassure both Kelly and Erin.

 _'We don't know for sure the extent of the damage.'_

Erin wrote back and then looked at her daughter with a kind smile. "Sleep now," she spoke a bit loudly to her right side. It was only mere seconds before Miranda's eyes closed voluntarily, the drugs in her system making her still a bit drowsier than wanted.

"She needs her rest," Kelly reminded his wife as he looked at her in concern. "So do you. I'll take the first watch."

"Kelly…"

"She's…she'll be fine. Let's wait to see what the doctor says, okay?"

He knew he had to sound calm and confident because in that dark moment, he knew that one of them had to be strong for both of them. But inside…guilt was eating away at him…and he doubted he'd every fully recover emotionally from this. He looked at his daughter and closed his eyes for a few seconds and then was whisked back in time to their most recent family vacation where the sounds of his daughter's laughter and chatter filled his head. His eyes watered as recalled himself scolding her for just…nagging him about irritating stuff that at the time was important to her but not to him. Now he feared he'd never get that back. _Don't jump to so many negative conclusions just yet…wait and see what the doctor says in the morning…_ and that he'd try to do. But at the same time he couldn't help but wonder what the team had found out about their car? _Was it just an accident? Or something more? Purposeful..?_

Course it was already morning…just very early and he wondered if he'd allow himself to get some sleep. But at the same time he couldn't help but wonder about the accident and what might have caused the tires to blow. About fifteen minutes later he closed his eyes and despite his futile effort to fight it was whisked into the tormented realm of darkness where his body was able to get some rest but his mind wasn't. He feared it never would.

XXXXXXXX

Erin awoke a few hours later, feeling a bit better now that all the anesthetic had worn from her system and her body had rested – somewhat. Her side still ached and so did her shoulder as it tried to recover but she told herself that would heal – today was all about finding out about their precious daughter.

She glanced over at her sleeping husband and couldn't help but notice he tightly closed fists and knew his dreams…more like nightmares had been just as tormented as hers. Maybe more? She slowly wandered over to the small mirror and looked at her somewhat haggard expression and could only grimace in return.

Erin heard a small cough and looked over to see her daughter as she tried to reach for something and was unable.

"Can't…reach…"

At first Erin thought the voice sounded different and then instantly scolded herself for so quickly comparing her to someone she knew who was born 'Deaf'. "Hey…" Erin stated as she moved in to help. But she took it for granted that Miranda could still hear on her left side and that only caused the young girl to be started which instantly awoke Kelly.

"Wha…what's up?" He asked as Erin offered him a frustrated look and then touched her daughter's arm.

"What do you need?"

"My…phone," she huffed and it was the first time in hours that Erin actually smiled. "Phone…course…" she stated as she went in search of it. _phone…that's normal…my daughter…is still normal…of course she is!_ her mind chided as she reached for her phone and then handed it to her daughter and then squeezed her hand. Miranda looked up with a somewhat lost expression as her mouth said "it's going to be okay."

"What?" Miranda asked in frustration. "Sounds like…under water," she offered with a small huff as she looked up at her parents. "Will…I get it back?"

Just before Erin could answer, the two adults heard shuffling and looked up to see an unfamiliar but friendly face looking at them.

"Morning. I'm Dr. Lucy Stiles. I'll be working with you all from here on in. Is this a good time to have a preliminary discussion about what happens now?"

"Yes please…we need to know…everything," Erin replied anxiously as Dr. Stiles offered her a kind smile in return. "Should we go…elsewhere?"

"No. This also affects Miranda and so she should be included. Someone can write it down for her but it'll be less frustrating for her in the long run if she's informed right from the start," Dr. Stiles explained kindly. "But…if she wants us to leave we'll respect that."

"I'll ask her," Erin noted as she took the pad and paper from Kelly's hand and then wrote down that the hearing doctor was there to tell them exactly what happened and what they could expect in the way of recovery. And then asked her if she wanted Lucy to stay.

"Stay," Miranda offered with a small quiver in her tone.

"My brave girl," Erin whispered as she squeezed her hand and then kissed her forehead. She looked up at the kind doctor with a timid smile and slightly watery eyes. "Okay…let's get started."

"Okay. So…"

* * *

 **A/N:** Okay so wanted to leave it there b/c this chapter was getting a bit long and I didn't want anyone getting too bored with all the medical stuff but what kind of changes will the family have to adapt to? and while that is going on what will the police team find out about the accident? Please do review before you go and thanks so much!


	6. Adapting to Change

**Title: Altered States  
** **Chapter 6 – Adapting to Change**

 **A/N:** Sorry no update last week everyone but a dear friend suddenly passed and I was left reeling with a bit of horrible emotional aftermath (which will take time to go away-ugh). So I am hoping to keep up regular updates but please forgive in advance if I do miss a week. So hope everyone enjoys this update!

* * *

"You sure?" Jay asked as he stood with Adam and Kim Ruzek and Antonio Dawson as they all stood by what was left of Erin's car. It was early the next morning and much like Erin and Kelly – sleep had evaded them all for the most part.

"Yeah…see this…" Adam shone the high intensity light on a very small tube. "That small slit…very small and we might have missed had Kelly told Matt the brakes felt sluggish and Matt not told us to specifically look."

"So…someone tampered with their brake line," Kim Ruzek commented as her brow furrowed.

"Damn…this was on purpose," Antonio cursed as he shook his head.

"Probably happened when they were on holidays," Jay mused with a small hiss.

"Yeah or…" Antonio paused as his phone rang and he looked at the name. "Voight…" he stated as he pulled away to take the call.

"When I find this guy…" Jay started as he looked up at Kim and Adam.

"Think half of Chicago would support you on this one," Kim added as she handed the small evidence baggie to Antonio. "What else do you need from us?"

"It's late and we all need some rest. The forensic team is going to seal this up until tomorrow when we can all come back and look at it with a fresh set of eyes and they are going to go over every inch looking for anything that might give us some DNA on who might have done this," Antonio explained.

"I know they tangled with someone in Florida," Jay reminded them.

"We already have him on radar but nothing confirmed yet. Look, it's late and they're going to be okay and that's all that matters right now. The Intelligence team will reconvene in a few hours and we'll get started again. After some sleep."

"What did Voight say?" Kim Ruzek after Jay and Adam had pulled out of earshot.

"He thinks there might be another someone on the radar," Antonio commented in a low tone. "He'll let Kelly and Erin know when he has something confirmed."

"Who does he suspect?"

"You're not gonna like it."

XXXXXXXX

"Your daughter has suffered a transcranial skull fracture that has obliterated her left hearing nerve and damaged…"

Erin's brain tried to keep up with what Dr. Stiles told them but her pounding heart forced her ears to hear only the sounds of her daughter screaming, then silence then her own voice calling out to her family but getting only silence in return.

"So this means she'll still be able to hear in her right ear?"

"It's not that easy. If you plug one ear you can pretty much hear clearly out of the other. For Miranda, losing the hearing in her left ear and sustaining some damage to her right, judging distance and where noise is coming from will be a challenge. Having only one working ear can interfere with the surround sound experience normally associated with binaural hearing or hearing with two ears. For Miranda the damage to the right is rather minimal and when the swelling completely subsides I am confident that she'll be able to retain most of her natural hearing."

"So then do we need to learn sign language or does she get a hearing aid or….or what happens now?" Kelly asked after Dr. Stiles had handed Miranda a small print out on what her results were.

"No, for Miranda I am going to recommend a BiCROS hearing aid for now. If there is no hearing in one ear and hearing loss in the second then we recommend the BiCROS. This will help her achieve binaural hearing. There are lots of benefits to this system. Then if the right ear does recover fully we can go to the CROS system. The left will never recover."

Dr. Stiles looked at the somewhat confused parents with a kind smile and then both seemed to instantly relax. "Basically what that means is we use one ear to help the other hear."

"No sign language?"

"No. But with the loss and having to now be fitted with these devices she will have to have physiotherapy to help her learn to hear again."

"What?"

"We take it for granted but when the body loses one sense and is given an implement to try to help it…the brain has to now learn how to use that new device to help regain that sense. Trust me…she'll be fine. It could have been a lot worse."

"Okay so…." Erin tried to get her brain to focus on all of the new information she now took in. "What um…do you recommend? Brand or…"

"I have a package of a variety that you can look at and…"

"Which is the best?" Kelly interjected in haste as Erin shot him a small warning glance. "Sorry…this is my f…" he started and then stopped as he noticed Dr. Stiles shake her head.

"Best not to dwell on blame right now. We want to be positive and support for Miranda," Dr. Stiles added as she looked at the young girl with a tender glance and then handed her a brochure on recovery after hearing loss. "She is young and healthy and will soon learn to adapt to this change. Technology is always changing and evolving and it's amazing what they can do now. I'll also work up a rehabilitation schedule. My advice…get her started as soon as possible. It'll be a lot less frustrating for her and you if it happens right away."

"What about her friends and other family members…" Erin pondered as she looked up from one of the brochures.

"They'll need patience and understanding at first and then once the hearing system is in place and she's comfortable using it…life resumes."

"Sounds so easy," Kelly muttered with a huff.

"Oh trust me…it'll be some hard work at first but that's where love and patience will be needed…for everyone. Right now, continue to use the writing tablet and remember…when you need her attention, until you get the hearing system you want, touch her shoulder. Never startle or come at her from behind, always in front. Don't call to her from another room or with her back to you and then get frustrated when she doesn't respond."

"Right."

"I'll come back in a bit."

They watched Dr. Stiles leave and then Erin looked at Kelly and then at their daughter with as brave an expression as possible. But it was hard and her eyes instantly watered.

"Don't…cry mom…" Miranda said as she lifted her hand and touched her mother's.

"I love you so much," Erin whispered as she hugged her close. "I'm so sorry…" she added so that Miranda couldn't hear. Erin pulled back with a sniffle and then quickly wiped a few extra tears and then put on another brave smile and looked at Kelly. "Okay so…what happens now?"

"Now we see what we can afford and buy here the best hearing…device possible."

Erin's mind seemed to drone out her husband's words as her mind once again started to swirl around in emotional misery. She thought about all those parents she berated for not paying enough care to their children and suddenly found herself in that small room looking at herself who looked back with a blank stare.

 _"How should we go about this…"_

 _I did this to my child…I should have left her home…no you always get after parents who leave their children home alone and something happens…she's not a child…she's capable…she's only 10, she's a child…_

 _"Maybe we should…Erin?"_

 _You can't blame yourself for this…the road was wet…brakes were sluggish and…_

 _"Erin…_ Erin…Erin!"

"What? Yes…right…" she stammered as she pulled herself back to present reality and looked at her daughter who looked up in wonder. "Did you…" Erin started and then started to write.

 _'Do you understand what will happen?'_

"Yes…I'm kinda…deaf," she replied in a tone a bit louder than normal.

Erin could only smile at her daughter's response and could tell, that much like herself and Kelly, their daughter had learned from a young age when to put on a brave face and keep emotions of fright and despair inside. Was that a good thing?

"Are you scared?"

"Kinda."

"Me too," Erin replied as Kelly's hand clutched his daughters. "But there are devices that can help you."

"Can I get…a blue one?"

Erin's lips automatically uttered a small laugh; almost of disbelief and she could only smile and nod in agreement. "If…that's what you want."

"So…when can we leave here?" Kelly gently wondered

"Probably tomorrow and then the real adjustment starts," Erin answered with a small frown.

"Can I tell…Cassie?"

"We need to tell the Casey's and…Benny, Brett and Antonio because she sometimes sits for them with Cassie and now…so much to think about that we just took for granted."

"But we can do this."

They heard soft shuffling and then looked up as Dr. Stiles reentered their room.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, just talking about who we need to tell…her friends and stuff and…I was wondering about school. What happens with that?"

"Are you able to request work from teachers during the time she'll be off so that she doesn't fall too far behind?"

"I can do that," Erin reassured Dr. Stiles affirmatively. "What about when she goes back…will she need help or an aid or…but that'll make her stand out as different," Erin mused as Kelly's brow furrowed. "I don't want her to be a target of bullies now."

"How about we worry about crossing that bridge when we come to it. She'll still be able to attend the same school with her friends and should be able to get back to her routine as before…with a few modifications."

"Modifications?"

"So mainstreaming as it's called is a bit of a controversial topic."

"How so?" Kelly pushed again.

"Mixing deaf or hard of hearing students such as Miranda will now be classified as, with hearing students can have mixed results and ultimately will depend on what support services the school can or will provide. Most schools would just put her back into the classroom with little or no additional support services and might make her fall behind. Perhaps the school is willing to provide a teaching assistant who is familiar with deaf or hard of hearing students as a helper in the class that would work with her inside or outside the classroom if there was something she missed or didn't quite understand. Some schools offer resource rooms where she would leave her regular class for a certain period of time to receive special instructions with other students that have similar…challenges. This way they are assured of special attention and a bit more tailored help. And then of course there is a special class or school for those that are Deaf, taught by a Deaf teacher and usually done in sign language. The choice is yours but I don't think she'll need the last one. But again…that is your call not mine."

"Wow…never thought of all that," Erin gently groaned.

"Which is why we need to get past the very first hurdle. Picking a device for Miranda and getting her on the path to hearing again with an effective rehab schedule," Dr. Stiles reminded them kindly.

"Okay so…we need that device."

"I will make up a rehab schedule," Dr. Stiles informed them as she handed each of them a small piece of paper. "I only need one of you to attend at a time but both of you can come if you want. The important thing to remember is that this is only a new detour…not a dead end."

"How do I move past the guilt?" Erin asked in a soft whisper; knowing she was on her daughter's affirmed deaf side.

"That you'll need to work out with someone trained for that. I'm sorry."

"Right…course," Erin smiled firmly as they heard a small knock and looked up to see Voight and Jay in the doorway.

"We'll wait," Voight told them as they both ducked back out of view.

"Okay so…are you all still here today?"

"Think we all get our walking papers tomorrow," Kelly replied in truth.

Dr. Stiles talked to them a bit longer before she took her leave and promised to be back the next day to see them off and then would see Miranda and whatever parent was available for the first day of rehab.

"I'll see what's up," Kelly told them as he pulled away, planting a soft kiss atop his daughter's head.

"Hey…" Voight greeted with a brief hug as Jay gave Kelly a pat on the back. "How are they?"

"Erin is fine but uh…Miranda has uh….permanently lost her hearing on her left side."

"Oh damn…" Jay cursed as Voight's jaw gritted. "Sorry man…"

"Yeah…us to. At least she still has some in her right and…and Erin's blaming herself for this."

"She's not to blame," Voight quickly interjected.

"I know but she feels because she swerved to her side and thought Miranda was on mine…it's my fault. I shouldn't have been out there in the first place," Kelly hissed as his expression darkened a bit more.

"Neither one of you are to blame."

"Adam found evidence that the brake line had been tampered with," Jay remarked as Erin's face came into view.

"What?" She asked in shock as she neared. "Someone deliberately cut the brakes?"

"What the hell?" Kelly growled as Erin took her place beside him.

"Looks that way," Voight told them gravely. "This was no accident…someone targeted you specifically."

"Who!"

* * *

 **A/N:** oh lots of angst but our family can do this right? and hmmm what has PD teams found? Yikes won't be good when they find out what's really going on. so please do review if you're still with me and thanks so much!


	7. Hunting for Answers & Solutions

**Title: Altered States  
** **Chapter 7 – Hunting for Answers & Solutions**

* * *

"If you know…" Erin started as she looked over at her husband to see his jaw instantly set to hard.

"That's what we're working on," Voight quickly interjected.

"Could it have been that guy from Florida? Could he have followed us here?"

"Team is looking into that right now. Antonio's on it…trust me he'll find out whoever did this and nail them to the closest wall," Voight assured them in confidence. "Just wanted to give you an update. How is Miranda?"

"Taking this better than us but I think once she's home and rea life starts to set in or…or it's back to school and…and now everything changes for all of us," Erin huffed weakly as Voight offered her a sympathetic gaze. "Even if this was targeted…that won't take away the guilt."

Kelly remained silent as he felt anger start to well up inside. _I shouldn't have been out…this is my fault…it was late and…DAMN IT!_

"When are you outta here?"

"Tomorrow," Erin informed them as they both heard Miranda muttering something to herself in the room behind them.

"Soon as we know more, we'll let you know," Jay told his partner as he gave her a friendly hug and then pulled back to wait for Voight.

"Whatever you need…"

"Just…"

"Money wise," he added in an undertone as Kelly looked over in wonder. Voight's serious gaze drifted from Kelly to Erin and then he nodded. "Benny and I already talked about this last night. You ask…I know this stuff isn't cheap. Don't think you have to do this all on your own."

"Thank you," Erin whispered as she gave Voight a warm hug and then watched them both leave. "Kelly…." she started as he looked at her with a tense gaze. "Let's go discuss…"

"You know I just…"

"This isn't…."

"IS IT MY FAULT!"

"NO IT'S MINE!" Erin shouted back as both of them stood with heated expressions as a few eyes turned in their direction.

A few seconds of tormented silence passed as Kelly rubbed his weary face and looked at his wife with a tired expression. "I didn't mean to yell."

"Yes you did, but I don't think at me. I'm sorry too," she sighed as she leaned against the wall and looked at him in sorrow. "We both blame ourselves."

"I shouldn't have been out there."

"And I shouldn't have brought her with us. I made the choice. If she…"

"Because I was out there!" He gently snapped in irritation as her expression softened.

"Even when you're being pig-headed I still love you," she whispered softly as her eyes welled.

"Yeah I'm sorry," he huffed as he pulled her into his grasp and held her close as her body gently sagged into his. "This…Dr. Stiles was right, could have been worse. A lot worse. This might set us back a bit but…"

"You know we've never imposed on Hank or Benny for funds for anything," she started as she pulled back and looked up in serious thought. "But I think we should now. I think we should use every means possible to get our daughter the best device possible."

"Agreed," he nodded as he kissed the top of her head and both headed back into the hospital room. But instead of finding Miranda asleep or reading or just waiting for them, she looked up at her parents with teary eyes.

"Oh no…" Erin offered in haste as she assumed that even with her limited hearing, their daughter had heard them fighting. "What's going on?"

Miranda pulled her phone and then showed her parents a small clip that one of her friends had posted on Instagram wishing her to get well and singing something that Miranda wasn't able to hear.

"Only Cassandra and Marcus know," Kelly whispered as her referred to Matt and Gabby's kids.

"I'm sorry sweetheart," Erin replied as she hugged her daughter close and then started to write on the tablet.

 _Your father and I are going to talk about which device we'll get you and then Dr. Stiles will be back with your rehab schedule. It'll be up to you if you want to post and tell your friends. Dr. Stiles said telling them all right from the start might help them understand better. If any of them become mean or try to bully or belittle you, they aren't your true friends and you should unfriend or unfollow them. Okay?_

"Okay," Miranda whispered as her head leaned against her mother's shoulder. Erin hugged her daughter close and then kissed the top of her head.

A few minutes later they heard another barrage of familiar voices as Kelly peered out the door to see his house there for support.

"Hey man…" Newhouse greeted Kelly as he left the room and greeted his two Firehouse 66 lieutenants.

"Sorry to hear what happened," Welch offered as he too gave Kelly a supportive hug. "How is she?"

"She's…trying to adjust…as are we all. Gonna be a tough road ahead though."

"Whatever you need…just ask," Newhouse added as Erin's face appeared behind them. "Hey Erin…"

"Hey Rick…Tommy," she greeted both with a warm hug and then quickly swallowed back a sniffle. "You can go in and say hi. Just…she's lost the hearing on her left side so make sure that…" her voice broke as both men looked at Erin and couldn't help but feel a sense of helpless loss. "She has a crush on you Tommy so just…" she concluded with a smile as Kelly just shook her head.

"She's got good taste," Welch grinned as he and Newhouse said they just wanted to poke their heads in and that would be all.

"I hate that we have to tell people how to be around our daughter!" Erin snapped as Kelly's lips pursed. "Rick…Tommy…oh hell they've been around her since birth!"

"So they'll get it," Kelly tried to reason as she looked at him with a distressed expression. "Learning for all of us right?"

"Right."

And true to their word, Newhouse and Welch were there long enough to make Miranda smile but not enough to make her feel uncomfortable and then left with the promise, that much like Firehouse 51 and the PD intelligence team, if there was anything needed, to call.

Dr. Stiles returned with the rehab schedule which would start as soon as they were able to secure a personal device for Miranda and which audiologist would be working with them from here on in. Since it would be more trouble and frustration to offer a temporary one and then have to have her relearn all over again, they would sit down as a family and come up with a plan on which to buy and when.

"This schedule seems pretty reasonable. Physio in the morning and then she can do her school work in the afternoon. And…and she won't miss too much actual school work but…"

"But what?" Kelly pressed as Miranda lightly dozed in her bed a few meters away.

Erin looked at her husband with a weary smile and then let her hand rest on his. "You look tired."

"So do you. I just want the best for her and for it to start as soon as possible. What can we afford?"

"Whatever you don't have, you know we'll be adding in."

Both Erin and Kelly looked up to see Benny Severide in the doorway with a small smile on his face. "That's what family is for right?"

"Dad…"

"Really? You're gonna argue with me?" Benny interjected in haste as he gave his son's shoulder a squeeze and his daughter in law a warm hug. "What are you thinking?"

"Well…" Erin started as she looked at Kelly who shrugged and then nodded. "Miranda wants this one," she pointed to one that was blue.

"Blue…she's a Severide alright," Benny chuckled in response. "Is that the best there is? I only want the best for my granddaughter."

"It's the best for its type," Kelly told him in truth.

"Okay…Hank is already in so…"

"I just feel so wrong in asking for money for…"

"For what? Helping her get a better quality of life? Don't feel guilty," Benny tried to assure her. "I wish I had been there more for my boy so maybe this is me making it up or whatever…but we want to do this."

"Okay," Kelly agreed as he gave his father a hug and then excused himself from the room as his phone rang. "Hey Matt…"

 _"Hey man…how's it going?"_

"Good…I guess. Adam and Antonio looked at the car…brakes were cut," Kelly replied as Matt gently cursed. "Adam said you told him what I said so…thanks. If you hadn't it could have just been overlooked."

 _"Got the update on that…how are things there?"_

"They are…" Kelly paused as he pinched the bridge of his nose and then listened to some light laughter between his father, daughter and wife. "Good I guess…gonna order the aids…wow it's just so…they're expensive but Benny and Hank said they'd help so we can get the very best but then when she goes back to school not sure about help there. Dr. Stiles said if the school has an aid otherwise they're expensive and if not she's on her own and I think that could mean she'd fall behind and…" Kelly stopped as he gently yawned. "But then one of her friends posted something on her Instagram and it uh…she couldn't hear so she started to cry and it's just…I'm torn about the school stuff."

 _"Ah man I'm sorry. I can't even imagine. Cassie is asking about her and we've told both her and Marcus what to expect."_

"Thanks. I uh…Matt it was my fault. I should have just gone home."

 _"You go every year…Erin gets that. It wasn't your fault."_

"She came out after me!" Kelly snipped before he quickly calmed down. "Sorry man…just tired and stressed over all this. And now if it the damn car was tampered with…don't even know what to think anymore."

 _"Just tell us what we can do," Matt implored._

"Thanks buddy…just…the teams know, CPD knows and…and we'll call the school and get her homework and stuff but uh…but it's the everyday life stuff right?"

 _"Yeah. Wish I knew what to say."_

"Me to. Alright gotta run."

XXXXXXXX

Matt hung up and then looked at his wife and frowned heavily. "He's raw," Matt informed her with a small sigh. "Wish there was more we could do."

"What'd he say?" Gabby prompted.

"He said Hank and Benny are gonna help with the cost of the aids themselves but then he's not sure about the costs for a teaching assistant at the school…doesn't want her to stand out but also not fall behind. I don't even know the first thing about that."

"But we know someone who might," Gabby replied with a smile as she grabbed his phone and pulled up a contact and showed it to him.

"You're right…we do."

"Course we do."

XXXXXXXX

Kelly slumped down onto the bench beside the room and let his mind drift a few weeks back to when they were preparing for their family holiday and his agitation slightly settled.

 _'Okay which one?'_

 _'Neither?'_

 _'This isn't a nudist vacation.'_

 _'Too bad…next one?'_

 _'Hush your daughter might hear you,' Erin had playfully scolded._

But it was things like that that tormented him and one word in particular – **hear**. It would never be the same now. Dr. Stiles had tried to convince them that with the audiologist's help, Miranda would be back to being her old self in no time; with a few differences. But they wouldn't be enough to make her feel like her life was now forever doomed to failure. However, in that moment, he didn't feel very encouraged.

He heard a shuffle and then looked up to see his father exit the room and then near him with a sad expression and ease himself down beside him.

"I'm just…" Kelly started and then stopped as Benny looked at his son in distress. "I don't know what to do. Usually it's a tough case for Erin and I just listen or offer some lame advice or she listens to me after a tough call but it passes and that's about it but this…my actions…"

"Kelly, I know you've heard this and it'll take a while to get through your thick head but this isn't on you. Hank said someone cut the damn brakes. I think…it could have been worse."

"My daughter is deaf! And it's my fault! How the hell isn't that worse!" Kelly hissed as he pushed himself up and stormed away and around the corner. Kelly pushed his way passed a few surprised Med workers that he knew but all of them knew well enough to stay away when he was in a heated mood and this was one of those times.

All but one person stayed away.

Kelly reached a quiet corridor and then stopped and leaned against the wall and squeezed his eyes shut only to open them a few seconds later to see Erin in place a few meters away. "I can't…every time I look at her I know she's like that because of me! I know what you'll say and I know if Shay were here she'd tell me to get over myself but I can't! I just can't…I can't say that to her…to our daughter who is now…" his voice broke as his eyes watered. "I just can't…" he started as she decided to near him.

Erin said no words, only wrapped her arms around her husband as his body shuddered and he let out a few angry growls and then kissed his cheek and looked at his haggard expression. "This…isn't on you. I feel guilty also but we both need to be strong and be in this together."

"I am…I just…"

"Needed to break down away from her."

"Damn you know me so well," he gently smiled.

"I do," Erin replied proudly. "This is going to be hard for all of us but we have a great support team and right now we have Dr. Stiles ordering Miranda's new hearing aids. We have the schedule with the audiologist and we'll worry about school in a few weeks okay?"

"So glad we're going home tomorrow."

"Me too," replied as they walked arm in arm back to their daughter's room.

"And the case?"

"We'll worry about that as soon as we get an update."

But as Kelly felt Erin's frame tense next to him he knew she was worried now – just as he was. And it wasn't the fact that someone had tampered with his brakes that worried him most – it was who did it and why.

XXXXXXXX

Voight looked up as Antonio entered his office at the CPD headquarters with a tense expression. "I coulda come to 21."

"We were in the area."

"The area?" Voight's brows raised as Antonio sat down in front of him as Adam Ruzek appeared in the doorway. "You found the guy who did this?"

"Well we found someone who might _want_ to do this."

"Our guy from Florida?" Voight questioned as Adam shook his head no.

"Just found out, that a few days before Erin and Kelly went on vacation, someone was released from jail that could have motive for some kind of revenge."

"Yeah? Who's that?" Voight questioned.

"Kevin Hadley."

"What?"

* * *

 **A/N** dunn dunn dunnnnn eeks! Hmm so yeah lots of heated emotions here. Lots of guilt and tension and life is about to get very real for them all up next BUT…surprised about a possible baddie? Hmm could it be? Or just an emotional coincidence? Would love your thoughts so please do review before you go and thanks so much!


	8. Motive for Revenge?

**Title: Altered States  
** **Chapter 8 – Motive for Revenge?**

* * *

 _"Kevin Hadley."_

"He's out?" Voight asked as he reached for the phone while Antonio nodded. "Leo. Hank Voight. Need an update on a…a parolee," Voight concluded as he looked up at Antonio and Adam with a narrowed gaze. "Kevin Hadley. When was…what? Okay but aren't there notes on the file about calling myself, or Kelly Severide to be at the parole hearing. Okay I get that but…yeah I get that…yeah got it. Thanks."

"What?"

"Clerical error? Surely he didn't get out on good merit," Antonio complained.

"Got out on good merit. Guess the last five to ten years he's been a model prisoner. Done his time."

"He murdered Shay and nearly all of 51!" Antonio growled as he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room.

"So they didn't call anyone to the hearing?" Adam Ruzek inquired.

"His pastor," Voight retorted dryly as he slowly stood up. "Kelly's gonna be pissed."

"You wanna tell him the good news?"

"Won't make it easier."

"You're scarier," Adam retorted as Voight offered him a slight smile.

"Hank…"

"I know why Antonio's pissed…he was there and personally involved with his sister when her best friend was killed. However…maybe…I'll talk to Kelly and then I'm gonna see who Hadley has a PO. Hope it's a hard ass and if not it will be."

Adam Ruzek gave him a nod of understanding before he turned and left the room and caught up with Antonio outside.

"Don't say it…I lost my cool," Antonio huffed as Adam looked at him with a serious gaze.

"I get it…it's kinda personal for you. I just hope it's not him…that'll be way too personal for everyone."

With that they got in to the car and headed back to 21 with the hopes that they could find any other suspect to nail to the wall. But inside…that small nagging doubt now started to eat away at all of them.

XXXXXXXX

"Feels so good to be home," Erin mentioned as her shoulder ached and she wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower and just collapse on her bed.

"Yeah no kidding," Kelly commented as he entered and stood beside her.

The ride home was difficult at best for Miranda who could only stare miserably out the window and then try to get her parents attention for something that most would consider routine and take for granted and if it wasn't done fast enough or what she was used to, she'd get frustrated and all would suffer.

"Miranda, honey can you…" Erin started but with their daughter's back to them it was a moot point. She paused and then looked at Kelly with an expression of despair. "So much for being back home being easier," she grumbled as Miranda disappeared into her bedroom.

"Go have a shower and I'll put a few things away and order…something," Kelly told her as she looked at him with a tight lipped expression. "Your team is on this…or your told team or whatever…Voight will find the person responsible for this."

"I am almost hoping that he finds them and doesn't tell me," Erin comments as she turns to leave.

"Why?"

"Because Hank will only kill them…I'd like to do a lot more," she hissed before she disappeared down the hallway. Kelly could only offer her a small snicker but knew her words to be true. Course he too, in that moment, wanted nothing more than to get his hands around the neck of the person who nearly wiped out himself and his family. The old adage – _careful what you wish for_ – would come back to haunt him. Haunt them all.

"Okay so…" he started and then stopped as he looked at a small picture on the fridge of the day his daughter was born and him holding her in his arms.

 _'Congratulations Kelly…it's a girl,_ ' his mind recalled the happy memory that forced his life to instantly change in that moment. He remembered vowing in that moment to protect his precious daughter at any cost – even his life and now he feared that he might have failed her in that regard.

 _'You guys have made a good choice,'_ Dr. Stiles words came back to him. _'This is a top of the line, state of the art aid. It's definitely going to help her get back on track faster than the other models. I'll get this ordered right away and when it comes the audiologist will pick it up and Miranda will get the fitting from her and then it's on to rehab and then….'_

She made it sound so easy but he just couldn't get past the fact her life would never be the same. Kelly finished putting a few things away and then headed down the hallway toward his bedroom. He paused in the entranceway to his daughter's bedroom and paused as he looked at her as she looked at her tablet and softly cried.

"Oh sweetheart," he lamented as he waved his arms to get her attention and then neared. "What's wrong?"

She held up her electronic device and showed him a page that housed some more well wishes from friends. Trouble was…some were video clips and she couldn't hear them.

"What…do they say?" Miranda asked with a frustrated huff.

Since he had nothing to write on, he pulled his phone and started to text her the messages her friends had posted. "They don't know." He added at the end.

"I know. Hate this," Miranda huffed as her head lolled onto her father's shoulder and he hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

Thankfully the rehab would start sooner rather than later but for all of them it wasn't soon enough. They wanted it now.

XXXXXXXX

"Chief Herrmann."

"Chief Boden," Christopher Herrmann greeted as he entered CFD headquarters later that same day.

"What brings you here?"

"Matt Casey."

"Come again?" Boden inquired as Matt stepped into the room behind him.

"Chief Boden."

"Chief Casey. So….what's going on?"

"Need your help sir."

"What's going on?"

XXXXXXXX

Voight sat back in his chair and then looked at his notes on the desk and shook his head. This wasn't just another suspect; this one had personal ties…very personal ties to Kelly, who even though moved on from 51, was Hadley's supervisor at the time and helped with his takedown, after a heated fight inside a burning building. He had been fingered as a suspect in the building that come down on Firehouse and led to the untimely death of Lesley Shay that Kelly said Hadley responsible for murdering. The evidence found suggested he was involved and that lengthened his prison stay. Hadley claimed that it was 51's way of putting more blame on him and the evidence was entirely circumstantial but the judge ruled against it and so his prison sentence was lengthened.

"And now he's out," Voight huffed as he looked at the PO's name a few lines down from Hadley's. "Clements…what a putz," he muttered as his eyes travelled downward a bit further. "Pastor my ass," he hissed as he reached for the phone. "Leo I need another favor…"

 _"Hank this guy paid his dues…he's earned his freedom according to the state."_

"Or he's just giving everyone a good snow job. Pastor Davis. What do you know about him…and I don't mean the stuff I can find online or via his coworkers. I need the real goods."

 _"I'll see what I can find out but if this turns out to be a dead end…will you drop it?"_

"Depends on who's dead," Voight deadpanned as he hung up. _These guys never change…._

XXXXXXXX

Erin finished her shower and then entered her bedroom to see Kelly asleep on the bed on his side. She couldn't help but smile and knew he must have been exhausted as out of all of them, he had probably only a few hours of sleep in the past few days as he stayed up and let the two of them try to get some sleep.

Mindful of her injured shoulder she slowly eased herself down beside her husband and then smiled with delight when he rolled over to face her. "Didn't want to take you…I mean wake you," she stammered as his lips instantly parted into a wide grin.

"Can take me any day," Kelly whispered as his fingers reached out and gently brushed his wife's warm cheek. "Would like to take you too. Been a week…" he concluded with a mock pout as she playfully tugged on his bottom lip. "I know, I know we both gotta heal up. So…how do you think the rehab will go?"

"I honestly don't know," Erin replied with a small frown. "Miranda seems to be taking it in stride but she's part you so once that rehab starts think I'll feel sorry for the audiologist."

"Funny," Kelly deadpanned. "I'm just…she'll make it. I know she will."

"I'm more worried about her going back to school than getting fitted with the aids and learning to re-hear again. Goodness…we take it for granted. You know…they have those phones for those hard of hearing that flash when they ring…think we should get a few of those for around here. Just for now."

"Yeah wouldn't hurt."

"You rest now. I'm going to clean up a few things and then start dinner," Erin told her husband as she leaned in and kissed him on the forehead.

"I just keep wondering about who would want to do this."

"Well I have made a few enemies over the years," Erin gently groaned as she rolled onto her back as her eyes welled. "I keep wondering if it was planned for that night. Or was it just bad timing it was that night? Did they mean it for me to be on my way to work or…"

"I sometimes borrow the car so…"

"Kelly…"

"It's against me."

"You don't know that," Erin insisted.

"The best way to hurt me…hurt my family," Kelly started as his voice broke and Erin looked at him in haste.

"Let's just wait for the team to figure it out okay?"

"Take your own advice?" Kelly countered as she nodded. "Okay."

"I should get dinner started."

"I'll take the garbage down and then come back up and help."

"You need to rest," Erin reminded him.

"I'll sleep better tonight," he stated fatefully. "Promise," he smiled as he leaned in closer and kissed her on the lips. "Hurry up and get better okay," he teased as she gently poked his tender ribs.

"Okay I'll check on Miranda."

The two of them got up and then parted ways once they were in the hallway. Kelly headed for the laundry area while Erin headed to see their daughter.

She reached Miranda's room and leaned in the doorway as she watched her daughter at her desk on her laptop as she scrolled through one of her social media sites.

"Hey…" Erin approached and touched her daughter on the right shoulder as Miranda looked up with a small frown. "I know honey…" she huffed as she eased herself down beside her and hugged her tightly. "What's…going on?" Erin asked as she pointed to Miranda's Facebook feed. "Show me."

She felt her daughter's body tense beside her but a few seconds later, once she started to explain what her friends had posted, her tension started to ease and Erin was very encouraged by that. After they were done, Erin pulled up a blank Word document and started to type:

-ARE YOU SCARED ABOUT THE THERAPY?

-YES

-TELL ME WHY

And that also helped her and her daughter draw even closer as she watched her daughter open up. She wished she could tell Miranda to fully express herself verbally but worried that she would reply to something Miranda didn't hear and that could possibly end the discussion. This would work and she didn't mind. _Just need that hearing aid and the therapy…once that's in place…things should be more normal…_

In the meantime Kelly gathered up the two garbage bags, grabbed his keys and then headed into the hallway and down toward the service elevator. His body was tired and sore and he only wanted to lie down and relax but told himself that while his family was up he wanted to spend time with them. If the accident taught him anything is that life is too short and precious to take for granted or waste one minute on petty things or selfish things.

"She'll be fine," he told himself in an undertone as he entered the underground parking garage and then headed toward the large garbage dumpster just out back. Kelly pushed his way through the doors and shuffled over toward the dumpster. He tossed the two bags over the edge and then stepped back and was about to turn around and head inside when he stopped short and his heart rate skyrocketed.

"What the…hell…" he muttered as he remained fixed in place a few seconds before he finally dared to take a step forward – toward the figure about a half a block down.

"Hadley?" Kelly asked in a soft whisper as he started to pick up the pace. In that instant the figure turned and darted out of view. "Hadley!" Kelly shouted as he started to breathe a bit heavily. He reached the bend in the lane and then looked left and right – nothing.

"What the hell…did I see…is Hadley out of jail?"

* * *

 **A/N:** So yup…adding a bit more personal twist to Hadley's prison story. And if you all remember back to chapter 2…Kelly thought he saw 'someone' when he got back from vacay outside his Firehouse hmmm ;) and what will Voight find out and how will our couple take the news? Would love your thoughts so please do review before you go and thanks!


	9. Searching for a Madman

**Title: Altered States  
** **Chapter 9 – Searching for a Madman**

* * *

"Kelly is that you? Did you manage to bri…" Erin started as Kelly stomped into the kitchen, grabbed the phone and called Antonio's number. "What's going on?"

"I need to know something," he stated as his fingers punched the phone so hard he nearly dropped it. It wasn't until Erin gently pried it from his fingers that he looked at her with anger flashing in his blue sapphires.

"You look…what's going on?" She asked in concern.

"I saw Hadley!"

"What? Where? How do…okay take a deep breath and tell me what you saw."

"I was by the dumpster and I looked up and I saw…I saw Hadley. I think I saw him outside the firehouse too."

"What? When?"

"When we got back. I know it was him. I ran after him but he ducked around a corner and…it was him."

"And what?"

"And he was gone," Kelly groaned as he leaned against the fridge and looked at her with a tense expression. "I know what you're thinking…I'm losing it."

"This time of year? Around the memorial of Shay's death…what just happened," she reminded him in a tender tone.

"Right…" he huffed as he rubbed his face and looked at her with a heavy frown. "I think…yeah you're probably right. He was probably some guy and when I yelled at him…he took off. Course he would…damn…sure looked like him."

"Was his face…"

"Looked like the same scaring but maybe I just wanted to see that," Kelly groaned as he looked at his wife with a distressed gaze. "How is she?"

"She's getting changed and will be here to help with supper."

"How's the shoulder?"

"Sore but I'm more worried about her than anything. How's your side?"

"It's okay. Strained it a bit from the brief jog but it'll be okay. Where's Miranda's schedule?"

"Counter. Put it on the fridge and we'll start the countdown. She gets the aids tomorrow and the fitting and then…then the tough part starts. She's scared but I get it. I'm scared for her. Kelly, what if something goes wrong or…"

"Hey come here," he entreated as his strong arms enveloped her and held her close. "We just need to get past the fitting and first couple of rehab sessions. Then things will even out and this Hadley thing…I'm sorry I just…I'm tired and going off no sleep."

"Just go relax okay. Miranda!" Erin shouted and then stopped and looked at Kelly before she gently cursed. "Can't believe…I just called out to her like that…it's not even been a day and I've forgotten the basic stuff already."

"Once she gets the aids she'll hear you."

"Right…I'll get her."

Kelly watched his wife leave and then looked at his phone and contemplated calling Antonio or even Voight to see…to make sure that Hadley was still in jail – mostly to appease his conscience. But he didn't want to make a fuss or stir up more bitter emotion in front of his wife or daughter so he made a mental note to check later. "Okay…so…supper…"

XXXXXXXX

"Okay so the last mechanic to work on Erin's car was a guy name Mark Twilliger. He's about 80, considers Erin his granddaughter and would never do any harm to her or the car. And…he last worked on it about eight months ago," Adam Ruzek explained as he entered the Intelligence area later that same day.

"Yeah not a suspect," Antonio pondered. "And after that?"

"Nothing. Has been outside on the street by their apartment the whole time without issue."

"No street footage or nearby cameras that might have caught it on tape or anything."

"With them away anyone could have tampered with it but wonder if anyone would have noticed if someone slipped underneath. Even in the dark it would have been more suspicious if someone saw a light coming out from under a car. Someone would have called the cops."

Antonio looked at his team with a heavy frown and also wondered what Voight had found out from the prison Chaplin. "Okay so…we know that the car was tampered with but we don't know when or by who. We need to canvas the area and see if anyone saw anything suspicious the weeks before the holiday. Ruzek, take Jackson with you and Atwater, take Chen and Franklin. All of you…canvas the blocks. We need something."

"Copy."

Antonio watched them leave and then pulled his phone and called Voight. "Got any good news?"

 _"'fraid not."_

XXXXXXXX

After dinner and while Erin and Miranda were in the living room, Kelly told them he was taking some recycling down but really wanted an excuse to call Voight and just ask about Hadley.

"Hey it's Kelly…have a question about Kevin Hadley…call me when you get a moment," Kelly left Voight a message and then headed back into their apartment.

"She's had a long day and is going to turn in. You look…stressed."

"I know that was Hadley," Kelly stated as he leaned against the counter and looked at his wife who sat in the living room on the couch. "Same stance…same scars…it was him. I know it was."

"I'm not doubting you but…but we can find out for sure."

"I already called Hank to ask. Every year I get a call about the parole hearing but didn't this time so…so maybe I am just paranoid," he groaned as he rubbed his weary face and then slumped down next to her on the couch.

"You seeing him makes sense. But I think if he was out, we'd know."

"I…yeah we'd know," Kelly agreed as he closed his eyes while Erin's delicate fingers gently massaged his tight scalp. "So Miranda gets her fitting tomorrow and then…I want to rush this but I know I can't and she'll still be healing from this for months, Dr. Stiles said."

"But if the healing results in her right hearing being fully or close to fully restored the wait will be worth it."

"True," he agreed as he looked at her with a smile and kissed her lips. "I think th…" he started but quickly stopped when he heard a knock at the door and looked at her in wonder. "We're not…expecting anyone?"

"No…we're not," she replied slowly as they both got off the couch. Kelly headed for the door while Erin headed for her gun holster – just in case.

Kelly opened the door and stared at the last person he expected to see. "Hank? Hey…what's going on?"

"I know it's late…" Voight stated in a soft tone as he entered. "Miranda still up?"

"No…she was so tired from all the events she went to bed," Erin informed him as they lingered in the kitchen. "Did you want to see her?"

"No. Actually I'm glad she's asleep. After all she's been through she needs the rest. So do you both and I did waffle on this but…"

"Does this have to do with Hadley?" Kelly asked in haste as Voight's jaw instantly hardened. "He's out right?"

"Kelly…."

"I saw him!"

"What? Where?" Voight asked in shock.

"It's true?" Kelly asked in shock as Erin looked at Voight in surprise and then asked "How the hell did he get out?"

"Good merit," Voight replied dryly as Erin's eyes widened. "And neither of us were called for this year's parole hearing due to a clerical error."

"Okay this…" Kelly started as he pulled away and started to pace and shake his head. "He has no restrictions?"

"He does. So I'll ask are you sure it was Kevin Hadley you saw?"

Kelly looked at Erin who offered a small shrug and then at Voight and shook his head. "I…I can't be sure. It was a from a distance but damn….sure looked like him. And he can't come near 51 or 66 right?"

"That's right or your home address as per some of his parole restrictions."

"Can't believe this!" Kelly hissed as he looked at Voight in anger. "Where is he living?"

"Can't tell you that."

"You don't need to know," Erin reminded Kelly in a kind tone. "You'll just want to go down there and antagonize him."

"Shay's dead and he's alive!" Kelly growled as he glared at Erin in anger. "You bet that's what I want to do! Make him come at me so he'll violate it and get his ass sent back to prison. He did this…he's the one that tampered with our car!"

"Kelly…"

"I know it seems obvious but who else would hold a grudge that long!"

"We're looking into all possibilities and he's now on our radar," Voight told them in truth. "We're canvassing the area for anyone that might have seen anything."

"But it could have happened anywhere. When we were out or he was on a call or…"

"How long has he been out?"

"Let us worry about that," Voight answered Kelly who turned away in frustrated anger. "I know this isn't the news you were hoping for but I figured had I waited to tell you, and someone else did, there would be hell to pay. So…those are the facts and right now the case is active with Intelligence. Let them do their job."

"Kim and Jay will want to help."

"They have a department with their own cases to run in Child Crimes while you help your daughter get back into a regular routine. Let intelligence do their job," Voight warned again as both Kelly and Erin looked at him with weary expressions. "It's late and I'm sorry to end the evening on a tough note. Benny said you bought the best aids. Good. Focus your attention and energy on her."

"Okay," Erin offered a weak smile as she gave Voight a hug and then watched him leave. Once the door was closed she looked back at Kelly and shook her head. "I don't know what to think."

"Think I'm losing it?"

"No and I'm not calling you a liar but if he really did lie just to earn his freedom why would he take the chance of breaking any of his parole restrictions?"

"Because he wants to even the score! Voight shouldn't have told us this now!"

"Would you rather him waited and told you tomorrow then when you asked and he said he knew today and then you'd be just as pissed!" Erin argued back.

"I want Hadley back in jail!"

"Kelly…"

"He tried to kill us ALL!" He shouted at the same time his fist slammed down onto the counter. But his timing was ill-fated as in that moment his daughter had rounded the corner, spied the outburst and thought it was because of her current situation.

"Miranda," Erin calmly stated as Kelly turned around in instant remorse.

"Is this…because of me?" She asked and Kelly's eyes instantly welled and Erin's heart sunk.

"No sweetheart," Kelly rushed toward her, shaking his head so she'd hopefully understand. "Your mother and I…" he started talking in haste and then stopped when she looked up in confusion. "Right…" he huffed as he took the pad of paper and pen from his wife's hand.

 _We were talking about the…  
_ _THE WEATHER?  
_ _Yeah…the weather  
_ He smiled and then offered her a hug and kissed the top of her head.

 _Are you okay? Did you need something?_ Erin wrote next.

"Water…"

They watched their daughter get a small glass of water then offer them a smile before she turned and disappeared into her bedroom.

"Damn…I wasn't…you're right…no matter when Voight had told us, I'd be pissed. Good behaviour…what a load! He'll never change…never. I just…" he started and then stopped his verbal rant when Erin's hand rested on his.

"Maybe he shouldn't have told you tonight."

"Ah sleep's overrated," he gently huffed as he clutched her hand. "But if I find out that it was Hadley…that he was the one to cause my little girl to lose her hearing…you better pray that Voight finds him first!"

With that he pulled away and Erin could only watch in frustrated helplessness as her husband's tense frame disappeared from view. She didn't want to believe that Hadley had held that grudge that long and that he didn't care about losing his freedom and the first thing he did was seek some personal revenge on the man he believed ruined his life. But…at the same time she knew it was possible; those things did happen. Only Kelly was right…best way to hurt him…hurt his family. And that didn't bode well for anyone. If it was Hadley…the personal quest had only just started and she feared an ending that would devastate them all.

"Come on Antonio…find who did this before it's too late…for all of us," she whispered before she turned off the lights.

XXXXXXXX

 _But outside their apartment, under the cloak of darkness, a figure sat in the shadows, watched until the lights went out and then disappeared from view. "You took all I had…time to even the score – for good."_

* * *

 **A/N:** Yikes! Ah you know I love my angsty danger and tension but hmm could it really be Hadley? Is he a convenient pawn? Or is Kelly right and one final fiery showdown is looming? And how will their first therapy session go up next? Would love your thoughts on this angsty journey so please do review before you go and thanks so much!


	10. Showing your Strength

**Title: Altered States  
 **Chapter 10 – Showing your Strength****

* * *

When Erin awoke the next morning Kelly's side of the bed was empty and cold and her first thought was that he went in search of Kevin Hadley to confront him about what Kelly perceived was his fault. But as she gently stumbled into the living room she spied her husband standing in front of the window with an absent look on his face.

"Thought you'd left," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around him from behind for a few seconds. Despite the fact that her shoulder hurt she missed feeling all of him in her grasp so endured the few seconds of pain. "You okay?"

"Yeah…nervous about today. With the fitting and all that," he confessed in a soft tone as she came and stood in front of him and let him pull her against his chest and wrap his arms around her tightly. "I kept seeing her in my mind that the aids didn't fit and she blamed me."

"Musta shared the same nightmare," Erin confessed with a small huff. "We should get ready to g…"

"You sure you want me there?"

"No but your daughter will," Erin reminded him as she looked at her husband in wonder. "What's going on? You know it's going to be hard but…but…oh I know…and no way!"

"What?" Kelly retorted as he pushed past and headed into the kitchen. "I just thought…I might make Miranda nervous and…"

"You're not going anywhere near Kevin Hadley."

"I don't even know where he's living now. He lost his place so…" he stopped and then looked at her with a heavy frown. "Can you blame me? It's the anniversary of Shay's death and he…"

"He wasn't the one responsible. It was only circumstantial."

"The judge found him guilty!" Kelly argued back as they looked at each other in heated frustration. "I want him dead!"

A few seconds later both looked up to see Miranda shuffle into the kitchen and then stepped back a few feet and then looked at their daughter in sympathy.

"Sorry," Erin offered as Miranda neared them.

"What's…going on?" Miranda asked in concern.

"Nothing sweetheart," Kelly offered as he kissed her on the head and then smiled and pulled his phone and texted, _'I'm going to get ready to take you to your appointment.'_

"Okay."

Erin watched Kelly leave and knew his mind was about to boil over and worried that he would confront Hadley and make things worse for all of them. "Hey," she greeted her daughter with a hug and then held up the cereal box. As much as she dreaded the appointment with the audiologist she now wished it was over and Miranda had the aids in place and was on the road to hearing again. She watched her daughter with a kind smile and knew she was a fighter…much like her and Kelly, their daughter was a fighter; she'd be okay. In truth it was Kelly she was really worried about. When he returned and said everything was fine with his tight lipped smile she knew he wasn't.

XXXXXXXX

As they neared the hearing center, Erin's heart rate started to tighten. It had been about a week since the accident itself and while Dr. Stiles said it was normal considering the trauma and how they had to wait for the majority of Miranda's swelling to subside before they did the fitting and then she started with the rehab.

"Morning Mr. and Mrs. Severide and this must be Miranda," the kind woman greeted as they entered the quiet office. "I'm Dr. Jones."

"Wait…your name is Indiana Jones?"

"My momma thought it would be funny," she deadpanned as Miranda just offered her a blank stare. Dr. Jones grabbed a small writing tablet and told Miranda to come with her and see the aids. "Let's get started. Mom and dad can stay here for the first session but then if it's okay with her I'd like to just work one on one. I find that for patients, especially younger ones, they are more likely to want to succeed without mom and dad around and it's less stressful for the whole family if there is a setback."

"I understand," Erin acknowledged.

"Okay," Kelly agreed.

"So…I have this all…written out," Dr. Jones started as she pointed to the wall and then started up a small slide presentation. It started out with telling them all about herself; a little program she had written so that those who couldn't hear wouldn't feel let out right from the start. And it worked, Miranda was able to read along and understood who she'd be working with and what to expect.

"Okay so…" Dr. Jones pulled out the box and then put it on the table so that Miranda could see her new device. "This…is for you."

Miranda's eyes instantly flooded and three hearts instantly broke.

"Oh baby I'm so sorry," Erin whispered as she put her arm around Miranda's slender shoulders and gave her a hug.

"It's always hard at first. I think patients think the hearing will come back. She'll be okay," Dr. Jones tried to assure them as Miranda's trembling fingers slowly reached out and then rested on the box. "Let her work at it at her own pace."

"These are good right?" Kelly asked in uncertainty.

"Some of the best on the market."

Miranda pulled out the aids and looked at them with a frown and then up at Dr. Jones with a shrug. "How do they work?" She asked somewhat awkwardly.

"Here…let me show you."

And instead of pulling out just a booklet, Dr. Jones brought up a video that showed the aids being fitted on a young girl and Miranda's tension subsided greatly. And while she was a little scared at first, by the end of the video, Miranda was ready to get the aids and Erin and Kelly were more than encouraged that this would work.

"Okay so…fitting time?"

"Yes," Miranda agreed with two thumbs up.

"My brave girl," Erin whispered as she gave her daughter's arm a loving squeeze.

"Okay…here we go."

XXXXXXXX

"Always love to see you in action," Adam Ruzek complimented his wife as he watched her leave the interrogation room and near him with a wondering expression.

"Likewise. Any news on the case?"

"That's what I need you to tell me."

"Oh…what's going on?" Kim inquired as she entered the common area and spied Atwater and Jay by Jay's desk. "Hey…"

"Hey girl," Atwater greeted with a hug when she neared.

"How's Hailey?"

"She's giving hell to Vice when they get out of line," Atwater replied in truth.

"I thought you were chasing down the guys who tampered with Erin and Kelly's car?"

"Right so the guy they helped bust in Florida…apparently he slipped custody during transport and while he's lost in the wind…we found out he actually lives here," Adam explained as Kim looked at him in shock.

"Chicago?"

"We've already been to his listed home address but he wasn't there. We think he heard Erin's particulars when she gave her name and location to the arresting officer. He escaped custody the day after the arrest and they still had a few days in Disney World."

"Would have given him plenty of time to get back here, tamper with the brakes, get some personal stuff and then disappear."

"How can I help?"

"We think he's had a run in with minors before and we know it's a different database so…"

"So you need me to see if he has any alias, friends...got it," Kim nodded as she sat down and started to type while Jay looked at his phone.

"Fitting is today and then rehab. Erin'll be distracted."

"She needs to keep busy. If it is this guy who…oh…" Kim paused as she looked up with a nervous glance.

"What'd you find?" Adam asked in haste.

"Erin's had two run-ins with him previously. Last two times…two different alias and…he wore disguises."

"He probably looked familiar to Erin. Some things about those dirt bags never change," Jay mused as he looked up from his phone. "She said she got a bad vibe about him…"

"Yeah probably because she had seen him before but didn't quite know where to place him. She was right."

"And if this guy thought he could run away from here and then pick up his bad habits in…damn Disney World…how the hell did this guy…" Atwater hissed. "I'd seen that guy lookin' at my kids? I'd have tore him a new one."

"Hailey too," Kim smirked.

"But sure gives him motive for revenge," Adam pondered. "We need to find him."

"Careful," Kim told her husband with a small squeeze of his hand before he and Atwater took their leave. She looked up at Jay with a heavy frown. "He could be anywhere."

"Yeah now two guys with real personal reasons for revenge."

XXXXXXXX

"How does it feel?" Dr. Jones asked Miranda by means of the tablet.

"Feels…funny," she replied with a small frown as she looked at her mom in wonder.

"Any pain or real discomfort?"

"No."

"Okay that's normal," Dr. Jones said as looked at Miranda and then fixed something and pulled back. "Hearing loss is different for everyone so that's why we meet privately and do rehab privately because it wouldn't be fair to compare her new journey with someone else. She has her own style and expectations and choices and we want her to succeed."

"So then she just…hears?" Kelly asked in wonder.

"Sadly there is no sudden fix or instantaneous cure. Hearing came to her naturally and she never had to tell her brain to hear. Once I turn them on, her brain will have to adapt to sounds that will just suddenly come in from all directions. She'll have to retrain herself to identify and separate sounds and this is what the rehab will help her with. It won't take days but it could take some weeks or months be…"

"Months?" Erin interjected weakly.

"Everyone is different right? So depending on her loss and also how quickly her brain adapts to the new sounds. She and you both need to be very patient. This is going to give her quality of life back. The hard work now will be worth it in the end. So now with them still not activated I want to show her how to take them in and out. Can be tricky the first few times but once she's got it, that'll be it. If she starts to complain about discomfort or the sound quality is compromised it might be worth it to go back to Dr. Stiles to take a look at to make sure it's not was buildup. With this model there should be no issue. But she should never feel pain, if she does you come right back to me."

"Can I try?"

"Sure you can," Dr. Jones told Miranda and then went to explain that it would feel like wearing glasses the first time with the feeling behind the ear but then that would just go away. She also explained that hearing her own voice for the first time with the new device would seem a bit of an odd experience but she'd get used to it. "How is that?"

"Good."

"Excellent! And her body will need time to adjust to the extra amplification so at first it'll be best for her to get used to it in quieter places, like home. Throwing herself right back into school might give her steady headaches. But if she's comfortable with it right away she doesn't have to do anything gradual."

"She's like us…stubborn," Kelly smirked.

"Okay…I'm going to turn them on and let her experience the new sounds and adjust the volume. Ready?"

"Ready!"

XXXXXXXX

"Hey you seem distracted," Gabby mentioned to Matt as they neared the location of the medical clinic. They said they'd bring Cassandra along with them and the six of them would go for lunch; Marcus would be spending the afternoon with his cousins at Brett and Antonio's.

"Just thinking how fast life can change," Matt replied with a small frown as he quickly glanced into the rear view mirror at his daughter in the back seat and then at his wife. "One minute life is fine and the next…changed forever."

"Gotta appreciate each day for what it is right?" She smiled and gave his hand a comforting squeeze. "So Cassie you know what to expect right?"

"Yeah mom…no video posts or stuff with sound. How long will it take before she can hear me?"

"Not sure. Erin said they have to retrain her to hear again but that it wouldn't take too long but it's also different for everyone."

"Wow, can't imagine. Course I might not mind hearing Marcus anymore."

"Hey now," Matt retorted as he stopped the car and the three of them got out and headed for a nearby bench to wait.

XXXXXXXX

"Today was excellent! So I'll see you here tomorrow and we'll start our first real session. I want you to wear them today to get used to them," Dr. Jones wrote for Miranda. "Turn them on only if you feel you must but otherwise the new sensations might give you a real headache. But I'll leave that up to you. You're the one in control now."

"I just want to hear my friends."

"I know and that'll come. Alright so…I'm here if you need me or have any questions. Otherwise I think we're making a great start with this."

"Thanks Doc."

"Thank you," Erin stated warmly as the three of them took their leave and headed outside to where Matt and Gabby waited. "That was…"

"A real eye opener," Kelly commented as he looked down to see his daughter touching the new aids in her ears; something her long hair covered. "But…but I'm glad we have these devices and have family that helped us get the best on the market."

"Yeah….that meant a lot."

"Hey!"

Although she couldn't hear her friend, as soon as Miranda was outside and saw Cassie and she instantly brightened and rushed toward her and a warm friendly hug ensued.

"How'd it go?" Gabby asked Erin as they too hugged and Matt and Kelly just offered each other a friendly smile.

"Better than expected but wow…so much to consider that we normally just take for granted," Erin replied as she looked over at her daughter who watched as Cassie typed something up on the phone and then laughed. "But I'm glad she has a good friend who understands. I think it'll be easier for her."

"And then school," Kelly huffed.

"Worry about that later," Matt reminded him with a friendly pat on the back. "Lunch?"

"Yeah…but should be someplace quiet right now."

"I know just the place," Gabby smiled as she looked at her husband with a wide grin.

The six of them started to slowly walk down the street toward the quiet diner making happy chatter about the morning's big meeting with the Audiologist. But when Erin looked at Kelly and saw his eyes dart around and then meet hers for a few seconds; she saw dark storm clouds behind his normally reserved sapphires and knew he was worried about Hadley and where he might be.

Kelly's concern wasn't without merit but was it directed at the right person?

XXXXXXXX

 _'You ruined my life…I'll ruin yours….for good!' came an angry voice in the shadows as it watched the six disappear into the diner. 'You will pay…you WILL!_

* * *

 **A/N:** yeah I love a bit of #UpWater so had to get a hint of them in here hehe and hope people weren't too bored with the medical details but this is a story about hearing loss and the new journey so thought it was important to cover some of the things real life people have to go through when they have this situation. But of course keeping the case very much alive and the danger looming hehe please do review before you go and thanks so much!


	11. Hunting a Madman

**Title: Altered States  
 **Chapter 11 – Hunting a Madman****

* * *

"I'm sure Erin's said this but…but going after Hadley isn't worth it," Matt told Kelly as they sat on a bench outside the little diner they just had lunch in while the Gabby and Erin hung out on the swings with Miranda and Cassie a few meters away.

"Almost wish Voight hadn't told us but…but I swear it was him."

"Really think he'd take that chance? He just got out."

"It's because of me that he spent that time in jail," Kelly argued back. "He had the stuff…knew the location…he might not have lit the actual match but in mind…he helped murder Shay."

"And he lost 15 years of his life…think he'd want to chance going back in? He's not stupid. He knows he violates any of his parole restrictions and he's right back in," Matt tried to reason.

"I don't know…I don't but uh…" he paused as he looked up at his daughter and Cassie Casey as they now sat on a bench and then laughed about something on one of their phones. "But if I find out he did it…Matt…that'll be it."

"Just…don't ruin your life or your family's," Matt gently cautioned him. "You said today went well right?"

"Yeah it did…she was amazing. When Dr. Jones pulled out that box and then the aids I uh…I was so angry and then scared but Miranda she…she picked them up, started to look at them and feel them and then simply said…I love the color. Let's get these things working or something like that. I was amazed," Kelly stated in pride. "But then I think about why I'm there and that anger toward Hadley swells once more."

"Let CPD do their thing. This case also personal for them…they'll not stop until they uncover the truth."

"But I might not like it right?"

"I know you think it's Hadley…"

"I want it to be him…I want him to get…" Kelly stopped and then started as he shook his head. "Damn now I sound like the judgmental bastard. But I could have sworn that was him outside the house and then our apartment."

"Maybe he wants to say sorry," Matt shrugged as Kelly looked over at him and snickered. "What?"

"Ever the optimist," he said as Matt nodded in firm agreement.

"So what happens now with the rest of her rehab?"

"Well…"

And as they talked about the Hadley sighting, Erin and Gabby also talked about the same thing.

"I hope it's not him," Erin confessed. "I know Kelly wants it to be because that'll be easier than some faceless, nameless guy I put away but Voight said they have a few other leads and so far Hadley isn't at the top of the list."

"And the prison Chaplin can be trusted?" Gabby inquired as Erin gently shrugged.

"Hank asked someone he trusts but Hadley could just be putting on a good show. It has happened. Course it's also happened that sometimes these guys find God or something else and they make real changes so I don't want to convict someone just yet," Erin stated wistfully as she looked over at her husband in the near distance. "Hard to convince him of that though."

"His emotions are clouded because of this time of year," Gabby huffed sadly.

"I know…I'm sorry. I know you were close to her also."

"I want to believe Hadley has changed but I remember how they all parted. Was pretty sour," Gabby recalled as Erin's brow furrowed. "Hope they find who did this."

"Yeah…me too."

XXXXXXXX

"Glad today went so well," Erin conversed with her husband as they headed for home early afternoon; Miranda in the back on her phone.

"Yeah me too. They fit and they worked and now she just needs a few weeks to get fully used to them and then…then back to school," Kelly replied as he looked at her with a small frown. "Any update on the case?"

"I have a text from Jay that the team…Antonio's team," she qualified with a small smile. "Some days…like now I wish we were all back together."

"He's got a pretty kick a…butt team," Kelly smirked. "They'll find…whoever did this."

"Just want to be there for the takedown."

"Same here," Kelly added as Erin gently frowned. "I can hang at home if you wanna go and check in."

"Really?"

"You're just gonna pace at home."

"You're volunteering to stay behind. Kelly…"

"I won't leave our daughter home alone. I promise," Kelly told her in a serious tone.

"You don't know where he lives and if you ask the parole board you know they won't tell you. And neither will Hank."

"I don't have to go looking for Hadley. He'll come back looking for me."

"Kelly…"

"And when he does…"

"You'll tell the police," Erin lightly snapped as Kelly's reality slammed back into him and he glanced over with a small frown.

"I'm not afraid of him Erin."

"I know you're not…but I am," she whispered as her hand gave his a brief squeeze.

XXXXXXXX

"Erin?" Antonio looked up as she entered the Intelligence area about an hour later.

"Coming here…sometimes feels like I never left," she told him with a small smile as he gave her a friendly hug and then pulled back and let her eyes zoom directly to the case board that she had stood before many times before, many years ago.

"Erin…"

"I just want…to…see…what the hell? That's…that's the guy I arrested in Orlando?"

"Bradley Jensen," Antonio nodded as he neared. "That's one of his names. You've run into him before. Kim confirmed it earlier."

"What?"

"And he lives right here in Chicago and…he escape custody just after you had him arrested."

"No…no this can't be…" Erin muttered as she turned and looked at Antonio with wide eyes. "And the team is on their way…to arrest him right?"

"He's in the wind," Antonio told her as she uttered a soft curse. "Jay had one of his own cases to finish up but then said he'd join the manhunt. Kim too."

"I know they want to help but only if you need it. I know the big boss won't want them to leave their own cases because they feel…it's personal."

"It is personal," Antonio reminded her. "How'd today go?"

"Think Miranda handled it better than me and Kelly did," Erin huffed as she slumped down onto the edge of the desk and looked at him with a perplexed expression. "She's full speed ahead and I kept wondering if they hurt or if they'll stick out and if the kids will make fun of her or…"

"I can get the twins to go after anyone they need to," Antonio snickered as he referred to his two boys.

"Might come to that," she offered weakly as his radio cracked to life. "Ruzek, yeah what did you find?"

 _"Checked the address to both alias and it's clean…he's gone. But it looks like he was at the second address because a few things are missing. Computer of course but looks like he did some packing with a shovel because there is stuff all over the place. We're going to start canvassing the neighbors."_

"Okay. Lemme know what you find."

"I don't mind helping out," Erin blurted out and then stopped. "I know…but I can't go back to my cases until I know this one is closed. Jay and Kim are better for that right now. I couldn't be objective."

"How's Kelly?"

"He wants it to be Hadley. I'm torn on that. Anything on him?"

"Just what Voight told you. He did his time…apparently changed his attitude big time, has been a model prisoner and didn't do or say anything that would cause alarm. I know you want something but…"

"Kelly does. I don't have as personal connection. Kelly and I were just newly married before she died. I knew it devastated him and he talked about Hadley's antics before he was let go from 51 and then what happened with the Arson's but Atwater was more involved with the case at the time and I tried to keep myself out because I thought I was too emotional. Didn't think I'd help Kelly at all by being the emotional supporter. Maybe that was wrong…I don't know. I just want to find the right guy."

"We want that too. Just tell Kelly to stay away from Hadley…or…does he know where he lives?"

"No at least he wouldn't find out from us or Voight or the prison warden but he has friends that know him and…and I worry he'll go to one of them even though he said he wouldn't."

"Well let's hope Hadley hasn't told anyone where he lives now."

"And if Kelly does see him again?"

"The God help Hadley because none of us will be able," Erin whispered in truth as her and Antonio traded worried glances.

XXXXXXXX

"You'd tell me if you tried to find out where Hadley lived right?" Erin asked Kelly later that same night as they lay in bed together.

"Erin…"

"I know you remember? 15 years. I know when you set your jaw or a frown….something on your mind that you think I shouldn't know."

"What if it was him Erin? He…okay so maybe not but what if it was him? What if he was still so angry and vengeful after all these years that he caused our little girl to lose her hearing?"

"Course I'm angry…if it's him. What if it's the other guy the team is trying to find? The one from Orlando? He went there thinking he could escape from anyone here and we are there at the same time and arrest him? Course he'd be pissed. But you have to let CPD do their thing. Don't you always tell me that?"

"Hate when my words come back to bite me," he gently grimaced.

"Can I bite you instead?" She playfully tossed back as he glanced over with a widening grin. "Have missed you. Hurry up and get better."

"I'm better enough now," he entreated as he moved in closer and kissed her just below the ear. "And I've missed you," he whispered as his warm breath sent shivers all the way down to her feet. "Please…"

"As if I could say no," she offered breathlessly as she carefully moved herself on top of him. "Show me how much you love me."

"With pleasure."

XXXXXXXX

"Hey man welcome back!" Welch greeted Kelly early the next morning as Kelly entered his Firehouse, 66.

"How's Miranda doing?" Newhouse inquired as they followed Kelly toward his office.

"Erin just dropped her off for her first "parentless" rehab session. Her choice," Kelly shrugged. "Doc says it'll be better if we're not there. Not worried though. Fitting yesterday went really well and now it's just a matter of…of getting her used to doing something that uh…yeah that we take for granted."

"Damn."

"Yeah man sorry. But um…am glad she's coping okay."

"Better than we are," Kelly confessed. "Going back to school will be the real test. Haven't even thought about that yet."

"They ever caught the guy that fixed the brakes on your car?" Newhouse inquired as Kelly shook his head.

"They're chasing down leads."

"So…not Kevin Hadley?" Welch wondered as Kelly looked at him in haste. "There's been chatter that he's out now. Sorry…wasn't sure you knew."

"Oh I knew. Just wasn't sure who else knew," Kelly huffed. "Yeah he's out and uh…and he has restrictions that he can't come around here or 51 or our homes but uh….but if you see him around you call the cops and then let me know okay?"

"You think he'd want to do that? He just got out?" Welch pondered out loud.

"Depends on how stupid he is," Kelly shrugged. "Just…keep an eye out."

"Copy."

Kelly waited until they both left his office and then sat down at his desk and pulled out a file that he kept in the bottom drawer, underneath a few other files. "Hadley…damn bastard…where are you," Kelly whispered as he opened the file and then started to look for a name…any name that might give him the whereabouts of his longtime nemesis. He knew Erin would be pissed but he just had to know if it was Hadley that knew where he lived and was more mobile than anyone might have thought.

 _CPD will just check in with his parole officer to see if he's keeping his schedule…that guys a loser…Hadley could buy him with a bottle of Jack's!_ Kelly's mind pondered as he finally came across one name and then dared to call it.

"Hey…it's uh Kelly Severide. Got a minute? I need a favor. Do you know where Kevin Hadley might be living?"

* * *

 **A/N:** oh dear Kelly….what are you doing? Hope everyone is still with me and am ramping things up a bit here so please do review before you go and thanks so much!


	12. Searching for the Right Answers

**Title: Altered States  
 **Chapter 12 – Searching for the Right Answers****

* * *

 _What the hell are you doing…_ Kelly's brain spiraled as he stopped his CPD truck a few blocks from his intended destination and let the engine idle. _You know Erin and Voight and everyone will be pissed that you took time from work to go and see a man you should be staying away from!_

"I know it's him…I know it's Hadley! Damn bastard!" Kelly cursed as closed his eyes a few seconds and then recalled that moment in court when the evidence was presented that ultimately sealed Hadley's fate.

 _'THAT'S NOT MINE!'_

 _'Will the defendant kindly restrain himself.'_

 _'You're honor, the defense wasn't made aware of…'_

 _'Just got it today your honor by members of the CPD. The DNA evidence proves that Mr. Kevin Hadley was…'_

 _'THAT'S A PLANT! IT WASN'T ME!'_

 _And then Hadley turned and glared at Kelly who sat on the opposite side of the room but held his angry gaze nonetheless. Hadley mouthed something like 'I'll get you for this'….but that was it. Plant or not…it sealed his fate for the next 15 years. The case was closed and the source of the evidence never reexamined._

"I know it was you…you had 15 years to plan your revenge…" Kelly muttered in an undertone as his fist tightened. But just before he could put the truck in gear to continue with his plan, his radio cracked to life with a call and it was time to get his head back in the game; no way Boden would have let one of his Chief's go off on some kind of half-cocked revenge mission – no matter the personal justification.

He flipped his lights and headed toward his new destination but his mind was still agitated. He wanted so badly to confront Hadley and pound him into the ground for what did to his little girl that that was all he could think about. But as soon as he reached the scene, his mind automatically shifted into Chief mode and it was time to get the job done.

"Welch! What've we got?"

As he listened to his truck Captain he could hear Shay crying to him and he froze momentarily.

"Chief?"

"Yeah okay do that…Newhouse, take your team and enter round back when Truck has those vents open."

"Copy!" Both men said at once as Kelly stood back and continued to survey the fiery scene before him. But as he did, he glanced to the left of the structure and thought he saw…Hadley standing there watching.

"Hey! Hadley!" He shouted only to see a younger Red-haired man turn and look at him in wonder and instantly he felt foolish. _You need to let it go!_ His mind scolded as a few curious looks remained in his direction. _All it will get you is a reprimand._ And that was the truth. Boden wouldn't stand for that on an active scene.

 _"Newhouse! Vent's open"_

 _"Copy! Squad let's enter through the south doors!"_

 _"Watch out for those tanks!"_

 _"Some of the beams also!"_

Kelly looked upward as some of the smoke started to turn really black and knew something was wrong. "Anyone on the top floor yet?"

 _"Yeah…Kennedy here Sir. Barns and I are…there's something…"_

"I don't like the look of the smoke." Kelly told his men. "Maybe you should…"

 _"LOOK OUT!"_

BOOM!

Kelly's frame recoiled as part of the roof literally exploded and within seconds a few of his team raced out the front doors; a few scrambled out the back.

"Kennedy Barns! Who's still inside?"

 _"The back is still clear! We're going back in!"_

"Newhouse! Wa…"

 _"I see Kennedy! He's fallen through to the first floor!" Welch's alarmed voice was heard next._

 _"Barns here…I'm okay. Wind knocked out…but I'm okay. On my way down!"_

He was glad his candidate was okay but worried about one of his veterans. It would have been like Matt losing Herrmann back in their days at 51. "Come on Kennedy…" he muttered as he looked around for any signs of his nemesis. _You can't blame every mistake on him!_

 _"We've got Kennedy. He's alive. Just had his bell rung, good. Coming out."_

"Copy! And no one enters until Engine can put out that damn roof fire!"

About a half hour later, the fire was finally put out, a body recovered and he couldn't be happier that they were packing up and heading back to the Firehouse.

"I'll check on Kennedy and see you guys back at the house," Kelly told his team as he headed for his Chief's truck and headed toward Chicago Med in a bid to see how his Truck Firefighter had fared.

He entered Med with anxiety on his mind and spied Dr. Natalie Halstead exit the area his man was recovering and headed toward her. "Hey…how is he?"

"He's going to be fine. He suffered a mild concussion and a laceration to his neck and arm but he'll be fine."

"Thanks," Kelly nodded as he pushed past and headed for the hospital room and then stepped inside just as his man's head lifted and gave him a small nod. "When they say use your head…doesn't mean literally," Kelly gently teased as Jack Kennedy's lips offered a small smirk before his head slumped back down. "Carole is on her way here to get you. Take tomorrow too."

"I'm fine boss."

"Not really a discussion," Kelly patted his shoulder and smiled down at his fallen man. "Rest up until Carole gets here."

"Copy."

Kelly left the room and then pulled his phone and read the text from his wife.

 _'Miranda did great today. She said she wants to try to leave the aids on tonight to start getting used to sounds. Dr. Jones said she had a few moments but that's to be expected. See you tonight. Erin.'_

The thought that his daughter continued to preserve despite her current trial made him smile but that was about to vanish in the worst possible and unexpected way. He gave a wave to April as he headed toward the exit doors, stepped outside, rounded the corner and then stopped short.

"What the…hell…" Kelly uttered in a soft whisper as Kevin Hadley stood a few meters away. And even though he wasn't there to hear his wife's words spoken audibly – they silently hung over his head in that moment.

 _'And if Kelly does see him again?'_

 _'The God help Hadley because none of us will be able,' Erin whispered in truth as her and Antonio traded worried glances._

XXXXXXXX

Erin looked at her daughter seated at the table as she adjusted the volume on her hearing aids she couldn't help but feel pride swelling inside her.

 _'There was a moment I thought she'd just toss up her hands and call you to come get her but she kept going and we got through our first full session. Course there will be setbacks until she retrains herself to hear what she wants and focus on that instead of every sound coming at her but in this safe environment it's easier for her to make mistakes and learn from them.'_

 _'And after she's done this…school will be…I'm worried about her going back to school and falling behind and failing the grade.'_

 _'I think once she gets used to focusing on what she wants to hear she'll be the same as every other teenager.'_

The thought did make her smile but also worried her at the same time as she knew kids at school could be mean and pick or bully those they thought were different and now…she was different. But at the same time, Erin reminded herself that her daughter had some solid friends and wasn't the type to be targeted as insecure or a loner. She would be fine. However, at the same time, she would seriously talk to Kelly about getting a teacher's aide…at least for the rest of the year until she was all caught up.

She looked at the time and knew Kelly would still be at work but also knew he had permission during Miranda's rehab, he was allowed to work shorter days if it was possible for him to leave. As she made herself and her daughter a snack, her mind drifted back to the in CPD when she looked at the board and saw the details on their possible second suspect – technically first official.

 _'I get that Hadley has emotional attachment to this case…hell you all do to a degree but we have to make sure we go after him based on fact not emotion,'_ Antonio had reminded her as she paused and then looked down at her phone.

"He better not have gone to find him," Erin whispered, unware of who her husband now inadvertently confronted.

XXXXXXXX

Kelly's fists instantly balled as his side and his eyes narrowed whereas Hadley's expression remained placid. "I could have you arrested!" He hissed as Hadley's brow furrowed. "Do you know…what you did…"

"Yeah…" Hadley finally spoke as he lifted his hand for Kelly to see the bandage. "Cut it at work."

"As part of your parole…"

"I came here because my boss told me to come here. I didn't know you'd be here."

"How the hell did you get out!" Kelly growled as he held his place but his expression continued to darken.

"I was…"

"HOW!" Kelly shouted which drew a few irate stares from those around and a few on the inside when the large glass doors had slid open and then closed. "You did this…"

"Hey man…"

"YOU DID THIS! CPD will find out that you…"

"Look I just…"

"Don't play games with me you sick bastard! You did this and my little girl is deaf because of you!" Kelly shouted as Will Halstead called his brother and then headed outside to see what was going on.

"What? I never…" Hadley tried once more.

"You will pay for what you did!" Kelly warned as Will tried to get him to come back inside.

"Look I uh just came to get this fixed but apparently this is now a members only facility," Hadley snided in sarcasm.

"He did this! He's responsible for what happened to Miranda! This bastard should be locked back up!"

"I did my time!" Hadley shouted back as Ethan Choi and Connor Rhodes came up behind Will a few meters back. "Oh I see how it works…you have your goon squad to protect you. Always entitled."

"You sick bastard!" Kelly shouted as he tried to lunge at Hadley; Will and Connor instantly stepping in to pull Kelly back.

"I did nothing!" Hadley continued as Ethan told him to come with him and he'd get his hand fixed as he came to get done.

"Kelly…"

"He…he's responsible for what happened to my daughter!" Kelly growled as he watched Hadley disappear inside while a few onlookers from inside Med continued to watch the showdown.

"I called Jay," Will informed him. "He'll deal with this."

"He's not on the case!" Kelly huffed as he shook his head and then glanced back inside. "Damn bastard…he cut the brakes…he did this…"

"Best just to wait out here. If he's here for a legitimate reason, he has a right to be here. Unless…Med was on his list of restrictions?"

"No it wasn't," Kelly admitted somewhat glumly as he watched a dark sedan enter the parking lot followed by another and two familiar faces get out.

"Erin here too?" Jay asked as he neared after he nodded to his brother who headed back inside.

"What happened?" Adam Ruzek inquired as he stood beside Jay.

"I was here with Kennedy and came outside to leave when…when I ran into Hadley. And I lost it," he groaned as Ruzek waited for his partner to show up before he'd go inside and talk to Hadley. "He can't get away with this."

"We'll talk to him," Ruzek told Kelly with a small frown. "But if he does have a work order then…"

"I know…he has a right to be here," Kelly resigned as he looked past the CPD Detective and then into the parking lot before he shook his head. "Erin's gonna be pissed," he slightly smirked as Jay nodded in agreement. "And the other guy?"

"They're still working on it."

"Or they were until they were pulled to take this right?" Kelly countered in sarcasm.

"Just go home and let them figure this out okay? Don't do something to jeopardize the case."

 _Wise advice – leave now!_ His brain commanded to which he did. Kelly slowly wandered back to the truck and got inside and headed back toward Firehouse 66. Just as he got back and stopped the truck his phone rang and not surprisingly it was Erin.

 _"What happened?" She asked with an irate tone._

"I yelled at him but that was it."

 _"Will said he and Connor had to pull you off Hadley?"_

"Damn word travels fast," he cursed as he leaned back in the truck and pinched the bridge of his nose. "He should be in jail!"

 _"Let them do their job."_

"Wasn't my fault. I was there with Kennedy and he showed up…some work thing. Look I saw him and just…I saw our daughter and know it's his fault!"

 _"Think you should just come here and spend time with her. You're too emotional right now," Erin lightly warned him._

"I just…yeah you're right but Erin…I know it's him."

 _"CPD will take care of it. Come now."_

"Right…" he sighed as he hung up and then headed into his House to tell Welch he was on point until the morning and to call him if something really complicated came up. Then he headed for home. But just as he neared the turn to either go left to home or right to go to Hadley's new home and wait. _I could go ambush him when he gets home…_ and no…don't mess up the case for CPD – don't let him get off on a technicality.

Kelly looked at the intersection ahead of him and cursed in an undertone. _Which path would he chose?_

* * *

 **A/N:** oh dear Kelly! Hmm tension's rising and about to go even higher! Yikes! But will Hadley just let this go? And will Kelly listen to reason? His wife? And what will CPD find? Would love your thoughts so please do review before you go and thanks so much!


	13. Careful What you Wish For

**Title: Altered States  
 **Chapter 13 – Careful What you Wish For!****

 **A/N:** Okay so am very sad to see reviews drop so much so am going to try to ramp things up to get the ending a bit faster. To those still reading hope you all enjoy this update. Thank you.

* * *

The crisis of conscience felt like it lasted longer than it really did but Kelly knew if he did dare to confront Hadley or follow him and spook him into retreating or…or something that could possibly jeopardize the case and he didn't want that. He wanted Hadley nailed to the wall for… _you mean if he's actually guilty right?_ his brain prodded as he neared home.

"Kelly?"

"I'm…home," he answered with a tired huff as his wife's face appeared from around the corner and he stopped in the hallway. "It was nothing."

"I get why you'd be angry but he's only a suspect at this point."

"Still a suspect," Kelly reminded her; his words earning him a soft eye roll from his wife. "I can't just let it go. I can't…."

Erin looked at him in sympathy as he neared and then reached out and touched his cheek; his eyes closing momentarily to bask in the warmth of her touch. "Miranda has the sounds turned on."

"Yeah?" He asked hopefully as she nodded. "And…how are they?"

"It was odd at first and she almost lost it…gets that from you," Erin tossed back with a smirk as they both headed toward their daughter's room. "But Dr. Jones showed her how to turn down the amplification so she'd start to get used to lesser sounds until she'd be okay at full power…or close to it."

"Erin…"

"You do know the teams are looking at someone else right? The guy from Florida?"

"Yeah you told me," he replied somewhat glumly as Erin patted his back and he just gave her a small smirk. The past few days he would near his daughter's room and get no response. This time as soon as they entered, she looked up and three instant smiles were produced. "You…heard us?" Kelly asked weakly as Miranda nodded as Kelly neared and eased himself down on her bed. "What…did you hear?" He asked as she looked at him with a frown.

"Still learning…what to focus on," she told him with a soft tone and then spoke a bit louder. "And how loud to set these things."

"Do they…hurt?"

"No. Just feel odd. But they're okay. I like the blue."

He couldn't help but smile at his daughter's enthusiasm and for the next few minutes he basked in her contentment and tried to get himself to push Hadley's face from his mind.

"Dad?" Miranda's voice pulled him back to reality as he looked down at her a tender smile. "I'm not mad you know. At you or mom. I know it wasn't your fault."

His eyes instantly watered as he pulled his beloved child into his grasp and held her close while Erin looked at both of them with a soft teary gaze. "Love you so much," he whispered as offered her another affectionate smile.

XXXXXXXX

"Lost in thought?"

"Yeah…" Kelly replied as his wife neared with a tense expression. "This other guy the team's looking for…he…it's not personal enough for him. We got Hadley fired!"

"Okay but…" she started as he turned to her with a somewhat sheepish expression. "Oh my…damn living hell, you've been to see him haven't you!"

"What? No! I said I saw him outside Med and that was it."

"Whenever you're having a crisis of conscience you get…moody. I've known you for 15 years Kelly Severide. Don't lie to me!" Erin demanded somewhat angrily.

"Yes I know! I know…" he resigned as she looked at him in shock. "I called a friend of my dad's this morning but was interrupted by a call before…before I could confront him."

"What the hell…seriously? Were you ever going to tell me or would I have to wait until he pressed charges against you!" She growled as they stood in tension a few meters apart. "You want revenge that much?"

"Erin…"

"You're no better than him!" She interjected with a small spat as she turned to leave. But his arm flew out and grabbed her arm and turned her back. "I don't want to have to deal with our daughter's struggles alone!"

"He did this!"

"You don't know that!"

"I just…" he huffed as he shook his head and then partially turned away. "That other guy Jensen…it's not personal enough for him."

"He's a serial pedophile that was caught in Disney World. By us! He'd be going away for a long time. Course its personal! We're the key to his freedom! Don't you see that!"

"No I just…I can't believe it's anyone other than Hadley!" Kelly insisted stubbornly. "It's not like we advertise our address!"

"Well maybe he did what you did called a friend or better yet sat outside the precinct and followed me home!"

The two of them stood in heated silence a bit longer before they heard laughing in the other room and knew they had to fix the tension before dinner or else it would sour the whole evening and the last thing they wanted was to discuss the case with their daughter in any way.

"I shouldn't have said you're no better than Hadley," Erin told Kelly with a small frown.

"In moments I'm not…I want revenge just as much but you're right…we don't know who. Yet."

"Right. Come on…dinner time."

But that night tension reigned supreme as each of them just said a few words and then slept in silence until the next morning.

"Will be better when this is over," Kelly whispered as they got ready in the kitchen.

"Will be better when we know for sure who did what," she reminded him as Miranda came into view and the talk changed.

This time Kelly would drop her off at her rehab and then since it was Gabby's day off, her and Cassie would pick her up and she'd spend the rest of the day with them.

XXXXXXXX

"Any word?" Erin asked as she entered the CIS of the CPD precinct she worked out of.

"Still trying to track down Jensen," Jay answered as Kim Ruzek came into view. "How's Kelly?"

"Convinced that it's Hadley. I'm glad he's back on shift. But surprised you're not hiding in the back of Adam's car," Erin countered with a small smirk.

"Oh he tried," Kim grinned as Jay's eyes playfully narrowed. "But we can help if we need to," she added in a serious tone.

"I know and I want to help also but we have our own work and as much as Antonio would respect the help, we also have a duty to Chicago to help put these predators like Jensen away. Having said that…since he is also ours, there might not be any harm in checking with any CI's that might have heard any of his alias's around."

"Already on it boss," Kim informed Erin as she handed her a file. "It's been shared with Intelligence but there isn't much."

"Okay in the meantime…we still have a few open cases right? Where are we with the Dunbar case?"

"Last time I talked to the sister…" Jay's voice trailed off as they looked at his case notes and then tried to keep their minds busy with their own task at hand. But Erin feared that Kelly might just go and visit Hadley with the goal to goad him into saying something that might incriminate himself for good. Problem was…Kevin Hadley, if he did do that, would have nothing more to lose and that would mean Kelly would pay the price.

XXXXXXXX

 _"What it in here!"_

 _"It's so dark!"_

 _"We need windows open stat!"_

 _"Careful on the vents!"_

 _"Casey, where are your teams?"_

 _"Southeast corner. Yours?"_

 _"Northwest. And 34 is taking the two upper floors!"_

Because of the size of the fire, it was all hands on deck and that also included two other firehouses that he worked close with, 51, Matt's house and 34.

 _"Chief!"_

 _"Yeah?" Kelly answered as he stood at the side entrance to the large warehouse fire._

 _"Found two. Bringing them out!"_

 _"Okay! Watch yourselves. The smoke's turned black."_

 _"Severide!"_

 _"Yeah Casey go ahead!"_

 _"Can you see the third floor windows?"_

 _"Not on this side. What's going on?"_

 _"They're bolted shut from the outside! Teams can't vent!"_

 _"Yeah and the smoke's turned black. Pull the teams out!"_

 _"Copy!"_

As much as he hated intense fires this size, it kept his mind occupied on the moment and ensured that he wasn't thinking about Hadley, which would have been an unnecessary distraction – even detrimental.

"Don't like the looks of this!" Matt called out as he neared the north entrance that Kelly was stationed in front of. "Your team out?"

"Just waiting for Welch. Yours?"

"All out. 34 has two men inside."

"Welch! Outside now!"

 _"34 is all clear!"_

"Damn it!" Kelly cursed as he looked at Matt with a frown.

"He learned from the best."

"Funny," Kelly deadpanned as his last man finally emerged with a body slung over his shoulder. "Alright! Everyone pull back!"

And as soon as they all did, the roof finally gave way on the north side. It snuffed out some of the fire but could have snuffed out precious lives.

"Too close," Kelly whispered as he looked at the building with an angry glare. "Hate warehouse fires. Too many bad memories."

"Yeah. Seemed familiar."

"Smell…something. Can't put my finger on it but I've smelt it before."

"Kelly…you really think Hadley would risk going back to jail?"

"I don't think he'd care. I think he'd want to do one last big job and then split town."

Matt's brow furrowed as he looked at Kelly in wonder. "This other guy they're looking for…he have any run-ins with CFD? Maybe other recent fires?"

"Not that it came up…wh…oh…" he started and then stopped as he pulled his phone and called Antonio. "Hey it's me…this might be a long shot but uh…you find anything in any of Jensen's residences that could be used to start fires?"

 _"I can ask the team but why…wait you think he's starting fires now?"_

"Not sure. Just asking. And see if he's ever had any dealings with Kevin Hadley."

 _"What?"_

"Just…a feeling."

 _"I'll check and get back to you."_

"Damn, if he's adding arson to his list now…"

"Unless Hadley did this one…seems oddly familiar," Matt commented as Kelly pulled his phone once more; this time he called Adam Ruzek. "Hey can you confirm if Hadley was at work today? Thanks," he hung up and then looked at Matt.

"You said personal right? Taking us all out at once? That…would be personal."

"Yeah," Kelly agreed as it was time to get the teams packed up and let the AI squad claim control once the heated from the doused flames had died down. But as he got his teams ready to head back to the Firehouse his mind couldn't help but wonder if it was Hadley or a copycat. He had to know for sure.

"I'll see you guys back at the house!"

"Chief…Severide!" Welch called out as he neared his boss's truck.

"I just need to check something. It'll be okay. I'll be back soon."

Welch watched as Kelly put the truck in drive and then pulled away before he turned and headed toward Matt Casey. "You know where Severide is going?"

"No," Matt replied as he turned and watched Kelly's CFD Chief's truck round the corner and out of view. "What'd he say?"

"Just that he had to check on something. Got a bad feeling about this."

"Yeah…me too."

XXXXXXXX

Kelly stopped his truck in front of the abandoned warehouse where Shay had been killed and felt his anger start to swell. "Just gotta know for sure…" he whispered as he got out of the truck. The site had been condemned and abandoned and over the years developers had shown interest but then funding fell through when it was deemed a biological hazard because of the toxins from the previous gas station that would have to be remediated from the soil at considerable expense before it could be developed. The only ones to show interest were squatters and runaways. Those didn't bother him.

He gave a nod to an older man who peered out from inside his tent as Kelly passed and then neared the entrance to the warehouse, paused a few minutes and then went inside.

"Damn…" he cursed as he heard distant voices from the past – his, Casey, Mouch, Otis, Dawson…Shay. Boden's wedding day…frantic activity. Darkness inside. Smell of something toxic…fuel but also something else. And it was that something else that he smelt today that gave today's fire and this one from the past their unique signature. He was sure it was the same man. Hadley had been dormant for 15 years and now a present fire suddenly sprung up with the same markings. What else could he conclude?

Kelly ventured further into the belly of the black beast with only a small flashlight to light his way. "Has to be the same." He reached the area where AI had deemed the fire started and stopped and smelt. Sure enough the same smell…albeit very faint started to tickle his senses.

But his eureka moment would be short lived and he never got to pull his phone and call Matt or the new AI team. He knew there were squatters in the building or outside and had heard shuffling when he first entered but just as he pulled his phone the shuffling grew louder and he turned…only to be met in the face with something hard.

"What th…" his lips uttered a small gasp of surprise before his world started to spin.

"Told you…you'd pay!" The angry voice hissed as he struck Kelly once more which sent him sinking into darkness. "And now…you will. With your life!"

* * *

 **A/N:** oh dear….So who will Kelly's final battle be with? Please do review before you go and thanks so much!


	14. Paying the Reaper

**Title: Altered States  
** **Chapter 14 – Paying the Reaper**

* * *

 _"Okay. If he's not back in an hour call me," Matt replied firmly. As much as he wanted to give his friend the benefit of the doubt he wondered if Kelly had gone to confront Hadley._

Matt looked at the clock and felt his heart rate start to climb. It had been past an hour and he still hadn't heard from Welch. _Maybe he's back and Welch just didn't call…or maybe they got called to a call or maybe…_ his mind spiraled as he reached for the phone and dialed Firehouse 66.

 _"Hey man sorry…we had a few walk-in's. Severide still isn't back. What do you think's going on?"_

"Not sure. But don't cause alarm. I'll call Erin and see if she's heard from him. Maybe he had something personal with Miranda to do or…or I don't know," Matt huffed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

 _"If you need any kind of backup…just call."_

"Copy."

Matt hung up with Welch and then looked at the clock again and felt his jaw tighten. He only waited a few seconds for the bad feeling inside to strengthen before he picked up the phone and dialed Kelly's cell number. "Come on…pick up…pick up," Matt chanted in an undertone as he was only rewarded with empty rings. He hung up and then pondered for a few seconds before he dared to dial Erin's number.

"Okay…but if you're just not answering…she's scarier than I am," Matt half snickered. But behind his tone held nervous anxiety as he knew Kelly wasn't one to play games and wouldn't answer for the sake of not answering. Unless….he went to confront Hadley and if that was that case he might not want anyone interfering.

XXXXXXXX

"Hey Matt…what's going on?"

 _"Don't want to cause any alarms but…you heard from Kelly in the past hour?"_

"No…why?" Erin paused as she looked at Jay and Kim with a perplexed expression. "Isn't Kelly at work?"

 _"Welch called and said that Kelly told him he needed to check on something. And that…was over an hour ago."_

"Okay thanks. I'll take it from here. Hopefully…he just dropped his phone," Erin deadpanned as she hung up in a huff and then dialed her husband's number.

"What's going on?" Jay asked in haste.

"Kelly's not answering. Can we get his cell number traced?" Erin snapped as Jay and Kim traded surprised glances. "You know I'm only doing this because of his run-in with Hadley. If he's there…"

"Right…on it," Kim volunteered as she hurried back to her computer as Jay stood up and looked at Erin in concern.

"You don't think…."

"I think he's emotionally charged and wants to bait Hadley into a confession," she groaned as they both looked at Kim who tried to type a bit faster. "Antonio," she greeted as her former teammate answered his cellphone. "Any update on Jensen?"

 _"We might have something. Ruzek and Atwater are at a friend he went to university with. Believe it or not they're still friends. He claims he doesn't know anything about Jensen's uh…habits but said he saw him a day ago at Henderson's laundry. We are still working on video footage for the area."_

"And…do you have a tail on Kevin Hadley?"

 _"We do. Why? Erin, what's going on?"_

"None of us can reach Kelly. He uh…Welch called Matt when Kelly told him he wanted to check on something but that was over an hour and none of us can reach him."

 _"Okay lemme check with Timmons. He's outside Hadley's place of work. That's where he was followed from Med back to."_

"Antonio's gonna check with his guy," Erin told her team as Kim stood up from her computer with a perplexed expression. "What? You found Kelly?"

"Well…I have a location for his phone but…"

"But what?"

"It's at the warehouse."

"What?"

 _"Erin, Timmons just said Hadley must slipped out the backdoor! And that could have been maybe an hour ago."_

"What!" Erin half shouted as she heard Antonio curse. "I'm heading to the warehouse. Kelly's phone is there! I think that's where Hadley might be going!"

 _"We'll meet you there."_

"Think he called Hadley for a showdown?" Jay asked in wonder.

"If he did, he's dead because I'm gonna kill him," Erin huffed as they all rushed outside.

XXXXXXXX

Kelly's world started to come back to him as his senses started to be assaulted with the pungent smell of gasoline but his world still remains dark. Instantly his brain told him that something was wrong and that was an understatement. His wrists were bound and pulled above his head and fastened to something that kept him hoisted in the air. His feet weren't bound but he was blindfolded with a thick black cloth wrapped around his eyes.

"What the…hell! HADLEY!" Kelly shouted as his body struggled and spun in the air in vain. "I know it's you!"

"Tsk tsk."

He heard the male voice and strained his ears to hear and confirm that the voice was from his nemesis.

"Coward!" Kelly growled as he tried to find some give in the ropes that kept him captive. "To afraid to fight me like a man!"

"Like things better like this."

"You can muffle your voice all you want but I know it's you!"

"You…you nearly killed my daughter!"

"I wanted to kill you!"

That time Hadley's voice sang loud and clear in his mind and that forced his jaw to grit.

"You…you had freedom…damn your revenge!"

"Erin and Miranda weren't supposed to be there!"

"Well they were!" Kelly huffed as his already throbbing head started to ache a bit more from the smell of gasoline and the wound from being hit. "They were…"

A few seconds of silence followed and Kelly could only hope and pray that he still had his phone and that Erin or Antonio could ping it and find where he was. They did ping his phone…only he wasn't in the same location.

"I told Erin…where I was going!" He spat; knowing that it was a lie and that his wife would probably kill him herself if he somehow survived.

"Would be helpful…if we were still THERE!"

"BASTARD! Fight me like a man…or half of one…because that's all you ARE!" Kelly shouted in angry frustration. However, his captor showed that he wasn't to be fooled with and a few seconds later, Kelly's mid-section was struck with something hard which made his body buckle and his lips utter an angry curse. "Cow..ard!" Kelly wheezed as Hadley struck him again.

 _Come on Erin…you gotta figure out where I am!_

XXXXXXXX

Erin hardly stopped the car as they got to the warehouse as her, Jay and Kim jumped out, guns trained and ready; Antonio and his team arrived a few minutes later. She rushed toward the entrance, not caring about Antonio when he called out to her to wait.

"Erin!" Antonio hissed as he reached her side. "We have to play this smart!"

She looked at him and although she wanted to just barge in, she knew he was right. "Okay…call it…"

"Just…watch it in there. This place isn't exactly stable."

Half the team headed around to the back while the rest went into through the front. Since the area was only occupied by squatters and there was no electricity, it's not like they could just flip on the lights and flush out whoever was hiding inside.

"CPD…we need you to just remain where you are."

"CPD have you seen either of these men?"

"CPD have you…"

"CPD we need…"

Erin slowly made her way toward the area she figured Kelly and Kevin Hadley might be – the middle of the structure, the spot where Lesley Shay had died.

"Kelly! Hadley!" Erin shouted as she neared the area and didn't see her husband or his chief nemesis. "Where the hell…" growled as she paused, Kim Ruzek at her side and then looked around. "Did you see…"

"No."

"Nothing," Jay added as Antonio neared them with a perplexed expression.

"Nothing out back."

"No one upstairs."

"I'm assuming Kevin Hadley's phone was checked also?"

Erin heard Voight's voice and turned to watch him near the teams. "Hank," she stated as he neared and gave them a nod.

"Yeah…both phones are here," Kim replied with a groan.

"So…both met here, there was a struggle and…" Voight started as he looked at Erin with a heavy frown.

"Kelly lost," she admitted weakly as Voight held her worried gaze.

"If Kelly was dead, he'd leave the body here…where he helped kill Lesley Shay," Jay added as Erin's lips pursed.

"No…you're right. He…where'd he take him."

"These guys are creatures of habit right?" Antonio mused as he reached for his phone and called Matt. "Hey buddy…need some help."

 _"Sure…what's going on? It this about…Kelly?"_

"Yeah…and it's not good."

 _"Okay…what do you need?" Matt asked in haste._

While Antonio talked to Matt about Hadley's history, Erin looked at Voight and the others in despair.

"We'll find them. We can't be that far behind right?"

"He only needs a few minutes," she uttered softly as she turned to see a figure move toward them from the shadows.

"Whoa…hey there…wait…a minute…" the man stammered as he approached the team who instantly turned and raised their guns; his hands up a few seconds later. "Please…don't kill me."

"What do you know?" Voight asked in authority as the rest of the guns lowered.

"That one fella…he came in here…just wanting to look around and the other…he came up behind him…hit him with something and then carried him out."

"The first man…did he um….look like this?" Erin inquired as she showed him a picture of Kelly.

"Saw him from the side but yeah…looks like him."

"And the other…did he look like this?" Jay asked as he held up a picture of Kevin Hadley.

"Yeah…all scarred up…he carried the other one out."

"Did you see where?"

"Out back…heard a car start up."

"Car? Damn it!"

"Did you get a look at it?" Adam Ruzek asked in haste.

"Yeah…it was um…a car."

"Thanks," Atwater groaned. "Color?"

"Dark. Don't know the brand but he dumped the dead guy…well I think he was dead, he wasn't moving and got hit on the head pretty hard…"

"What?" Erin interjected with a gasp.

"Sorry," the homeless man huffed. "Well he put em in the backseat and then took off. Turned right and then was gone. Don't know where too sorry."

"Okay but if we don't know what kind of car he went in…we can't track it," Kim piped up as Antonio looked at them with a panicked expression.

"What is it?" Voight asked in haste.

"Casey said that Hadley could have taken him to…what? Casey, say again?"

"What is it!" Erin demanded hastily.

"Casey said that he thinks the address Hadley took Kelly to…what? It's on fire!"

"WHAT?"

"Let's go!"

Erin bolted for the door as Antonio told Matt he'd meet them there. "Hurry Kelly…just hold on…" she chanted as she glanced over at Jay who looked at her nervously.

"We'll make it!"

"Matt said it's already on fire!"

The ride to the building seemed to take forever but when they got there Erin's anxiety could only explode as the intrepid CPD teams got out and looked at the burning structure before them with shocked expressions.

Sirens filled the air behind them just as the trucks from Firehouse 51 and 66 arrived; Matt had called Welch the second he figured out what the significance of the address.

"Oh God…" Erin whispered as she watched the flames grow higher. But just as Matt shouted to his teams to get ready to enter, the front of the structure exploded into angry, dark flames.

"KELLY!"

* * *

 **A/N** : duh duhhh duhhhh! Oh come on you all know I love my dangerous showdowns hehe. Will the teams get there in time? Will Hadley get his final revenge or will Kelly turn the tables on his nemesis? But at what cost? Please do review before you go and thanks so much!


	15. Escaping the Abyss

**Title: Altered States  
 **Chapter 15 – Escaping the Abyss****

* * *

 _'You really think Hadley could have done this?'_

 _'Voight said he hung with some pretty bad people and probably picked up a few bad habits in jail. 15 years…that'll either scare you straight or just give you new ideas. My money's on the new ideas. Might not seem like his MO – but it's him.'_

Matt watched the plume of black smoke billow from the front of the building and cursed the fact that his longtime friend was stuck inside. "Damn…" he whispered in an undertone as he looked at his team and then over at 66; who were in that moment leaderless.

"Welch...take 66 and head round the back…see if you can gain entry there! 51 will take the front."

"Copy!"

Matt watched 66 grab their gear and rush toward the rear of the large building; Welch and Newhouse each giving orders to their respective teams.

"51! Listen up!" He offered all the instructions he could in that moment and then offered up a silent prayer that they weren't too late and Kelly was, despite being in the middle of the inferno, alive. _We're here buddy…just hold on…_

But…that prayer might not be answered as he had hoped.

 _"Back door is chained from the outside!"_

 _"We're cutting the chains and going in!"_

 _"51 and 66 trucks have water on the front!"_

 _"We need those vents!"_

 _"Back doors are opened! We're going in! Repeat, we're going in!"_

"Okay stay alert in there! Not enough windows and there's some pretty ugly smoke coming from the top!" Casey related as he nervously watched the front entrance. _Come on Kelly…buddy…damn it where are you!_ The news he got next wasn't what he wanted to hear.

 _"Casey…we found…a body…"_

"Is it Severide?"

XXXXXXXX

 **~one hour earlier~**

"Yeah it's me and I want you to see my face before you die!" Hadley shouted as he yanked the blindfold down and then stepped back and glared at Kelly in anger.

"What the hell…happened to you…" Kelly panted as he continued to try to keep Hadley distracted as his wrists continued to work at the ropes above his head.

"You…you didn't even let them look at the evidence!"

"It was presented…your DNA was found there!"

"It was a setup!"

"By who? Who the hell would want to frame you! No one! You did that to yourself!"

"I wasn't there! I only knew the guy! I didn't…I wanted you all to pay but I swear I never wanted Shay dead!"

"Just the rest of us right? Me!"

Kelly continued to goad Hadley in an attempt to draw him in even closer, which it worked. His forced his aching body to go limp as he felt the bonds holding his wrists start to slacken from his constant movement. If he could just take Hadley out of the game for even a few minutes, it might be enough to work himself free and end this madness.

Hadley neared him only to get within striking distance and have Kelly's boot come up and clip him right in the side of the temple which forced him to stumble backward, lose his footing and fall to the ground. The back of his head struck a piece of concrete debris that forced him to sink into blackness for only a few minutes.

But it was all the time that Kelly needed as he continued to work at the crude job that held his wrists bound together over his head. Finally he felt some movement but it wasn't enough and Hadley was able to pick himself back up and glare at Kelly in disdain.

"Come get me you COWARD!" Kelly shouted.

Which is what he wanted.

Which is what Hadley did.

Both would pay.

Hadley charged and it was just enough when he slammed into Kelly's frame to dislodge the ropes from the hook to bring Kelly's frame down onto Hadley's – free. Kelly's lips uttered a painful grunt as he slammed into the dirty ground with Hadley's thick frame on top of him. Hadley punched Kelly in his already throbbing ribs while Kelly brought his knee up and tried to get Hadley off him while he tried to get his wrists free.

"You'll….never win this…" Kelly grunted as he balled his fists and swung to the left and clipped Hadley in the jaw which forced his head to snap to the right and his frame slightly falter. The momentary lapse in the fighting allowed Kelly to bring his boot up and push Hadley away and then roll to the left and try to claw his way to safety.

Hadley, however, grabbed Kelly's boots and yanked him backward which made Kelly's lips curse as he lost his momentary leverage. But Hadley misjudged his actions as the movement allowed the ropes around Kelly's wrists to pull free.

"You ruined my life!" Hadley shouted as he kicked at Kelly in the stomach and pulled back to do it again.

"You did that…to yourself!" Kelly shouted back as he pivoted a bit to the right, grabbed Hadley's foot and twisted it which made him stagger backward and nearly fall. Kelly pushed himself up to his feet and charged at Hadley, the action made them take a tumble right beside a set of drums filled with liquid accelerant.

"This place…" Hadley tried to warn as Kelly hit him again.

"My daughter…is deaf…because OF YOU!" Kelly shouted; his brain too emotionally charged to hear Hadley's warning about the area of the building they were in. In essence, Hadley didn't care about Kelly's personal welfare as it was more of a verbal reaction to the very trap that he set and now might be caught up in the middle of.

And that's exactly what was going to happen.

Kelly knew he didn't have his phone with him so he told himself he had to get free and call Erin and tell her where he was; his words to Hadley a complete lie as he hadn't told anyone and doubts Hadley would have told his employer – this was a fight to the death.

Kelly managed to get to his knees and then started to get up. But Hadley also pushed himself up and then charged. Kelly's battered frame had already started to falter so when Hadley's frame slammed into his, he wasn't able to react in time.

His lips uttered another grunt as he was pitched forward onto his belly with Hadley on top. However, he managed to grab a nearby piece of debris and twist his arm around and clip Hadley in the side of the face. But when Hadley's frame faltered to the right this time the object in his hand became dislodged and Hadley could only watch in horror as his plan started to backfire – literally, right in front of him.

"LOOK OUT!" Hadley shouted as the lighter that had been in his hand that he was going to use to trap Kelly inside the building with flew the air and landed at the base of the decomposing fuel cylinders. Within seconds, the air around them lit up; two of the cylinders flew upward and exploded and two flew outward.

Kelly turned and started to run toward what he thought was an open door only to be flung forward by the force of the blast. Had the cylinders been filled to the top, nothing would have survived.

Fire started to burn around him, little bits of fiery embers that floated in the air and then hungrily gobbled up everything they came into contact with and then instantly started to multiply. Kelly pushed himself up and started to cough. "Hadley! You son of a bitch…where the hell…" he cursed as he squinted into the smoky landscape before him. But he his frame was about to collapse from the beating and the fight and he had too much to live for to waste it on Kevin Hadley.

He stumbled toward where he thought he saw the door and then quickly pushed on it, hoping to get outside and get some fresh air into his beleaguered lungs. "WHAT THE HELL!" Kelly shouted as the door, which had been chained from the outside, refused to open. "HEY! IN HERE! SOMEONE OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!" He shouted once more only to have his lungs fill with acrid smoke and his frame start to double over.

 _Erin…Miranda…_ his mind urged him as he looked back into the smoky darkness before him and then started to head toward the opposite side of where he was, praying he'd find an exit.

But when Kelly saw Hadley's frame finally emerge angry instinct took over and he just charged. Despite the fact that the building was burning down around them…the fight would go on. Until one of them would possibly draw their last breath.

That time…would come upon them sooner than expected.

XXXXXXXX

 _"Casey…we found…a body…"_

"Is it Severide?" Matt asked anxiously as Erin looked at him in dread and shook her head. "Welch! Is it Severide?"

 _"Negative. Jones is bringing it out now. Not Hadley either. Think it might have been a squatter. Looks too young. We're heading further in. Smoke's thick…in here."_

"Okay. If I see things change out here…I'll hafta call it," he huffed as he looked at Erin who gazed back with a heavy frown.

"You can't…call off the search until he's found!" Erin charged in anger.

"We have to consider the possibility…."

"NO!" She interjected with a shout as Voight stepped up in haste. "Look he can't…can't call it off."

"Erin…I want Kelly found and the teams will try. But if I feel that the roof will come down on any of them…" Matt's voice broke.

"I know…you hafta pull them," she uttered in a dreaded whisper as her hand clutched Voight's forearm.

"They'll find him."

 _"Watch the left Newhouse!"_

 _"Cruz, take the south east corner!"_

 _"Kidd, you and Otis vent the windows!"_

 _"We need…FOUND ANOTHER BODY"_

 _"Light…"_

 _"Welch…"_

 _"Oh no…Severide!"_

 _"Casey! We found Severide! Coming out! He's…we're coming out!"_

"What?" Erin shouted as she pulled away from the CPD members and hurried toward the stretcher where Gabby and Brett waited. "Kelly…oh God please…please God let him be okay," she chanted in an undertone as she forced herself to keep her tears at bay.

It seemed like a small eternity before Erin watched Tommy Welch and Rick Newhouse emerge with her husband and their Chief in their grasp.

"Kelly!" Erin called out as she raced toward the two smoky firefighters who hurried toward the waiting stretcher.

"He's not breathing!"

Erin just shook her head as she looked at the fiery kiss marks on her husband's flushed face and knew he had faced the beast head on as he tried to make his escape and then failed.

"Starting CPR!"

"Get the AED!"

Matt watched helplessly as the teams hurried to bring Kelly back to life but at the same time he was still worried about the teams left inside.

"51! 66! Who's still inside. Report!" Matt's commanding voice ordered.

 _"Kidd and Otis! We found…another body!"_

 _"Mitchell here! I'm almost at them!"_

 _"Chan here! I'm heading to the back exit!"_

"Welch! Need all your teams accounted for! Get Mitchell and Chan outta there!" Matt called out as the Truck Lieutenant from 66 pulled away from the busy paramedic team and then started to put Matt's order into play.

"Got a pulse!"

"We go him back!"

"Call Med…we go NOW!"

Matt watched Gabby and Brett bundle his friend and fellow CFD Chief into the back of the ambulance and then Erin climb into the back of the ambulance and speed away – toward Chicago Med.

"Anyone left inside? Report!"

"Couldn't get right into the middle of the building," Cruz told Matt as he neared. "Roof was too unstable. But no one else was pulled out. If Hadley's still inside…he's dead by now."

"Okay we need that fire out now!" Matt called out as it was all hands on deck, to help with the hoses and put out the last few fiery pockets. "As soon as it's out, go in and see if Hadley's…body is in there. We need a confirmation of death."

Matt turned his gaze and watched the last of the red and white flashing lights disappear from view and could only pray that Kelly would make a full recovery and that they'd find Hadley's body and that it was over for good.

XXXXXXXX

Erin held Kelly's limp hand as they neared Chicago Med and much like Matt could only hope and pray that her husband hadn't been exposed beyond the point of no return. "Kelly…you hafta be okay…you can't leave me…not like this…not like this! Kelly!"

* * *

 **A/N:** yikes! Hope everyone still has some nails left hehe. Hope you're all still liking this angsty adventure and please do review before you go – best way to show us a little time love and appreciation! thanks everyone!


	16. Aftermath of Revenge

**Title: Altered States  
** **Chapter 16 – Aftermath of Revenge**

* * *

"I need to know if any other bodies are in there!" Matt stated anxiously as he waited for word on if any team had found Hadley's body. Most of Kelly's team had packed up and were headed to Chicago Med to wait word on how their leader had fared. Matt looked over at Voight and frowned.

"If that SOB isn't dead…you give me one minute alone with him," Voight hissed under his breath as Matt just held his gaze but didn't try to verbally rebut him.

"Let's just hope it doesn't come to that."

Just as Matt finished speaking his radio cracked to life from one of the team members on the inside.

 _"Captain…"_

"Casey here…what'd you find?"

XXXXXXXX

Erin could only stand back in a numb stance and watch as Kelly was rushed from the back of the ambulance into the waiting ER operation room.

"Kelly…" she whispered as Gabby turned and hurried back with a serious expression. "I just…he has to make it."

"He'll make it. He's too stubborn to do anything else," Gabby replied as confidently as she could. "Miranda's still with Cassie."

"Okay I'll text her in a bit. She'll just panic and we don't need to panicked Severide women here right now," Erin offered weakly as Gabby's hand squeezed her arm. "I can't lose him."

"Erin!"

She turned to see Tommy Welch rush in through the doors of Chicago Med and up to her with a panicked expression.

"He's just gone into surgery," she replied lightly after a brief hug; Newhouse was second and then the rest of the 66 crew. "Dr. Halstead's in with him now but uh…"

"Hey…" Jay interjected as he rushed up to her with Antonio a few steps behind. "He's going to be okay."

"Did they find Hadley?" Erin asked Antonio stonily.

"Casey's still there," Antonio replied as Gabby's expression instantly zoomed in on him at the mention of her husband. "Fire's out so they're checking now," he paused before he moved in closer so that only her and Jay heard what was said next. "Voight's there and he uh…trust me Hadley's not gonna walk away from this."

Erin's lips drew into a thin line as she nodded in agreement but that still did little to calm the anxious anxiety that had ballooned into a hardened ball in the pit of her stomach. She turned back to the doors to the area Kelly was in and wanted more than anything to just push her way into them and see what was going on.

"He's gonna make it."

Erin turned to see April Choi approach and tried to nod, her eyes instantly welled with tears. "I know but uh…but right now I'm just…scared," she uttered as April gave her a supportive hug.

"He's got the best working on him right now. Will, Ethan and if necessary Connor…they'll make sure he pulls through no matter what."

"Triple threat."

"Well…he's kind of a VIP," April winked.

Erin was grateful for April's assurance even though she knew it would also depend on how much smoke Kelly had inhaled and how much his body had suffered before he was found. She pulled her phone and quickly texted Voight for an update. _'Tell me that SOB is dead!'_

XXXXXXXX

Voight looked at his phone and showed Matt the message as the two of them neared the entrance to the warehouse where the fire was now completely extinguished.

"Come on…" Matt entreated as the two of them slowly stepped inside; Cruz and Stella a few meters behind. "Fan out…we need confirmation of Kevin Hadley's fate," he directed them seriously.

"Casey…"

"If he's in here…he's as good as dead. Unless he had some way to breathe without a flammable oxygen tank…fire's covered everything in here," Matt commented as they slowly walked over the charred ground.

"I know but you know we need to know for sure."

"Yup," Matt remarked as they neared the middle of the building where Kelly had originally been captured. Matt shone his small flashlight up to one of the charred beams and spied the hook with a piece of singed rope attached to it. "Kelly…was here and then…" he pondered as he spun around to the right. "He tried to make it to the back entrance…see the steps I know that boot pattern."

"Really," Voight stated dryly rather than questioned.

"Old habits," Matt gently smirked. "Door was locked so he…turned and headed in the opposite direction."

"So if Hadley chained the door from the outside at the back entrance wouldn't he…" Voight started and then stopped as both of them shone their lights on the charred outline of a human corpse a few meters a head.

"Yeah, he'd know and he'd have headed for the front. He would try," Matt interjected as they carefully made their way over. Both hovered over the corpse that was badly burned and even though he was almost 100% certain, Matt still crouched low to check for a pulse. There was none. "Gone."

"Good riddance," Voight cursed as he texted Erin back. "I'll call the ME."

"Cruz! Kidd! Let's wrap it up!" Matt called out as he looked at Voight and nodded. "I'll submit my report and you can close the case."

"Deal," Voight agreed as he gave Matt a firm slap on the back and then looked down at the dead body at his feet. "Got what you deserved you bastard."

Matt headed for the exit and then back outside and took in a breath of fresh air and let his shoulders slightly slump. He looked up as Boden neared and offered his former superior a small smile. "It's over now. For good."

"Glad to hear it," Boden answered as he waited for Voight to exit.

"Alright 51! Let's pack up and head home!" Matt called out as he next told Cruz that he was on his way to Chicago Med. He knew he wouldn't be going alone.

XXXXXXXX

"Glad he's dead," Erin whispered as Jay neared her. "Hank just confirmed. Said ME would run a DNA test just to be sure but Matt said the emblem on his jacket, although burnt was what Hadley had on him at all times. I know that sounds harsh but…but I can't help it," Erin tried to justify as she looked at Jay with a weary expression.

"Don't think anyone's going to fault the anger today."

"Just wish I could go in there," Erin huffed as she cast a stony gaze at the two closed doors that kept her husband from view.

"Erin…"

"I know…I'll just distract them. He didn't look…" she paused as a nervous laugh escaped her lips. "Kelly always told me stories about guys who'd escape a really horrific building collapse or something and looked okay on the outside but then would drop dead a few hours later because they took in more smoke than they wanted to admit or…or they were just being macho and it would cost them. Cost them all. Just can't believe Hadley would take that chance. He had his freedom. What the hell."

"He had 15 years of dwelling on revenge," Jay reminded her correctly as they finally watched as one of the ER surgical doors opened and Jay's brother, Will Halstead headed toward them with a serious expression.

"Kelly…" Erin whispered as Gabby, now at her side quickly clutched her hand and held it tightly for a bit of added moral support. "How is he?"

"Kelly is going to be going into the ICU recovery soon. In about an hour we'll get a second set of x-rays to see how his chest is doing. He took in a lot of smoke and his airways were partially swollen and blocked. We feared respiratory failure but he was pulled out in time. We have administered some meds to help with the swelling and pain and put him on a bronchodilator to help open his lungs and help him breathe a bit easier until all the swelling goes down and he can do that on his own," Will Halstead explained to the anxious group gathered before him and behind Erin.

"But…he's going to be okay right?"

"His body just needs time and rest right now to work through all the toxins he ingested. How this affects him long term…remains to be seen. That's all I can offer right now," he concluded with a tight lipped smile. "I'll let you know when you can see him."

"Okay thank…you," Erin replied numbly as she remained fixed in place until Voight came up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders and gave them a comforting squeeze.

"Benny's on his way here. How's Miranda?"

"She's with Cassie and Marcus and Antonio's kids," she replied as her gaze remained fixed on the two closed doors. "Hank…Will said…maybe permanent scaring on his lungs from the smoke. What if…I mean cancer or…"

"Let's get through today okay? Not worry about something that might never happen."

She gave him a small nod but refused to pull her teary gaze away from the two closed doors; the pounding in her heart was soon the only thing she heard in the space around her. It wasn't comforting…it was daunting as if it was a bell tolling for a price to be paid…a high debt of revenge to be satisfied and she feared that most – it would cost them dearly.

Finally she was able to go in and see Kelly after he had returned from the second x-ray which Dr. Halstead confirmed showed evidence of scaring that would now have to be annually monitored. _At least he's alive….you survived one family hurdle…this is the second…you can do it also._

She entered the quiet room and gave a nod to the nurse who was finalizing a few things before he'd be moved upstairs to the ICU recovery area.

"Hey…" she whispered as she neared despite knowing that he was still unconscious. "Scared me today," she added as she leaned down and planted a warm kiss on his lips. "You're going to be okay…"

She paused as her eyes flooded with a few fresh tears as she noticed a few burn blisters on his cheeks and felt her stomach instantly tighten as she closed her eyes and placed herself inside that burning warehouse.

 _'HELP ME! SOMEONE….OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!'_

She heard his voice calling for help and could feel the heat on her back as she turned and watched him banging on the door before he knew it was useless and then tried to make it in the opposite direction toward the area of clean air. Thankfully it was just a few moments later that 51 and 66 busted through the doors and were able to pull him in time before smoke inhalation fatally consumed him.

"We need to move him now," the soft voice broke into her tormented thoughts and pulled her gaze upward.

"'kay," she mumbled and offered a small nod as she straightened up and then headed back outside to tell the teams.

"Erin!" Benny shouted as he rushed up to her and gave her a warm embrace and then immediately pulled back with a horrified expression. "How is he?"

"Still out but uh…but he'll be fine," she replied as she looked past Benny to the rest of the teams. "Thank you all for being here and the support…means a lot. I guess…come back tomorrow when he's awake?... yeah."

The teams took turns giving her a hug and wishing her well before they all departed, Benny, Hank, Matt and Gabby remained as Sylvie said she'd bring Miranda back to the hospital to be with her family.

XXXXXXXX

"Mom!" Miranda shouted, still getting used to judging how loud her volume was compared to what she could 'hear' around her.

"Hey baby," Erin greeted her daughter with a warm hug as she met her in the hallway outside Kelly's room.

"Where's dad!"

Erin looked at her with a strained expression as her hand rested on her daughter's flushed cheek a few seconds before her lips offered a small smile. "Aunt Gabby said there was a fire at work," she started, not wanting to fill her daughter's head with nightmares about her father being kidnapped, beaten and then nearly dying meters from the exit door all because one man plotted revenge for 15 years – the same man who was the cause of her new permanent hearing loss.

"Is he okay?" Miranda asked in haste, not really hearing her mother's full sentence.

"He's going to be," she replied firmly and slowly. "Come with me," she entreated as she took her daughter by the hand while everyone else waited outside. All the young people would be told the same thing – it was a workplace accident; only the adults knew the truth but that was their burden to bear, one they'd gladly accept.

But as soon as they entered the quiet room, Miranda pulled away from her mother and rushed toward her father's bed. "Dad! Is he dead?"

Erin gently turned her daughter to face her and tried to speak in a calm tone. "Can you hear everything I'm saying?"

"Yes…sounds a bit fuzzy but…is dad gonna live?" She asked with a broken tone as her blue eyes welled.

"He is," Erin replied in haste. "He was caught in a fire at work. Lots of smoke. They ran tests and he'll be okay."

"Why isn't he awake?"

"It's from the medication but see…" she paused and pointed to the monitors. "He's got a strong heartbeat. He's going to be fine. But I had to be sure before I called you."

"He can't die."

"He won't," Erin promised as she clutched her daughter's hand.

"He's going to be okay right?" Miranda asked as she kept her teary gaze fixed on her father's placid expression.

 _'Scar tissue could develop in the lungs…will have be monitored annually now…' Will Halstead's words crept back into her subconscious which forced her heart to skip a painful beat and her daughter to look over in wonder._

"We'll all be okay," Erin told her warmly, mostly to hear herself say the words and believe them. It would only further serve to show her that life was too precious and short to take any moments for granted.

* * *

 **A/N:** So I did waffle on Hadley's fate but hey…figured prison would harden him and he just had to pay for what he did. Hope you all liked this angsty update and please do review before you go and thanks so much!


	17. Family Comes First

**Title: Altered States  
 **Chapter 17 – Family Comes First****

* * *

A few hours later, Erin's brain slightly jolted her awake and she struggled to get the drowsiness from her eyes as she looked over at the daughter who was still asleep on the chair opposite Kelly's bed and then over at her husband. She blinked a few more times and then watched as his eyes gently fluttered and then finally opened and looked over at her.

Words failed to escape past her lips as her eyes slightly misted as leaned closer in haste. "God I thought I lost you for good this time," she whispered as she planted a soft kiss on his lips and then looked down with a small frown.

"Hadley…" Kelly managed with a small huff.

"Dead…good riddance. Not sad we lost him," Erin replied seriously as Kelly looked at her with a small smile. "You…damn you scared me this time Kelly…"

"Scared…me too," Kelly stated with a small cough as her hand gently caressed his cheek. "Erin…"

"I want to know what happened but…but not right now."

"I didn't…call him."

"I know. We found your phone and checked the numbers. He followed you there. Doesn't make it easier."

"Bastard…chained…the doors shut."

"I know…shhh don't let Miranda hear. Told her it was a work accident."

"She's…" Kelly lifted his head and glanced over at his sleeping daughter and then up at his wife and felt his brow furrow heavily but then slumped back down with an expression of pain etched on his face.

"It's going to be okay. He didn't damage what…won't heal," Erin tried to tell him with a firm smile.

"Erin…"

"Just close your eyes and rest okay? Teams will be here tomorrow. Matt…he knew you were gonna be okay."

Kelly gave her a nod as he struggled to keep his eyes open as Erin leaned in and kissed him once more on the lips and then watched him fall back into a deep sleep. One she knew would be restless and as much as she wanted to wish it away for him she knew only time could heal that.

Erin heard some soft shuffling and looked up to see Will Halstead in the hallway and quickly made her way to him. "Don't want any more bad news."

"How about some good news?"

"Could really use that."

"Second set of x-rays came back. The shadow we saw on his lungs wasn't what we thought, it was just some bloody fluid that coagulated but after it was removed everything appears normal."

"So then…"

"So then he's going to be fine. Annual physical but that's standard in his line of work," Will smiled as he hand gave her arm a squeeze. "He just needs some rest now."

"We all do."

But while Erin talked with Will, Kelly mumbled something in his sleep and then awoke with a started and glanced over to see his daughter awake and watching. "Hey…"

"Dad…you were…dreaming."

"You….heard me?" He asked with a growing smile as she nodded and pushed herself up out of her chair.

"Yeah…well a little…mom said…it was a work accident?"

"It was…"

"Dad…you gotta be…more careful," Miranda told him in a soft tone as Kelly's lips couldn't help but twist upward into a smile.

"Mom told me that too."

"She was freaking out earlier."

"I know. You okay?"

"Yeah," Miranda nodded as she looked at her father with a heavy frown. "I…don't want you to die."

Just as she said that Erin reentered the room and paused in placed as she watched the tender moment unfold. She remembered the day Miranda was born and how ecstatic Kelly was.

 _'Our daughter…my little baby girl…she's…she's perfect!'_

"Dad's awake," Miranda declared as Erin neared the bed with a weary smile. "He was dreaming…and I heard him. Well…he was kinda loud."

After all the stress and uncertainty of the day, Erin couldn't help but offer a laugh as she nodded and gave her daughter a warm squeeze and then kiss on her cheek. "We're all gonna be just fine."

"You sure?" Kelly asked as he looked up in uncertainty.

"Dr. Halstead just confirmed it," she answered confidently. "Second set of chest x-rays came back clean. Regular stuff to monitor annually with your job but…but you'll be fine. But sadly…he had no remedy for that stubbornness inside you," she gently chirped as she squeezed his hand. "Alright…time for all of us to get some rest."

"Can I text Cassie and tell her Dad's awake?"

"Miranda it's 2am. The Casey's will kill us," Erin retorted in sarcasm as Miranda's lips pursed. "Your phone will not explode if you let it rest for a few hours."

"Lame," Miranda grumbled as she slumped back down onto the sleeping chair and then pulled her blanket back over her and closed her eyes.

Erin looked down at Kelly and gave him a slightly amused smile before she leaned in closer and whispered that he would be fine after a few days of solid rest. "Love you."

"Love…you back."

And as she settled back into her chair and while she told herself that he would be fine physically in a few days…the emotional scars of how Kevin Hadley tried to destroy his life would linger a lot longer.

XXXXXXXX

Kelly awoke the next morning to see his daughter in her chair but texting away on her phone but his wife nowhere around. Although just before he thought about pushing the call button for the nearest nurse he recalled how his daughter heard him last night and so…took a chance to try it again.

"Hey…ladybug." His tone was a bit louder than normal but it worked as Miranda's warm blue eyes turned in his direction and offered him a bright smile.

"I heard that too," she declared happily as his smile grew. "Think I can go back to school now?"

"Let's talk about that…later okay?"

"Okay. I think I'm totally used to these things now."

"Hey buddy!"

"Cassie!" Miranda greeted as Matt, Gabby, her friend Cassie and Marcus Casey entered the room with Erin in tow.

"Hey…" Kelly greeted as he slowly stood up and then clasped his friend's hand and gave him a warm hug. "Thanks for saving my ass."

"Physical credit goes to Newhouse and Welch," Matt replied with a modest smile as Gabby stepped in and gave Kelly a hug also.

"Where are they?"

"Coming soon…they are taking up a food collection at the house," Matt told him with a grin as he eased himself down into the chair beside the bed.

But it wasn't long before Benny and Voight arrived with the teams from House 66 and then 51 and soon the small hospital room was packed with happy laughter and close friends who considered themselves more family than colleagues.

Some of the Chicago Med staff stopped by to join in the happy verbal festivities that seemed to last longer than any of them might expect. True to Matt's words, the teams from 66 had brought a myriad of tasty items for lunch, something that 51 didn't want to be left out of and so the challenge was on and they brought dinner. In the end everyone would win as their bonds would be strengthened more than they imagined.

"So happy to be heading home," Kelly mentioned as he came out of the bathroom, dressed in his jeans and a sweater, Miranda already at home with Benny and Voight; the three of them had gone to get some groceries and dinner.

"Happy you are too…happier still you're walking out of here."

"Me too."

They said their goodbyes to Will and April and then headed outside into the cool evening air and toward their waiting car.

"Whatever happened to the guy you arrested in Florida? The one they suspected might be the guy instead of Hadley?"

"They got a ping on the car he stole one state over. Antonio called the Indiana state police and gave them the Intel and it'll be up to them to arrest his ass. You….were right."

"That musta hurt….admitting you were wrong," Kelly gently teased as he hugged his wife close when she tried to pull away in mock protest.

"I guess I just didn't want to think he held onto that resentment for that long. It was just so…so wrong somehow. But I am glad it's over and Miranda never knew the same man who tried to kill her father was the same man who caused her hearing loss."

"She asked if she can go back to school."

"She asked me also," Erin huffed as they neared their car and she stopped walking. "I've just been so used to having her here that now I'm worried to even think about her going back to school and possibly facing bullying or…or being distracted by the aides and it affecting her school work….or I don't know what else."

"We'll make sure she's okay," Kelly assured his wife in a whisper as he pulled her into his arms and held her close as they stood in the parking lot a few seconds longer. "Come on…let's go home," he whispered as he kissed the top of her head and then slowly eased himself down into the passenger's seat.

"Kelly? Erin?"

"Yeah…it's us!" Kelly called out twenty minutes later as they entered their apartment and were greeted with the smells of Mediterranean food.

"Smells good!" Erin declared as Miranda rushed up to them and gave her dad and mom a hug. "Hey…" she greeted Hank with a warm hug and then Benny while Kelly pulled away and headed into his bedroom to put his jacket away.

Kelly heard shuffling behind him and then turned around to see his father in the doorway. "Did Miranda ask anything?"

"Course she did….she's a Severide. Told us to tell the truth," Benny replied in a hushed chuckle. "Hank and I held firm. Work accident nothing more."

"Good. This is our burden to bear, not hers. Thanks dad," Kelly offered gratefully as Benny gave him a serious smile. "I'm okay."

"I know…I just…I'll never be too old to worry," Benny admitted quietly.

Kelly just gave his father a warm smile before the two of them hugged and rejoined the others in the kitchen for supper. The conversation did not revolve around the details of what happened as all adults had agreed to not let Miranda know all the details.

XXXXXXXX

A few hours later Erin awoke in the middle of the night to find Kelly's side of the bed cold and instantly she felt a loss in his absence. She heard angry muttering coming from the living room and quietly tiptoed to see what was going on. She leaned against the door frame and felt her heart sink as she listened to his words.

 _"Hadley…bastard…daughter…"_

Couse she couldn't fault him for his anger but worried that Miranda would hear him. There were mixed views about sleeping with the aids in but she feared that if something happened at night like a fire or emergency she wouldn't hear it so to give her ears a chance to breathe and be cleaned out, she would remove them for a few hours after school while she did her homework or played on her phone or laptop.

But their daughter didn't wake up and as much as she wanted to gently wake Kelly from his nightmarish stupor she knew she was tired and needed her rest and he did also and if came back to bed with her, he'd worry about keeping her up all night and she'd worry about asking him if he was okay.

With that she tiptoed back to bed, sunk into the covers and didn't wake up again until the morning.

XXXXXXXX

"Kelly…you wanna take Miranda to her rehab?"

"Sure and then…I got a text to stop by 51."

"But…I got that text also," Erin replied as she held up her phone. "What's…going on?"

"Beats me," Kelly shrugged. "You didn't arrange…something?"

"Yeah because I know much you _love_ surprises," she rolled her eyes as Miranda joined them.

"What?"

"You ready?"

"Yup."

"Alright…let's go. Drop Miranda off and I'll meet you at 51."

"Okay."

XXXXXXXX

Erin reached 51 ahead of Kelly and slowly got out. She looked around with a small frown as she noticed a few extra vehicles there that didn't belong. "Chief…" she greeted Matt with a small frown as he exited 51 and neared her. "I see…Paramedic supervisor, Antonio's car…Boden's truck and…66? And I know Trudy drives that purple Kia Soul. Matt…"

"Where's Kelly?"

"He just dropped off Miranda at her rehab and will be here soon. What's going on? Don't tell me…forced retirement?" She asked weakly as he gently laughed. "No? Okay so…"

"Come on….let's wait inside."

"This better not be a surprise," Erin muttered.

"Why, because Kelly _loves t_ hem so much?" Matt deadpanned as she laughed.

"Yeah exactly."

She entered 51 to see the trucks had been moved out to the other side of the large doors and the large open area now filled with friendly faces and looked at Matt in wonder.

"Just wait…"

While she waited for Kelly she talked to some of her team and the others and worried that all this excitement would tire him out but Matt said it wasn't anything he had to physically and it would be something that would be, he hoped, happy for both.

"Hey what's….going on?" Kelly asked as he entered 51.

"SURPRISE!" Welch shouted as Kelly's lips pursed.

"Damn man do you want to keep your job?" Newhouse laughed as he slapped his fellow 66 Lieutenant on the back.

"Funny…so what's going on?"

"Well…" Matt started as he nodded to the crowd that parted and nearly retired Chief Herrmann appeared with a warm smile; Boden at his side. Before he continued he looked at his wife, Gabby, who gave him a tender smile and then at his two friends as his mind raced back in time to the discussion that started this all:

 _"He said he's not sure about the costs for a teaching assistant at the school…doesn't want her to stand out but also not fall behind. I don't even know the first thing about that."_

 _"But we know someone who might," Gabby replied with a smile as she grabbed his phone and pulled up a contact and showed it to him._

 _"You're right…we do."_

 _"Chief Herrmann."_

 _"Chief Boden," Christopher Herrmann greeted as he entered CFD headquarters later that same day._

 _"Chief Casey. So….what's going on?"_

 _"Need your help sir."_

 _"What's going on?"_

"Well don't leave them in suspense," Mouch piped up only to receive an elbow in the side from his wife, Trudy.

Matt pulled a white envelop from his pocket and held is in his hand as a hush instantly fell over all those in attendance. "So right after the…accident you had mentioned that one of the things that would help Miranda at school would be a teacher's aide but that they were expensive and the school didn't have the funds and…neither did you so…" he paused as Erin's hand quickly tightened around Kelly's and her eyes started to mist.

"So we all found the funds and…we got you the aide," Herrmann concluded as Kelly and Erin looked at each other and then back at the happy faces before them.

"It's for this school year and the school has already agreed. In fact they were beyond encouraged that they agreed to do some campaigning to take advantage of this assistance for this year and then look into one for the school for next year," Matt informed them.

"This…really?" Kelly asked weakly as he slowly opened the envelope and looked at the official School District document and then up at his friend in wonder.

"Yes really," Herrmann deadpanned.

"Miranda's family," Matt declared warmly as Erin's eyes misted a bit more. "And family comes first."

* * *

 **A/N:** And the ref to the surprise (did anyone guess what Herrmann would do?) is in chapters 7/8 so….back to normal! Well for the most part hehe hope you all liked this and please do review with your thoughts and thanks so much!


	18. Reshaping the Future

**Title: Altered States  
 **Chapter 18 – Reshaping the Future****

* * *

"You…did all this?" Kelly asked Matt as they lingered near his office at the back of Firehouse 51 about a half hour later; after the happy festivities had died down.

"Mentioned it to Herrmann and then he did the rest…with a little help from Mouch and Trudy," Matt smirked as Kelly's smile widened. "Figured you'd do the same if it was Cassie."

"You know we would," Kelly confirmed in a serious tone. "Hadley…damn bastard…he admitted the car accident was his fault…said it was only supposed to be me but uh…but that doesn't excuse it."

"Still hard to believe that he held onto that for all those years."

"Erin talked to Hank who had talked to the prison pastor who said that his sessions sometimes were a bit…disconcerting. And he managed to track down a few inmates that said that Hadley had intimated that he still held the grudge and was just biding his time. Idiot…finally had freedom and threw it away…for what? He was guilty!"

"And he paid the ultimate price."

"Chained the door shut."

"Yeah and filled that place with so much accelerant. Don't even think he thought that part through," Matt huffed as he looked at his friend in concern. "You okay? Halstead said you took in a lot of smoke."

"At least I'm not front lines anymore right?"

"Kelly…"

"He also said the x-rays were fine and now it'll just be up to annual checkup. Just not ready for a teaching job yet," Kelly replied with a small sign as Matt's lips slightly twisted upward. "Are you?"

"Hardly," he shot back in mock disdain. "Plenty of years left rushing into the front line."

"Gabby know about this plan?"

"No," Matt chuckled as Kelly's posture relaxed.

"Still worry about her going back to school though. Kids these days…they're pretty harsh when it comes to another kid having some kind of handicap. Miranda…she's a trooper. She refuses to be called handicapped. Likes the term unique now," he concluded with a small smile.

"Well…she is a Severide…" Matt laughed in response.

XXXXXXXX

"Miranda can't wait to get back to school…I think I'm more freaked out than her," Erin admitted to Gabby later that afternoon as they stood and watched their daughters laughing about something they looked at online. 51 had put on a friendly BBQ that all enjoyed.

"She's a Severide…"

"That's what worries me at times, wouldn't hesitate to kick someone's ass because they made fun of her now," Erin gently groaned. "Keep telling myself that kids are more informed these days or whatever but I know that bullying tendencies are still there."

"She's got a lot on her side don't forget," Gabby reminded her as they watched Sylvie and Antonio's twins approach and then the noise level really went up. "Or….maybe not," she groaned when Levi did something that earned his mother's disapproval. "Some day's…I don't know how Sylvie manages."

Erin could only offer a laugh but as much as the moment was supposed to be happy for her family, she did worry that her daughter would now be an object for mistreatment thanks to the teaching aide and her hearing aids. "At least the doctor is hopeful that her right ear will heal a bit more and she might only need the one for the left but right now…she just goes with it."

"She also gets that from you," Gabby reminded her tenderly as Erin gave her friend a warm hug. "I think that…" she started just as the overhead paging system went off which signaled to all that their merriment was over and it was back to reality – until they'd all meet again in a few months at the annual 51 4th of July BBQ.

"I'll clean up," Erin told her as all of 51 started to jump into action. The few remaining from 66 also helped with the cleanup and then it was time for them all to head their separate ways.

"Can't wait until Monday!" Miranda exclaimed as she sat in the back of the car; her words referring to Monday when she'd be going back to school. Earlier in the day, Erin had already called the school and they assured her that everything would be put in place on Monday and that they would have nothing to worry about.

 _'Shelly is going to be a wonderful addition to the class. In fact we have to others who are hearing impaired that will also be put in the same class.'_

 _'But won't the other kids see her helping them and just…'_

 _'No Shelly will be there to help anyone who needs it. Miranda might not need her for everything but when she does…Shelly will be there. You really have a special group there at the CFD.'_

 _'Yeah…we really do. Thank you.'_

Kelly looked over at his wife and gave her a tender glance before his hand reached over and gave hers a squeeze. "It's going to be okay."

"Will I ever not worry?"

"Well believe it or not…but Benny actually said he was worried about me."

"Course he was…yeah that was rhetorical," she lightly laughed as they neared home. "That means…really back to reality."

"Yeah but on our terms right?" Kelly retorted as they headed into the underground parking lot and then finally into the elevator that would take them upstairs.

"Reshape the future the way we want it?"

"Yup," Kelly agreed with a broad smile as they went inside and the door was closed behind them. Miranda pulled away from them and hurried into her room, her fingers on her phone with chat group that consisted of Cassie Casey, Lucy Dawson, Annabelle Herrmann, Naomi Newhouse and Stacey Halstead. Her new 911? What to wear her first day back after a few months!

"Imagine, your only right now issue is what to wear," Kelly laughed as Erin tossed something soft at him. "Ooh playful are we?" He wagged his brows as he closed the gap between them in the kitchen and then pulled her into his arms.

"Your side…"

"You want to kiss that?" He retorted before he silenced her with a warm kiss. "Besides…with all the heavy breathing we'd do I'd worry more about my lungs giving out than my side."

"Death by sex?" She snickered.

"Not a bad way to go," he answered with a warm grin as he kissed her once more. "The only thing that kept me fighting back with Hadley was you and our daughter. That was it…my family. Wasn't about to just give in to that bastard when I had too much to live for."

"Well I'm glad you didn't stop fighting but it's not in your DNA to stop. As many misgivings as Benny has you get that don't give up, fight till you die attitude."

"Well at least I can blame him for something else," he chuckled as he kissed her once more and then pulled back and both looked up as Miranda rounded the corner and then stopped short.

"Ewww really? My parents making out in the kitchen? That's so wrong."

"How do you think you got here?" Kelly laughed as Miranda rolled her eyes.

"Stork?" She retorted with a groan.

"Did you need anything?" Erin asked in haste as she playfully pushed Kelly away.

"No but…just make sure you like wash everything before dinner or no …ewww I'll never unsee this," she muttered as she turned and left.

"Oh yeah…back to normal," Kelly chuckled as Erin pinched his side. "Why not lower?" He flirted as she swatted his ass and then headed back to continue putting away their few groceries.

"Just tell your side to hurry up and get better," she playfully demanded before she left the area.

"Yes ma'am," he offered in mock seriousness as he too finished his task. Unlike the nights before, this night the three of them talked about the new teaching aid that would be helping Miranda at school starting the coming week. She was still nervous after being off for so long and would be coming back with a bit of a setback but all her friends knew the situation and her long hair would be able to hide the aids if she so wanted. She would continue with regular checkups and voice therapy if she felt she was falling behind but otherwise, she would bounce back pretty fast.

"Have so missed this," Erin replied later that night as she and Kelly lay in bed, her head on his shoulder and curled up on his uninjured side. "Just being here…with you…like this."

"I can get injured more often."

"Jerk," she gently teased as she pinched his side and he laughed.

"Seems like it was an eternity when we were in Florida and just enjoying some private time. We can go back you know…"

"Hawaii next year," she reminded him seriously as his lips pursed. "I'm worried about her."

"I am too but she'll have Cassie there and her friends with her. You…wanna keep her home? Home school? She's old enough to do it on her own."

"No…I don't want to put her in a bubble and take her away from the world and her friends. Just…worry," Erin mused as her fingers idly played with the top of his tee-shirt. "But I don't think I've stopped worrying since the day she was born."

"Not before?" He countered with a small smile. "Tomorrow…we'll all go back to our regular routines and…and …"

"And just take it a day at a time," Erin nodded firmly as she twisted her head upward and he kissed her on the lips. "Love you…"

"Love you more."

"You sure?"

"Pretty…sure," he grinned widely. He kissed her back and then the lights went out in the Severide apartment as darkness descended upon them all. The night wouldn't be as sound as it was before Kelly's ordeal, but it wasn't as bad as at the start of the week when he had left the hospital.

XXXXXXXX

"Mom I need my blue sweater!" Miranda moaned the next morning as she stomped into the kitchen where Erin prepared their lunches.

"Did you check the laundry?"

"Yes!" She huffed with an eye roll. "I need them to match my aides."

"Sweetheart…"

"Anyone lose a blue sweater?" Kelly called out as he entered the kitchen area holding up his daughter's sweater. "You left it at Cassie's."

"Major fail," she sighed as she snatched it from her father's grasp and headed back toward her room.

"Doesn't she mean Hashtag major fail."

"I heard that!" Miranda shouted back before her head popped into view and she offered them a smile and then popped back out of view.

"I think those are my three favorite words now," Erin smiled warmly as Kelly looked over at her with arched brows. "What?"

"Whatever happened to 'I love you.'?"

"Hashtag yesterday," she winked as he just shook his head. "Breakfast time!" She called out as Miranda came back to them dressed and ready to go. "You look great."

"I'm kinda nervous now," Miranda admitted with a small sigh as Erin's arm folded around her daughter's shoulders and gave them a comforting squeeze. "Stupid right?"

"Not at all. I think we're all kinda nervous."

Breakfast was spent mostly in silence, the talk being kept to a minimum as it was consumed and then it was time to get their new future started.

Normally it would be one or the other who would take Miranda to school but today they just wanted to ride there as a family. Miranda got out of the car when they got to the high school, said bye to her parents and then hurried to hang with her friends before the bell rang.

"Think she'll be okay?" Erin asked wistfully as the bell rang and all the teens started to head inside.

"We'll all be okay," Kelly told her with a squeeze to her hand before he pulled away and headed toward Firehouse 66.

"Take it easy today okay?"

"Can I give you the same advice?" He countered as she shook her head no. "Alright…see you later. Can't wait to hear how the first day back went." Kelly gave her a kiss before he got out of the car and headed for his Firehouse. He turned and waved to her and then let his eyes drift over the street before him and for the first time in weeks he felt settled. Hadley was gone and he had no nemesis to fear.

"Chief in da house!" Newhouse declared as Kelly entered to a warm chorus of cheers and claps.

"Good to be back," he smiled as he mingled with his team for a few minutes before he pulled his phone and headed toward his office. A text from his father, with whom he'd join with later in the week to work on an arson case that would once again have them working with Firehouse 51 and Casey's team. But he couldn't wait to get home that day and see how is daughter's first day with her new situation had turned out.

"Hey boss! Welcome back!" Kim greeted Erin as she entered the Child crimes division of the CPD that same morning.

"How'd it go this morning?" Jay inquired as he and Kim Burgess gathered around her desk to hear the details.

"Think I was more nervous than her," she replied with a warm smile. "But…she's back to school…Kelly's back at work and we…"

"Have a new case," Jay held up a file folder as she offered him a small shrug.

"Okay…what do we have?" She asked as her day rushed to get started. Later in the week, Voight would stop by and they would once again be working with Antonio's team on a case that would put all of them to the test once more. But they had proved more than once in the recent weeks and that solid familial friendship would continue to withstand any test.

"Alright class…we have some exciting news today," Miranda's teacher started that same morning. "We have a new teacher's aid – Shelley Hart. She will be available for any student who needs extra help and she comes to us from…"

The first day back for all of them would be a success. The teaching aid would help Miranda continue to excel in her classes and while she would have a few personal setbacks with the hearing aids, her friends would make sure that she had the help she needed no matter the circumstance.

The next 4th of July Barbeque would once again bring them all back together to enjoy the day as family and friends, catch up on recent situations and prepare for future adventures.

XXXXXXXX

"I'm home!" Kelly called out about 6pm later that same day.

"In here!" Miranda called out as he deposited his jacket on the coat rack and then headed into the kitchen area, kissed his wife and sat down at the table.

"Did I miss any of the details?"

"You're right on time," Erin smiled as she squeezed his hand and then both of them looked at their daughter in wonder. "Okay tell us…how was today?"

"Fine," Miranda replied simply and then laughed; the two adults joining suit. "Okay so Shelly…" she started as the three of them sat around the dinner table, slowly enjoyed their dinner and talked about their days – minus any gory details at either a Firehouse or child abuse case.

Erin looked at her family with a glance of adoration as she listened to her daughter and husband talk about their new circumstances and how their once off-kilter future was now being reshaped into something they all welcomed with open arms. Wounds would heal, past nightmares would vanish, resentment would die down but their love would remain and strengthen.

 **THE END!**

* * *

 **A/N:** well we reached the end of our very angsty adventure! I truly hope you all enjoyed this story for our fave couple and all the ups and downs but with a happy ending for them all. Thank you to everyone who supported and reviewed (really makes me feel my time to give you all something you enjoyed was worth my time-silence kills an author). So please do leave a final review before you go and lemme know if you'd like a new #lindseride adventure! **THANK YOU!**


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